Halloween/Apsara fic : Sweet Dreaming
Title: Sweet Dreaming
Genre: Mild Horror? Definitely Drama...
Rating: M
Characters: Rei, Jadeite
AN: This was written for apsaraqueen...for her birthday...which was in October... so, technically this is a quarter of a year late. I am SO SORRY (better late than never, right? XD) Part of the reason why this took so long was because I wasn't happy with it, but happily, I have now figured out what was wrong and I think it's a heck of a lot better now. So enjoy! If you're curious as to why I chose a horror-ish theme, I blame Lytton ^_^ this was started waaay back in October when the horror fest thingy was going on and that girl is nothing but encouraging. Anyway, Apsara, you are one of the coolest people I have yet to meet, so this is for you. Happy VERY BELATED birthday.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning in her futon. For one blissful moment she’s unaware of the pain her head is in and she opens her eyes to the darkness of the early October morning. She shuts them almost immediately and moans as her temples pulsate. She is exhausted, as if she’d been out partying and drinking the night before, but she’d done neither. Unwilling to think more on the matter, she goes back to sleep.
Her grandfather wakes her again sometime later. When she opens her lavender eyes it is to find him holding a cup of green tea and a bowl of rice on a tray as bright sunlight streams through her room. “I was getting worried Rei-chan, you almost never sleep in. Are you feeling alright?”
She sits up carefully, annoyed at herself for having caused him concern. “I am fine, thank you. I had a bad headache this morning, I’m probably just coming down with a cold.” She offers in comfort.
“How is your head now?” He asks.
She gives him a grateful smile. “It’s much better, thank you.” She says, and then she takes a sip of her tea.
~*~
Rei wakes up the next morning to find that she is even more exhausted than the day before. Her head aches badly and her body begs for sleep but she can’t afford to spend another morning in bed. She allows herself an extra hour and sets her phone alarm, but when the shrill ring drags her back to consciousness, she feels as if she’s only just shut her eyes.
Eventually she forces herself to wake up. As she pushes herself out of her futon an image flashes through her mind. They are there for barely a second and all she sees in them is darkness. It stills her immediately, a jolt of fear pulsing once in her heart and spreading through her nerves to the rest of her body. Just as quickly as they arrive, the images are gone.
Recognising them as something potentially important, Rei attempts to focus on the vision, but try as she might she can’t recall any more detail than the quick flashes of the abyss. She sits back onto her futon and begins to meditate in an attempt to reveal more. Closing her eyes, she takes in a deep breath, but the air is scented so heavily with the sweet incense of the shrine it prevents her from concentrating, serving only to worsen the ache in her head instead of relieving it.
The ravens caw loudly outside, startling her. She gets up and walks to her window, peering out into the dawning morning. They flap erratically as they fly overhead, circling the temple and cawing with piercing voices. A sense of dread begins to seep into Rei’s system.
~*~
A week later Rei wakes and finds that her headache has returned, her jaw had been clenched tightly as she slept, she can tell from how her teeth ache, causing a build-up of tension in her temples. The source of this strain was a dream, one which she cannot remember, but one which had evidentially not been pleasant. Ignoring her pain and agitation, Rei makes her way to the sacred fire and spends the rest of the morning searching for some new enemy, for some insight into what is coming.
The fire reveals nothing.
Frustratingly, Rei leaves in the afternoon to make her shopping date with Minako. She remembers to buy a different brand of incense for the shrine. Their current one is much too thick and sickly sweet.
~*~
Rei wakes with a jolt, heaving like someone who had just been saved from drowning, as if she only just remembered how to breathe. Sweat drips from her skin, dissipating the heat and leaving her chilled. She does her best to calm her frightened body, tensing her muscles to stop them from shaking, but she only makes it worse. She looks out of the window and wishes with all her might that the ravens would stop their cawing. They must have been what had woken her from whatever nightmare was going on in her head, and for that she is grateful, but the noise they are making is now piercing through her delicate skull. She lifts her weak hand to touch her forehead, her whole body still heaving and shaking, when she notices something unusual. Instead of lifting her arm to her head, she touches her left breast instead, and traces her fingers down to her stomach, her eyes opening wide as she realises that her satin slip no longer bars her hand from her bare skin. She is naked, even the simple cotton underwear she sleeps in is gone. Embarrassment flushes her cheeks despite the fact that there is no one to see her in such a state. She pulls off the thin duvet and finds both items scrunched together by her feet. Confused and more than a little afraid, Rei quickly shoves her clothes back on and pulls out a robe from her wardrobe, doing her best to sneak outside as silently as possible.
Her phone tells her that it is two in the morning.
Shuddering violently from the cold wind which blows through her nightwear to her sweat-cooled body, she makes her way to the temple archway entrance where Phobos and Deimos circle overhead, crying out as if they’ve seen bloody murder. She is no longer shaking from fright, the cold has chased it away.
With her presence the birds calm, flying down to rest on her extended arm.
“I don’t understand what is happening,” she whispers, stroking the feathers of each raven in turn as an attempt to soothe them, “But as you can see I am fine, thanks to you both.” She gives them a smile. “Rest for now, my friends.” She lifts her arm out but they seemed reluctant to leave. “I will search the fire again tomorrow morning,” she reassures them. She shivers again as another howl of wind wraps around her, flaying her hair out. Seeing how cold she is, the ravens finally fly from her arm, landing on the window sill to her room. Understanding that they will only feel comfortable on watch, Rei nods her head in gratitude for their efforts and goes back inside.
The ravens do not move from their guarding post on her sill until the sun is at its zenith.
~*~
Rei is reluctant to wake up one night, but her consciousness lifts slowly, triggered, it seems, by actions and sounds. There is loud screaming and images of a sky on fire, the scent of metal, the feel of sweat and grime on her skin. At first these things are hazy, as if slowly coming into focus, but try as she might to avoid them, they keep becoming clearer, until she finds herself thrust into a bloody and ancient war. Someone yells her name… and then she opens her eyes.
She takes in a deep breath, unwilling to move from her position of lying on her side until she has orientated herself. She is in her room, the screams and yells are the ravens outside her window, cawing again as if they’re warding off some sort of intruder. The sun is only just peeking out, the sky a dark purple with horizontal rays of luminescent orange and pink. Odours of sweat and the tang of metal still hang in the air and she realises that it is coming from her. That thought makes her sit up and she finds that her body feels very sore. She begins to panic at that, she knows those smells, the coppery taste of blood and the musty exertions of the body. She needs to check, to see if she has somehow hurt herself in her sleep but she is almost afraid of the answer.
Her hands visibly tremor as she pulls the blanket back. She gasps at what she sees and then puts her head in her hands, relief flooding her at the cause. It is her monthly period. She works it out quickly in her head and realises that she is almost a week late, it must have been from the stress. Quickly she gets up and takes off her sheets, stumbling slightly as she moves, like a person who has been deprived of sleep with no energy reserves left. She will have to put the bedding in the washing machine before her grandfather wakes up, she doesn’t want him to see this. Then she’ll take a shower.
As Rei bundles up the covers in her hands she notices something.
There are fresh drops of blood.
She squints in the dim lighting of the sunrise and looks closer. She is sure of it because of the contrast in colour. These ones are brighter than the other stains. Another one appears suddenly, and then two more.
The top of her lip tickles.
The sheets slips through her stiff fingers as they tense at the implication. They fall to the floor with a soft but dull thump and the sound stirs her. She then raises a careful hand to her nose, as she does so, she finds the same tickling sensation is being felt in her ear. She lifts her other hand and touches her face in both places, pulling back to check if what she fears is true.
There, on the fingertips of both hands are the dark traces of blood. Terror floods through her as she runs to her vanity mirror. She pulls back just as quickly, tears filling her eyes at the sight of the red tendrils slipping from the orifices, down the sides of her porcelain cheeks and her pink lips.
She shoves her sheets into the washing machine and then runs into the shower. She calls her doctor and books an appointment for the next day and then she spends the rest of her time in front of the sacred fire, searching for something, anything.
~*~
Her grandfather notices she’s skipped breakfast and he brings it to her in her room.
He finds Rei on her laptop, thoroughly engrossed in whatever the technological thing is telling her, “What are you up to, Rei-chan?” he asks gently.
“Homework…” she lies, barely registering he’s there, “I forgot to do it last night.”
He chuckles a little, “Do they still call it ‘homework’ now that you’re in university?” he asks, finding it a little funny. But then his keen eyes catch a glimpse of the website and he frowns. “Rei-chan, what are you looking up?”
She shuts the lid down quickly and gives him her best smile, “Nothing,” she says, brushing it off, “I was just curious.”
She takes the tea he’s brought and sips it.
He leaves, worried.
~*~
Rei has arranged it so that all of her test results are to be collected and not sent home to the shrine. But she forgets to mention this to the oncologist and his secretary sends her an appointment letter.
She wakes up one morning and goes to have breakfast. Her grandfather is sitting at the table, a haggard look marring his old, refined features, he’s clutching more than holding the letter and looking at her with eyes as dark as hers are light. “Rei-chan,” his voice is a little hoarse, a little quivering, “What is going on?”
She takes in a heavy breath and sits down. “I haven’t been feeling well for the past few weeks,” she says, gently pulling away the appointment letter, “I’ve been going to a few doctors for some tests.”
“But for canc-”
“For everything,” she interrupts, reassuring him. “I’ve seen other doctors, too.”
“Is it so serious?” He would not be placated. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a distracted, and maybe a little tired,” he says, thinking back over the past weeks and wondering how he could have been so neglectful, “but you always get like that when you have your exams!”
“I promise you,” she lies again, “I’m not worried, grandfather, it’s more like a very thorough check up.”
“And what have they found?” he asks, nervous.
She gives him her most comforting smile. “So far, nothing at all. To be honest I don’t think it’s very serious, but father has been paying for private insurance, so I saw no reason not to use it.”
Her grandfather looks down at his hands, calming himself, but still not convinced. “That day you were on that laptop computer device, you were reading about the condition that… that took your mother.”
She grabs his hands in hers, holding them tight and forces him to look at her, “That is why I’ve asked for all of these tests, I want to make sure, really sure that everything is alright.”
“If it is nothing, then why have you been keeping this from me?” he asks, hurt and still untrusting.
“So far everything I’ve had has come back saying that I’m perfectly healthy, the oncologist appointment is just a follow up, he hasn’t found anything either,” she explains. “If they’d found anything wrong, even the slightest thing, I promise you, grandfather, you would have been the first person I would have told. I didn’t want to worry you over nothing. That is why I have been keeping it to myself.”
He is finally satisfied. “You must have been very scared, did you at least go with your friends?”
Rei smiles, still clutching his old, withered hands, “I didn’t want to worry them either.”
“Will you let me come to the rest of your appointments?” he asks, and his eyes plead so desperately that Rei cannot refuse him.
“Of course,” she says and he finally smiles.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning, acutely aching all over and her head throbbing. Her throat is sore and there’s a horrible taste in the back of it, sickly sweet to the point of being putrid.
She gags.
She knows now that this stench is not from the incense used at the temple and it frightens her to feel so powerless in the face of such omens.
She vaguely recognises it, as if it triggers something in the back of her mind, but she does not know what, or, she worries, I do not want to remember.
She drinks a cup of green tea to soothe and cleanse her throat and tries desperately to remember anything from her dreams, but her memories are like smoky vines which tease her, drawing her in. She knows they’re there, nestled in her brain, but when she reaches for one, her delicate fingers tracing along the twisted smoke to pull it close, she feels nothing but the air. They’re illusions, false promises. The substance of the dream is out of reach, if there is anything in it at all.
She consults the fire again, but just like the past few weeks, it shows her nothing. There is no indication of any new villain, no hint of anything wrong at all. She cannot understand it. It is as if everything she is feeling is all a lie.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning, she is not surprised to find her body is sore, nor is she shocked when she feels a slight crustiness of dried blood in her nose and ears. Her ravens, as usual, stand watch at her window.
The doctors have revealed nothing, technically she is in the pinnacle of health, and she does her best to conceal that there is anything the matter from her grandfather - to prolong his relief as much as possible.
She spends as much time as she can in front of the fire, searching, searching, searching. She rarely goes to her classes, and when she does, she does not concentrate on them.
She is not afraid. She’s too exhausted for that.
~*~
Rei wakes up at the screeching of her ravens, she is in more pain than usual but she forces herself to get on with her day. She eats breakfast and then goes to the bathroom to take a shower.
When she removes her clothes she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her violet eyes widen and suddenly she begins to cry. She cannot take it anymore. She is sick and tired of what is happening. She stares at her reflection through the tears and her knees weaken as her whole body shakes, so she puts the toilet seat down and sits, and weeps and weeps until her eyes run dry.
When she’s finally finished she feels no better, there is no cathartic release. She is trapped.
She looks up again and examines her body properly. She is covered in bruises. Above her left breast are finger marks, and on her biceps too, as if someone gripped her terribly hard. There is one on her hipbone and a few on her inner thighs. But the bruising is deep, a purple so dark it is almost black. She notices that the prints are not particularly large… they’re almost… almost… she frowns and her dark eyebrows crinkle slightly as she brings her right hand and places it on the bruises on the top of her breast, by her heart.
They match perfectly.
She spends the day making charms and places them all over her room. She says prayer after prayer until she falls asleep.
~*~
It is not yet morning and her body hurts more than it has before, it is no longer an ache, but searing pain. She finds herself naked again, and parts of her body feel like they’ve been blistered: her neck, her breasts, her inner thighs, her stomach, as if someone has been painting her body with streaks of burning fire. She switches on the light, the charms and her clothes are shredded and strewn all over the floor. Her fingers are raw.
Her scream is stuck in her throat.
She begins to shake all over again. She does not know which is worse, a creature making these marks on her, or the fact that it forces her to do it to herself in her sleep. Because that is what this is. Without a shadow of a doubt, Rei now knows. This has to be some new enemy, some powerful creature which manipulates the mind and controls its victims in their sleep. Perhaps it feeds on terror. Perhaps it tries to wear its prey down before it attacks.
She places a salve on her burns, she sweeps away the confetti-like mess, but her body shakes and shakes. She cannot control her fear.
Rei steels herself. Her confidence returns as she makes a decision. She needs to tell the others. She will not be foolish this time, she must warn them. Things have gone on far enough, and she knows now, the limits of her own power and will.
She showers and dresses and is about to use her communicator when something occurs to her. She sits on her futon and she listens carefully. At first she hears nothing. And then, as she calms her body and rests her mind, small sounds become louder: the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen, the soft shuffling of her grandfather in his slippers, the rustling of leaves in the trees outside. Her stomach begins to turn. There is a sound missing, an important one.
Something she has not heard since the day before.
Something which had been a regular occurrence since this nightmare of hers had begun.
She throws on a coat as quickly as she is able and she rushes outside.
She searches everywhere, climbing trees like she used to when she was young, looking in bushes and even leaving the temple itself in her desperate need to find them.
She is more terrified now than she has ever been. She calls Minako in a panic. She does not make much sense, the collected reserve of the infamously composed Rei Hino has shattered.
She tells her friend everything and even though Minako has never directly been told of their real identity she seems to know anyway. She is serious and calm. She tells Rei to calm down and hangs up. Within less than five minutes she is there and she holds Rei until she stops shaking, her blue eyes are icy and cold. The others soon join them and they look for the ravens until nightfall.
Ami finds them.
They are buried under a tree in a shallow grave. There is almost nothing left of their burnt corpses.
Usagi begins to wail. Rei is too full of guilt and fear to cry. She does not understand why she feels the former but she dreads the implication.
~*~
Usagi begs Rei to leave the shrine but she will not. She does not want to abandon her grandfather to whatever it is that is haunting her at the shrine, and in order to take him with her, she would have to tell him why. She does not want to worry him. So all four Senshi insist on staying with her in the night.
They wait until Rei’s grandfather falls asleep and then Usagi transforms and uses her most powerful healing attack to purify the shrine.
They all spend the rest of the night in her room and for a moment, Rei feels happy again, reminded of the past when her friends would have sleepovers and argue over manga, boys and studying.
At first they decide to remain awake, but slowly, one by one, they all succumb to sleep.
All, of course, except for Rei.
Just as her bright violet eyes are about to close, the smell of charcoal hits her. She initially believes that her grandfather has woken and lighted the sacred fire. She gets up and heads to the room, only to find that the closer she gets, the more saccharine the scent becomes. When she enters the inner sanctum of the shrine she finds the fire is unlighted and she gags at the acrid, putrid sweetness which coats the inside of her nose and mouth and spreads down her throat.
She runs to the bathroom and vomits. There is no denying the smell, it is the burning of flesh. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and suddenly she understands.
Her friends cannot help her. This is no new enemy.
She braves the inner sanctum again, doing her best not to breathe in and lights the fire. She asks to see him but the fire only shows him when he is in flames, a burning corpse by her hand. She searches harder, she wants to see him before, when his hair was sunshine gold and he had eyes as bright as a summer sky, but the images of him are gone, they disappear and only the fire remains.
The smell becomes too intense, her eyes water and she wretches again but there is nothing in her stomach left to expel. There is a sudden chill which causes her to shudder, only she is not cold, she is burning hot. She feels feverish, like she is ill, as if she is infected.
There is a soft breath on her neck and her hair stands on end.
And then she feels him behind her.
Creeping slowly up her arm is the sensation of a flaky twig brushing against her, except that it is warm, too warm, and there is give as it presses on her skin, as if it has a molten core. Rei does not dare imagine the truth.
“Jadeite…” she whispers, her voice dry and fearful.
The breath behind her whispers in her ear, a hot body, sticky in some places, crackling and hard in others leans onto her back. “Kamala…” he whispers back.
He laughs, deep, mocking, and the fire goes out.
~*~
Rei wakes with a start. She finds that she is not alone and sees that Minako is with her, panting and holding her as if her life depended on it as they lay on the floor. She looks around and finds herself in the inner sanctum.
“You were falling into the fire…” Minako says, shaking and out of breath, “I only caught you just in time.”
Rei holds onto her friend for a long time, both women cry silently with relief.
~*~
Rei does not sleep that night and neither does Minako. Instead, they sit in silence.
Minako does not say it, but Rei can see her leader is afraid. Sailor Moon’s purification did not work. What more powerful magic is there?
None, Rei thinks and she knows that whatever she does, she must face it alone.
When the others wake up Rei lies to them. She tells them that last night, Sailor Moon’s healing attack brought out the demon. She tells them that she fought against it and that Minako saved her from death.
Everything is fine now.
Usagi begins to cry comically, clutching at her friend, upset that she was not woken when there was danger. Ami and Makoto are hesitant to believe her, but from Minako’s encouraging words and bright smile they accept it as fact and are relieved.
They enjoy a large breakfast together and spend the afternoon watching films, reading manga and acting as if they are fourteen again. Rei yells at Usagi when she spills milk on her futon and Makoto has to bake a batch of cookies before Usagi can be cheered up again.
Eventually it is time to leave and the girls get up to go. Makoto, Ami and Usagi say their goodbyes and thank Rei’s grandfather for allowing them to stay. He wishes them well and pinches their cheeks.
While they talk to him Minako’s happy features suddenly drop and she looks at Rei with anger and fear and worry. Rei is not surprised when her friend grips her arms with all the strength gifted to Sailor Venus.
“Whatever this is, I want you to come out of it alive,” she says, “You are strong. Defeat it.”
Rei wants to smile, she wishes she could make some sort of comment to lighten the mood, but there is no point. Her violet eyes look tired and afraid, she knows it. Her skin is pale and her body pumps with adrenaline at what she must do. She nods once, delicately, and then Minako leaves.
~*~
While Rei’s grandfather sleeps, she waits in her bed. She thinks about the burning corpse. She plays the moment of her awakening over and over and over again in her head. She remembers the way he looked at her, she recalls his scream as he was set on fire, his body writhing in pain until it withered into charred remains.
She forgets the elation which came with vanquishing her fist foe, the sense of homecoming when she realised who she really was. Her memory of first becoming the Senshi of Mars in this life is changed forever, and it now becomes all about him.
She thinks back to the past, hazy memories, like dreams. From there she pulls out his form, tall and handsome, strong and kind. She begins to weep… What have I done? she asks herself.
And he answers.
“Nothing you can’t fix, Kamala…”
She shudders at his voice and her old name. The rancid stench is there again, hovering around her, above her, seeping through her pores. She remembers something else about him… King of Illusions they called him. “This is not real,” she says and it all makes sense - the dreams that she cannot remember when she wakes up in the mornings, her self-inflicted pains, burns and bruises, it’s all trickery of the mind, he is not there. “This is all in my head,” she says, sitting up from her futon, but unwilling to turn and look at him.
He laughs again. It is a sound she only vaguely remembers. It is not too deep, but it is masculine and sure, she used to find it mocking and comforting at the same time. Now it only terrifies her.
“So?” he asks, “Whether I am real or not, it doesn’t matter, does it? I’m here, you can hear me, you can feel me.” He traces his charred fingers against her skin and Rei shudders violently, her revulsion at having his rotting, burnt cadaver touching her overpowering her sense of fear.
“And,” he whispers, “you can see me.”
Rei is unsure whether she turns around because of her own morbid curiosity or because his commanding will forces her to do so, but she cannot help herself. She lets out a cry of horror and fear and guilt at what she has done, she covers her mouth with her hand and clambers back as far away from his presence as possible, stopping only when her back knocks against her bookcase.
“Admiring your handy work?” he smiles, only it serves to make him all the more hideous. His skin is burnt to black and in between its flaky exterior is an almost neon pink ooze. Some parts of him drip away, leaving nothing but bone and others are so deformed they are no longer identifiable. “Stand up, Kamala,” he commands, and she does.
“What do you want?” she demands, fighting the urge to be sick.
“Nothing,” he says simply, “I am simply the remnants of an oath, the result of a promise made an age before.”
Rei shakes and grabs hold of her Mars henshin pen tightly when it materialises in her hand. “What are you talking about?” she whispers as her heart fills with dread. There is the hint of a memory there, which grows and fills her with sickness.
“You made a vow to me, Kamala.” His blue eyes, lidless, bore into hers. “We are one soul, joined forever, do you remember?”
She does remember, in the very back of her mind she sees the moment when they promised themselves to each other, but despite the hazy vagueness of her memories of the Silver Millennium, she knows without question that this was not how she had meant it to be.
“It always makes me laugh how life manages to surprise its victims.” He smiles and his lipless mouth pulls to reveal pus-filled gums and blackened teeth.
She cannot take it anymore, seeing him the way he is, she cannot cope. “Stop it, please,” she begs, “I will do what you want, but please change, I can’t bear you like this…” she begins to weep, unable to look.
It seems that he takes pity on her and suddenly he transforms from the hideous consequence of her power to the man she once knew. Not the young boy who she vanquished when she first awoke, not the shell who Beryl had captured, but the Shitennou he had once been, angelic and powerful, beautiful and arrogantly aware of his prowess. Her memories of him come crashing into the fore with shocking clarity. Rei did not think it was possible, but her stomach twists itself further.
“What do you want from me?” she asks him, desperate to end her torment.
“I simply want you to keep your promise,” in his current form he looks so kind, there is no trace of the monster she knows lurks within him. “Be with me always, Kamala, as you said you would.”
What he wants from her terrifies her. “I did what I had too,” she argues, “you cannot punish me like this.”
He looks at her with sympathy, “This is not revenge, Kamala,” he explains in a voice both deep and soothing. “Is it punishment to keep your word?”
“You were evil…” she tries, “You would have killed those people on the bus,” she becomes bolder as her reason begins to win out against her emotions. “You betrayed your Prince!”
He stops short at that, and his golden eyebrows crease into a furious frown. “The promise to Endymion that I broke has nothing to do with us, now does it? Breaking one oath does not extinguish the others,” he cannot contain his anger, as much as he tries. He steps closer and raises his voice, “You gave yourself to me!”
Rei flinches, uncharacteristically, at his anger and bends her head downwards. But she fights it, she fights his power, but her voice weak, “You tried to kill my princess,” she says. She dares to look up at him, “You tried to kill me.”
His reply is immediate, “I was never going to touch you.”
“Liar!” she yells.
He is unfazed by her anger and she hates it as much as she used to before. “Keep your promise, Kamala,” he says simply.
The finality of his statement hits her like a train. Suddenly, everything becomes so very crystal clear. There is no argument against his wish and she knows it deep within her soul, her word is an unbreakable cord, binding them together.
The smell is gone, or else it has penetrated her so deeply she can no longer detect it. Her eyes roam his face, they travel down his body and her resistance fails.
She is no longer afraid, she is no longer sad, she is not even sick at the idea.
Something in the back of her mind triggers, and there is a small temptation to run, run far away, the voice of someone, loving and steadfast and strong. She vaguely remembers that someone is counting on her, someone who needs her, relies on her, who does not want her to go with him.
She takes in a deep breath but very little clears.
He tilts his golden head and draws her in, holding her in an embrace and sighs into her hair. To her, wrapped in the scent of his body and the comfort of his strong arms, it feels like she has finally come home.
“I’m not an evil man, Kamala…” he looks down at her, tilting her chin up, “Stop fighting me.”
“There’s a woman in the back of my mind,” she says, “she wants me to stay.”
“Ignore her,” he commands.
And she does.
Her dark head rests on his broad chest and she breathes him in, content. But then, something else occurs to her and she opens her violet eyes and takes in her surroundings, she is in the inner sanctum of the shrine, her home, one that she shares.
Her thoughts begin to clear again, memories of her childhood, her teenage years and her young adulthood spent in this place begin to surface and the image of an aging man, diminutive but regal, gentle, loving and teasing comes to the very forefront of her thoughts. “Grandfather…” she whispers, and then Jadeite sighs again, feeling her resistance.
“Go to him if you must. Save him from our fate, then, if you need to so badly.”
“No!” she says suddenly, the thought of leaving him irrationally frightening her.
“Go,” he orders, “I am not an evil man,” he repeats, “no matter what you may think of me. He’s an innocent, save him.”
Rei pulls away, her hand lingering with his until the last moment, as if she cannot bear to be parted from him for more than a few seconds.
He lifts his head once in an encouraging nod. “I’ll still be here.” Jadeite smiles as if he is enjoying what he is going to say, “You’ll never be rid of me, Kamala.”
Rei misses the apparent joke completely, feeling nothing but a sense of forlornness. She cannot understand it, she is going to fulfil a promise made to a man that she loves desperately, they will be together, finally. It is not as if she is attached to anyone else. It is not as if she has made any other vows or oaths. Her soul is free for her to choose. There has been no man who has come close to his influence, she has been keeping her distance from other men because she has been waiting, always waiting, for him, and now, after all this time, after everything she has done against him, he still loves her… how can she not keep her promise?
Rei goes into her grandfather’s room and gently scoops him up. She carries him from his bed, his small body warm and frail-looking but heavy and solid as if there is life and strength in him yet, and for this she is immeasurably glad. His bushy brow furrows in his sleep she notices, and it makes her smile. She does not understand why she feels this way, either. He is familiar and yet not, all she knows is that he cannot go where she is going. He must not.
She takes him outside of the temple and deposits him gently on the ground, for a moment she wishes she’d brought a pillow and a blanket, the earth is too cold and hard for such an old man to be comfortable on, but it is too late, there is nothing she can do now.
She rests her henshin pen on his chest and kisses the hand she places over it.
When she goes back inside it is as if a heavy burden has suddenly been lifted and the anguish that she never knew was there is now gone. He stands in the sacred fire, amid its high, bright flames but this time he does not burn. Within her ribcage her heart soars because she knows now, finally, that the fire cannot touch him. She protects him with her love.
“Come,” he lifts a hand out to her, waiting with the most enthralling smile, “don’t resist.”
Something pulls at her suddenly, and the foot she is about to place into the burning fire pulls back sharply. There is another voice, a sweeter one than the woman before, she is light and benevolent yet sorrowful at the same time. This woman does not want Rei to leave.
Jadeite grasps at her hand. His fingers holding onto hers tightly, “Don’t listen!” His voice is raspy and harsh, as if he is choking, “Remember your promise!”
At his words she looks into his eyes and she is lost again. She cannot bear to see him in such agony, he looks as if he will die without her, as if she is his very reason for life. “Of course,” she says and she thrusts herself into his arms, her black hair surrounding him in a protective layer.
He kisses her, desperately, hungrily, with lust and love. She willingly accepts him, they are one.
Together they burn away, neither caring nor feeling the pain of the consuming flames.
Around them fire spreads, and the shrine burns.
Genre: Mild Horror? Definitely Drama...
Rating: M
Characters: Rei, Jadeite
AN: This was written for apsaraqueen...for her birthday...which was in October... so, technically this is a quarter of a year late. I am SO SORRY (better late than never, right? XD) Part of the reason why this took so long was because I wasn't happy with it, but happily, I have now figured out what was wrong and I think it's a heck of a lot better now. So enjoy! If you're curious as to why I chose a horror-ish theme, I blame Lytton ^_^ this was started waaay back in October when the horror fest thingy was going on and that girl is nothing but encouraging. Anyway, Apsara, you are one of the coolest people I have yet to meet, so this is for you. Happy VERY BELATED birthday.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning in her futon. For one blissful moment she’s unaware of the pain her head is in and she opens her eyes to the darkness of the early October morning. She shuts them almost immediately and moans as her temples pulsate. She is exhausted, as if she’d been out partying and drinking the night before, but she’d done neither. Unwilling to think more on the matter, she goes back to sleep.
Her grandfather wakes her again sometime later. When she opens her lavender eyes it is to find him holding a cup of green tea and a bowl of rice on a tray as bright sunlight streams through her room. “I was getting worried Rei-chan, you almost never sleep in. Are you feeling alright?”
She sits up carefully, annoyed at herself for having caused him concern. “I am fine, thank you. I had a bad headache this morning, I’m probably just coming down with a cold.” She offers in comfort.
“How is your head now?” He asks.
She gives him a grateful smile. “It’s much better, thank you.” She says, and then she takes a sip of her tea.
~*~
Rei wakes up the next morning to find that she is even more exhausted than the day before. Her head aches badly and her body begs for sleep but she can’t afford to spend another morning in bed. She allows herself an extra hour and sets her phone alarm, but when the shrill ring drags her back to consciousness, she feels as if she’s only just shut her eyes.
Eventually she forces herself to wake up. As she pushes herself out of her futon an image flashes through her mind. They are there for barely a second and all she sees in them is darkness. It stills her immediately, a jolt of fear pulsing once in her heart and spreading through her nerves to the rest of her body. Just as quickly as they arrive, the images are gone.
Recognising them as something potentially important, Rei attempts to focus on the vision, but try as she might she can’t recall any more detail than the quick flashes of the abyss. She sits back onto her futon and begins to meditate in an attempt to reveal more. Closing her eyes, she takes in a deep breath, but the air is scented so heavily with the sweet incense of the shrine it prevents her from concentrating, serving only to worsen the ache in her head instead of relieving it.
The ravens caw loudly outside, startling her. She gets up and walks to her window, peering out into the dawning morning. They flap erratically as they fly overhead, circling the temple and cawing with piercing voices. A sense of dread begins to seep into Rei’s system.
~*~
A week later Rei wakes and finds that her headache has returned, her jaw had been clenched tightly as she slept, she can tell from how her teeth ache, causing a build-up of tension in her temples. The source of this strain was a dream, one which she cannot remember, but one which had evidentially not been pleasant. Ignoring her pain and agitation, Rei makes her way to the sacred fire and spends the rest of the morning searching for some new enemy, for some insight into what is coming.
The fire reveals nothing.
Frustratingly, Rei leaves in the afternoon to make her shopping date with Minako. She remembers to buy a different brand of incense for the shrine. Their current one is much too thick and sickly sweet.
~*~
Rei wakes with a jolt, heaving like someone who had just been saved from drowning, as if she only just remembered how to breathe. Sweat drips from her skin, dissipating the heat and leaving her chilled. She does her best to calm her frightened body, tensing her muscles to stop them from shaking, but she only makes it worse. She looks out of the window and wishes with all her might that the ravens would stop their cawing. They must have been what had woken her from whatever nightmare was going on in her head, and for that she is grateful, but the noise they are making is now piercing through her delicate skull. She lifts her weak hand to touch her forehead, her whole body still heaving and shaking, when she notices something unusual. Instead of lifting her arm to her head, she touches her left breast instead, and traces her fingers down to her stomach, her eyes opening wide as she realises that her satin slip no longer bars her hand from her bare skin. She is naked, even the simple cotton underwear she sleeps in is gone. Embarrassment flushes her cheeks despite the fact that there is no one to see her in such a state. She pulls off the thin duvet and finds both items scrunched together by her feet. Confused and more than a little afraid, Rei quickly shoves her clothes back on and pulls out a robe from her wardrobe, doing her best to sneak outside as silently as possible.
Her phone tells her that it is two in the morning.
Shuddering violently from the cold wind which blows through her nightwear to her sweat-cooled body, she makes her way to the temple archway entrance where Phobos and Deimos circle overhead, crying out as if they’ve seen bloody murder. She is no longer shaking from fright, the cold has chased it away.
With her presence the birds calm, flying down to rest on her extended arm.
“I don’t understand what is happening,” she whispers, stroking the feathers of each raven in turn as an attempt to soothe them, “But as you can see I am fine, thanks to you both.” She gives them a smile. “Rest for now, my friends.” She lifts her arm out but they seemed reluctant to leave. “I will search the fire again tomorrow morning,” she reassures them. She shivers again as another howl of wind wraps around her, flaying her hair out. Seeing how cold she is, the ravens finally fly from her arm, landing on the window sill to her room. Understanding that they will only feel comfortable on watch, Rei nods her head in gratitude for their efforts and goes back inside.
The ravens do not move from their guarding post on her sill until the sun is at its zenith.
~*~
Rei is reluctant to wake up one night, but her consciousness lifts slowly, triggered, it seems, by actions and sounds. There is loud screaming and images of a sky on fire, the scent of metal, the feel of sweat and grime on her skin. At first these things are hazy, as if slowly coming into focus, but try as she might to avoid them, they keep becoming clearer, until she finds herself thrust into a bloody and ancient war. Someone yells her name… and then she opens her eyes.
She takes in a deep breath, unwilling to move from her position of lying on her side until she has orientated herself. She is in her room, the screams and yells are the ravens outside her window, cawing again as if they’re warding off some sort of intruder. The sun is only just peeking out, the sky a dark purple with horizontal rays of luminescent orange and pink. Odours of sweat and the tang of metal still hang in the air and she realises that it is coming from her. That thought makes her sit up and she finds that her body feels very sore. She begins to panic at that, she knows those smells, the coppery taste of blood and the musty exertions of the body. She needs to check, to see if she has somehow hurt herself in her sleep but she is almost afraid of the answer.
Her hands visibly tremor as she pulls the blanket back. She gasps at what she sees and then puts her head in her hands, relief flooding her at the cause. It is her monthly period. She works it out quickly in her head and realises that she is almost a week late, it must have been from the stress. Quickly she gets up and takes off her sheets, stumbling slightly as she moves, like a person who has been deprived of sleep with no energy reserves left. She will have to put the bedding in the washing machine before her grandfather wakes up, she doesn’t want him to see this. Then she’ll take a shower.
As Rei bundles up the covers in her hands she notices something.
There are fresh drops of blood.
She squints in the dim lighting of the sunrise and looks closer. She is sure of it because of the contrast in colour. These ones are brighter than the other stains. Another one appears suddenly, and then two more.
The top of her lip tickles.
The sheets slips through her stiff fingers as they tense at the implication. They fall to the floor with a soft but dull thump and the sound stirs her. She then raises a careful hand to her nose, as she does so, she finds the same tickling sensation is being felt in her ear. She lifts her other hand and touches her face in both places, pulling back to check if what she fears is true.
There, on the fingertips of both hands are the dark traces of blood. Terror floods through her as she runs to her vanity mirror. She pulls back just as quickly, tears filling her eyes at the sight of the red tendrils slipping from the orifices, down the sides of her porcelain cheeks and her pink lips.
She shoves her sheets into the washing machine and then runs into the shower. She calls her doctor and books an appointment for the next day and then she spends the rest of her time in front of the sacred fire, searching for something, anything.
~*~
Her grandfather notices she’s skipped breakfast and he brings it to her in her room.
He finds Rei on her laptop, thoroughly engrossed in whatever the technological thing is telling her, “What are you up to, Rei-chan?” he asks gently.
“Homework…” she lies, barely registering he’s there, “I forgot to do it last night.”
He chuckles a little, “Do they still call it ‘homework’ now that you’re in university?” he asks, finding it a little funny. But then his keen eyes catch a glimpse of the website and he frowns. “Rei-chan, what are you looking up?”
She shuts the lid down quickly and gives him her best smile, “Nothing,” she says, brushing it off, “I was just curious.”
She takes the tea he’s brought and sips it.
He leaves, worried.
~*~
Rei has arranged it so that all of her test results are to be collected and not sent home to the shrine. But she forgets to mention this to the oncologist and his secretary sends her an appointment letter.
She wakes up one morning and goes to have breakfast. Her grandfather is sitting at the table, a haggard look marring his old, refined features, he’s clutching more than holding the letter and looking at her with eyes as dark as hers are light. “Rei-chan,” his voice is a little hoarse, a little quivering, “What is going on?”
She takes in a heavy breath and sits down. “I haven’t been feeling well for the past few weeks,” she says, gently pulling away the appointment letter, “I’ve been going to a few doctors for some tests.”
“But for canc-”
“For everything,” she interrupts, reassuring him. “I’ve seen other doctors, too.”
“Is it so serious?” He would not be placated. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a distracted, and maybe a little tired,” he says, thinking back over the past weeks and wondering how he could have been so neglectful, “but you always get like that when you have your exams!”
“I promise you,” she lies again, “I’m not worried, grandfather, it’s more like a very thorough check up.”
“And what have they found?” he asks, nervous.
She gives him her most comforting smile. “So far, nothing at all. To be honest I don’t think it’s very serious, but father has been paying for private insurance, so I saw no reason not to use it.”
Her grandfather looks down at his hands, calming himself, but still not convinced. “That day you were on that laptop computer device, you were reading about the condition that… that took your mother.”
She grabs his hands in hers, holding them tight and forces him to look at her, “That is why I’ve asked for all of these tests, I want to make sure, really sure that everything is alright.”
“If it is nothing, then why have you been keeping this from me?” he asks, hurt and still untrusting.
“So far everything I’ve had has come back saying that I’m perfectly healthy, the oncologist appointment is just a follow up, he hasn’t found anything either,” she explains. “If they’d found anything wrong, even the slightest thing, I promise you, grandfather, you would have been the first person I would have told. I didn’t want to worry you over nothing. That is why I have been keeping it to myself.”
He is finally satisfied. “You must have been very scared, did you at least go with your friends?”
Rei smiles, still clutching his old, withered hands, “I didn’t want to worry them either.”
“Will you let me come to the rest of your appointments?” he asks, and his eyes plead so desperately that Rei cannot refuse him.
“Of course,” she says and he finally smiles.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning, acutely aching all over and her head throbbing. Her throat is sore and there’s a horrible taste in the back of it, sickly sweet to the point of being putrid.
She gags.
She knows now that this stench is not from the incense used at the temple and it frightens her to feel so powerless in the face of such omens.
She vaguely recognises it, as if it triggers something in the back of her mind, but she does not know what, or, she worries, I do not want to remember.
She drinks a cup of green tea to soothe and cleanse her throat and tries desperately to remember anything from her dreams, but her memories are like smoky vines which tease her, drawing her in. She knows they’re there, nestled in her brain, but when she reaches for one, her delicate fingers tracing along the twisted smoke to pull it close, she feels nothing but the air. They’re illusions, false promises. The substance of the dream is out of reach, if there is anything in it at all.
She consults the fire again, but just like the past few weeks, it shows her nothing. There is no indication of any new villain, no hint of anything wrong at all. She cannot understand it. It is as if everything she is feeling is all a lie.
~*~
Rei wakes up one morning, she is not surprised to find her body is sore, nor is she shocked when she feels a slight crustiness of dried blood in her nose and ears. Her ravens, as usual, stand watch at her window.
The doctors have revealed nothing, technically she is in the pinnacle of health, and she does her best to conceal that there is anything the matter from her grandfather - to prolong his relief as much as possible.
She spends as much time as she can in front of the fire, searching, searching, searching. She rarely goes to her classes, and when she does, she does not concentrate on them.
She is not afraid. She’s too exhausted for that.
~*~
Rei wakes up at the screeching of her ravens, she is in more pain than usual but she forces herself to get on with her day. She eats breakfast and then goes to the bathroom to take a shower.
When she removes her clothes she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her violet eyes widen and suddenly she begins to cry. She cannot take it anymore. She is sick and tired of what is happening. She stares at her reflection through the tears and her knees weaken as her whole body shakes, so she puts the toilet seat down and sits, and weeps and weeps until her eyes run dry.
When she’s finally finished she feels no better, there is no cathartic release. She is trapped.
She looks up again and examines her body properly. She is covered in bruises. Above her left breast are finger marks, and on her biceps too, as if someone gripped her terribly hard. There is one on her hipbone and a few on her inner thighs. But the bruising is deep, a purple so dark it is almost black. She notices that the prints are not particularly large… they’re almost… almost… she frowns and her dark eyebrows crinkle slightly as she brings her right hand and places it on the bruises on the top of her breast, by her heart.
They match perfectly.
She spends the day making charms and places them all over her room. She says prayer after prayer until she falls asleep.
~*~
It is not yet morning and her body hurts more than it has before, it is no longer an ache, but searing pain. She finds herself naked again, and parts of her body feel like they’ve been blistered: her neck, her breasts, her inner thighs, her stomach, as if someone has been painting her body with streaks of burning fire. She switches on the light, the charms and her clothes are shredded and strewn all over the floor. Her fingers are raw.
Her scream is stuck in her throat.
She begins to shake all over again. She does not know which is worse, a creature making these marks on her, or the fact that it forces her to do it to herself in her sleep. Because that is what this is. Without a shadow of a doubt, Rei now knows. This has to be some new enemy, some powerful creature which manipulates the mind and controls its victims in their sleep. Perhaps it feeds on terror. Perhaps it tries to wear its prey down before it attacks.
She places a salve on her burns, she sweeps away the confetti-like mess, but her body shakes and shakes. She cannot control her fear.
Rei steels herself. Her confidence returns as she makes a decision. She needs to tell the others. She will not be foolish this time, she must warn them. Things have gone on far enough, and she knows now, the limits of her own power and will.
She showers and dresses and is about to use her communicator when something occurs to her. She sits on her futon and she listens carefully. At first she hears nothing. And then, as she calms her body and rests her mind, small sounds become louder: the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen, the soft shuffling of her grandfather in his slippers, the rustling of leaves in the trees outside. Her stomach begins to turn. There is a sound missing, an important one.
Something she has not heard since the day before.
Something which had been a regular occurrence since this nightmare of hers had begun.
She throws on a coat as quickly as she is able and she rushes outside.
She searches everywhere, climbing trees like she used to when she was young, looking in bushes and even leaving the temple itself in her desperate need to find them.
She is more terrified now than she has ever been. She calls Minako in a panic. She does not make much sense, the collected reserve of the infamously composed Rei Hino has shattered.
She tells her friend everything and even though Minako has never directly been told of their real identity she seems to know anyway. She is serious and calm. She tells Rei to calm down and hangs up. Within less than five minutes she is there and she holds Rei until she stops shaking, her blue eyes are icy and cold. The others soon join them and they look for the ravens until nightfall.
Ami finds them.
They are buried under a tree in a shallow grave. There is almost nothing left of their burnt corpses.
Usagi begins to wail. Rei is too full of guilt and fear to cry. She does not understand why she feels the former but she dreads the implication.
~*~
Usagi begs Rei to leave the shrine but she will not. She does not want to abandon her grandfather to whatever it is that is haunting her at the shrine, and in order to take him with her, she would have to tell him why. She does not want to worry him. So all four Senshi insist on staying with her in the night.
They wait until Rei’s grandfather falls asleep and then Usagi transforms and uses her most powerful healing attack to purify the shrine.
They all spend the rest of the night in her room and for a moment, Rei feels happy again, reminded of the past when her friends would have sleepovers and argue over manga, boys and studying.
At first they decide to remain awake, but slowly, one by one, they all succumb to sleep.
All, of course, except for Rei.
Just as her bright violet eyes are about to close, the smell of charcoal hits her. She initially believes that her grandfather has woken and lighted the sacred fire. She gets up and heads to the room, only to find that the closer she gets, the more saccharine the scent becomes. When she enters the inner sanctum of the shrine she finds the fire is unlighted and she gags at the acrid, putrid sweetness which coats the inside of her nose and mouth and spreads down her throat.
She runs to the bathroom and vomits. There is no denying the smell, it is the burning of flesh. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and suddenly she understands.
Her friends cannot help her. This is no new enemy.
She braves the inner sanctum again, doing her best not to breathe in and lights the fire. She asks to see him but the fire only shows him when he is in flames, a burning corpse by her hand. She searches harder, she wants to see him before, when his hair was sunshine gold and he had eyes as bright as a summer sky, but the images of him are gone, they disappear and only the fire remains.
The smell becomes too intense, her eyes water and she wretches again but there is nothing in her stomach left to expel. There is a sudden chill which causes her to shudder, only she is not cold, she is burning hot. She feels feverish, like she is ill, as if she is infected.
There is a soft breath on her neck and her hair stands on end.
And then she feels him behind her.
Creeping slowly up her arm is the sensation of a flaky twig brushing against her, except that it is warm, too warm, and there is give as it presses on her skin, as if it has a molten core. Rei does not dare imagine the truth.
“Jadeite…” she whispers, her voice dry and fearful.
The breath behind her whispers in her ear, a hot body, sticky in some places, crackling and hard in others leans onto her back. “Kamala…” he whispers back.
He laughs, deep, mocking, and the fire goes out.
~*~
Rei wakes with a start. She finds that she is not alone and sees that Minako is with her, panting and holding her as if her life depended on it as they lay on the floor. She looks around and finds herself in the inner sanctum.
“You were falling into the fire…” Minako says, shaking and out of breath, “I only caught you just in time.”
Rei holds onto her friend for a long time, both women cry silently with relief.
~*~
Rei does not sleep that night and neither does Minako. Instead, they sit in silence.
Minako does not say it, but Rei can see her leader is afraid. Sailor Moon’s purification did not work. What more powerful magic is there?
None, Rei thinks and she knows that whatever she does, she must face it alone.
When the others wake up Rei lies to them. She tells them that last night, Sailor Moon’s healing attack brought out the demon. She tells them that she fought against it and that Minako saved her from death.
Everything is fine now.
Usagi begins to cry comically, clutching at her friend, upset that she was not woken when there was danger. Ami and Makoto are hesitant to believe her, but from Minako’s encouraging words and bright smile they accept it as fact and are relieved.
They enjoy a large breakfast together and spend the afternoon watching films, reading manga and acting as if they are fourteen again. Rei yells at Usagi when she spills milk on her futon and Makoto has to bake a batch of cookies before Usagi can be cheered up again.
Eventually it is time to leave and the girls get up to go. Makoto, Ami and Usagi say their goodbyes and thank Rei’s grandfather for allowing them to stay. He wishes them well and pinches their cheeks.
While they talk to him Minako’s happy features suddenly drop and she looks at Rei with anger and fear and worry. Rei is not surprised when her friend grips her arms with all the strength gifted to Sailor Venus.
“Whatever this is, I want you to come out of it alive,” she says, “You are strong. Defeat it.”
Rei wants to smile, she wishes she could make some sort of comment to lighten the mood, but there is no point. Her violet eyes look tired and afraid, she knows it. Her skin is pale and her body pumps with adrenaline at what she must do. She nods once, delicately, and then Minako leaves.
~*~
While Rei’s grandfather sleeps, she waits in her bed. She thinks about the burning corpse. She plays the moment of her awakening over and over and over again in her head. She remembers the way he looked at her, she recalls his scream as he was set on fire, his body writhing in pain until it withered into charred remains.
She forgets the elation which came with vanquishing her fist foe, the sense of homecoming when she realised who she really was. Her memory of first becoming the Senshi of Mars in this life is changed forever, and it now becomes all about him.
She thinks back to the past, hazy memories, like dreams. From there she pulls out his form, tall and handsome, strong and kind. She begins to weep… What have I done? she asks herself.
And he answers.
“Nothing you can’t fix, Kamala…”
She shudders at his voice and her old name. The rancid stench is there again, hovering around her, above her, seeping through her pores. She remembers something else about him… King of Illusions they called him. “This is not real,” she says and it all makes sense - the dreams that she cannot remember when she wakes up in the mornings, her self-inflicted pains, burns and bruises, it’s all trickery of the mind, he is not there. “This is all in my head,” she says, sitting up from her futon, but unwilling to turn and look at him.
He laughs again. It is a sound she only vaguely remembers. It is not too deep, but it is masculine and sure, she used to find it mocking and comforting at the same time. Now it only terrifies her.
“So?” he asks, “Whether I am real or not, it doesn’t matter, does it? I’m here, you can hear me, you can feel me.” He traces his charred fingers against her skin and Rei shudders violently, her revulsion at having his rotting, burnt cadaver touching her overpowering her sense of fear.
“And,” he whispers, “you can see me.”
Rei is unsure whether she turns around because of her own morbid curiosity or because his commanding will forces her to do so, but she cannot help herself. She lets out a cry of horror and fear and guilt at what she has done, she covers her mouth with her hand and clambers back as far away from his presence as possible, stopping only when her back knocks against her bookcase.
“Admiring your handy work?” he smiles, only it serves to make him all the more hideous. His skin is burnt to black and in between its flaky exterior is an almost neon pink ooze. Some parts of him drip away, leaving nothing but bone and others are so deformed they are no longer identifiable. “Stand up, Kamala,” he commands, and she does.
“What do you want?” she demands, fighting the urge to be sick.
“Nothing,” he says simply, “I am simply the remnants of an oath, the result of a promise made an age before.”
Rei shakes and grabs hold of her Mars henshin pen tightly when it materialises in her hand. “What are you talking about?” she whispers as her heart fills with dread. There is the hint of a memory there, which grows and fills her with sickness.
“You made a vow to me, Kamala.” His blue eyes, lidless, bore into hers. “We are one soul, joined forever, do you remember?”
She does remember, in the very back of her mind she sees the moment when they promised themselves to each other, but despite the hazy vagueness of her memories of the Silver Millennium, she knows without question that this was not how she had meant it to be.
“It always makes me laugh how life manages to surprise its victims.” He smiles and his lipless mouth pulls to reveal pus-filled gums and blackened teeth.
She cannot take it anymore, seeing him the way he is, she cannot cope. “Stop it, please,” she begs, “I will do what you want, but please change, I can’t bear you like this…” she begins to weep, unable to look.
It seems that he takes pity on her and suddenly he transforms from the hideous consequence of her power to the man she once knew. Not the young boy who she vanquished when she first awoke, not the shell who Beryl had captured, but the Shitennou he had once been, angelic and powerful, beautiful and arrogantly aware of his prowess. Her memories of him come crashing into the fore with shocking clarity. Rei did not think it was possible, but her stomach twists itself further.
“What do you want from me?” she asks him, desperate to end her torment.
“I simply want you to keep your promise,” in his current form he looks so kind, there is no trace of the monster she knows lurks within him. “Be with me always, Kamala, as you said you would.”
What he wants from her terrifies her. “I did what I had too,” she argues, “you cannot punish me like this.”
He looks at her with sympathy, “This is not revenge, Kamala,” he explains in a voice both deep and soothing. “Is it punishment to keep your word?”
“You were evil…” she tries, “You would have killed those people on the bus,” she becomes bolder as her reason begins to win out against her emotions. “You betrayed your Prince!”
He stops short at that, and his golden eyebrows crease into a furious frown. “The promise to Endymion that I broke has nothing to do with us, now does it? Breaking one oath does not extinguish the others,” he cannot contain his anger, as much as he tries. He steps closer and raises his voice, “You gave yourself to me!”
Rei flinches, uncharacteristically, at his anger and bends her head downwards. But she fights it, she fights his power, but her voice weak, “You tried to kill my princess,” she says. She dares to look up at him, “You tried to kill me.”
His reply is immediate, “I was never going to touch you.”
“Liar!” she yells.
He is unfazed by her anger and she hates it as much as she used to before. “Keep your promise, Kamala,” he says simply.
The finality of his statement hits her like a train. Suddenly, everything becomes so very crystal clear. There is no argument against his wish and she knows it deep within her soul, her word is an unbreakable cord, binding them together.
The smell is gone, or else it has penetrated her so deeply she can no longer detect it. Her eyes roam his face, they travel down his body and her resistance fails.
She is no longer afraid, she is no longer sad, she is not even sick at the idea.
Something in the back of her mind triggers, and there is a small temptation to run, run far away, the voice of someone, loving and steadfast and strong. She vaguely remembers that someone is counting on her, someone who needs her, relies on her, who does not want her to go with him.
She takes in a deep breath but very little clears.
He tilts his golden head and draws her in, holding her in an embrace and sighs into her hair. To her, wrapped in the scent of his body and the comfort of his strong arms, it feels like she has finally come home.
“I’m not an evil man, Kamala…” he looks down at her, tilting her chin up, “Stop fighting me.”
“There’s a woman in the back of my mind,” she says, “she wants me to stay.”
“Ignore her,” he commands.
And she does.
Her dark head rests on his broad chest and she breathes him in, content. But then, something else occurs to her and she opens her violet eyes and takes in her surroundings, she is in the inner sanctum of the shrine, her home, one that she shares.
Her thoughts begin to clear again, memories of her childhood, her teenage years and her young adulthood spent in this place begin to surface and the image of an aging man, diminutive but regal, gentle, loving and teasing comes to the very forefront of her thoughts. “Grandfather…” she whispers, and then Jadeite sighs again, feeling her resistance.
“Go to him if you must. Save him from our fate, then, if you need to so badly.”
“No!” she says suddenly, the thought of leaving him irrationally frightening her.
“Go,” he orders, “I am not an evil man,” he repeats, “no matter what you may think of me. He’s an innocent, save him.”
Rei pulls away, her hand lingering with his until the last moment, as if she cannot bear to be parted from him for more than a few seconds.
He lifts his head once in an encouraging nod. “I’ll still be here.” Jadeite smiles as if he is enjoying what he is going to say, “You’ll never be rid of me, Kamala.”
Rei misses the apparent joke completely, feeling nothing but a sense of forlornness. She cannot understand it, she is going to fulfil a promise made to a man that she loves desperately, they will be together, finally. It is not as if she is attached to anyone else. It is not as if she has made any other vows or oaths. Her soul is free for her to choose. There has been no man who has come close to his influence, she has been keeping her distance from other men because she has been waiting, always waiting, for him, and now, after all this time, after everything she has done against him, he still loves her… how can she not keep her promise?
Rei goes into her grandfather’s room and gently scoops him up. She carries him from his bed, his small body warm and frail-looking but heavy and solid as if there is life and strength in him yet, and for this she is immeasurably glad. His bushy brow furrows in his sleep she notices, and it makes her smile. She does not understand why she feels this way, either. He is familiar and yet not, all she knows is that he cannot go where she is going. He must not.
She takes him outside of the temple and deposits him gently on the ground, for a moment she wishes she’d brought a pillow and a blanket, the earth is too cold and hard for such an old man to be comfortable on, but it is too late, there is nothing she can do now.
She rests her henshin pen on his chest and kisses the hand she places over it.
When she goes back inside it is as if a heavy burden has suddenly been lifted and the anguish that she never knew was there is now gone. He stands in the sacred fire, amid its high, bright flames but this time he does not burn. Within her ribcage her heart soars because she knows now, finally, that the fire cannot touch him. She protects him with her love.
“Come,” he lifts a hand out to her, waiting with the most enthralling smile, “don’t resist.”
Something pulls at her suddenly, and the foot she is about to place into the burning fire pulls back sharply. There is another voice, a sweeter one than the woman before, she is light and benevolent yet sorrowful at the same time. This woman does not want Rei to leave.
Jadeite grasps at her hand. His fingers holding onto hers tightly, “Don’t listen!” His voice is raspy and harsh, as if he is choking, “Remember your promise!”
At his words she looks into his eyes and she is lost again. She cannot bear to see him in such agony, he looks as if he will die without her, as if she is his very reason for life. “Of course,” she says and she thrusts herself into his arms, her black hair surrounding him in a protective layer.
He kisses her, desperately, hungrily, with lust and love. She willingly accepts him, they are one.
Together they burn away, neither caring nor feeling the pain of the consuming flames.
Around them fire spreads, and the shrine burns.