The Preposterously Boring Chronicles of Charlie 2
So, in my teaser blurb at the end of my last post I promised a lot of things... But I wasn't exactly awake or sober at the time so I don't really remember most of what I was going to say. Therefore, I'll wing it. :)
I am again, neither awake nor sober, so I wouldn't expect much from this. What can you expect, though, from a 20 year old with no real responsibilities? Technically, I'm almost 21. I've just been very adamant about that fact lately. One month left. :) ...where was I?
OH! So, my teaser promised talk of 4/20. A holiday I have previously not celebrated. I,uh, I did this year. ...It was fun. I don't exactly remember many details, I just remember a general sense of mellow contentment intermixed with bouts of over the top laughter. We watched the Fox & The Hound, I remember that much. Then I think I passed out while we were watching Ninja Turtles... idk. I actually slept right through 4:20pm. But whatever, there's an unwritten rule that if you're just too stoned to be awake at 4:20, you're excused. You can't really expect stoners to NOT understand this type of problem. Plus, I was kind of excused because I woke myself up to smoke at 4:20AM, then went back to sleep. Honestly, I don't think I was sober for even a single minute that day. Like a marathon high. It was pretty nice, but I was still super mellow the next day. Just really fuckin' laid back. Like some kind of residual chill.
I also promised talk of phone companies. I don't actually care about that topic right this minute. Maybe around next paycheck I'll think about it more.
Also on the schedule is "my apparent romantic retardation." I don't really feel like bringing that up again right now. I'm in a good mood, don't wanna ruin it by thinking about things that bring me down.
The new season of Doctor Who!!! In my opinion, Doctor Who is a hideously underrated show. At least here in the US it is. I honestly don't know a single RL person who watches Doctor Who and who I can talk to about it. Craig Ferguson, my favorite late-night host, is a giant fan, and that makes me feel kind of cool. He had the new doctor on the show a while back!!! That's like scifi royalty (new blood, obviously), and they're on Craig Ferguson?! That's awesome!! Sorry, I get excited about nerd-stuff, sometimes.
Speaking of nerd-stuff (and forgoeing the menu for now), every time I see that LotR: Fellowship is on tv and I tune in, I just happen to do so at the perfect time to watch Boromir die. Why?! Why am I tortured so?? Doomed to watch my favorite character from the whole series die again and again. ...It helps that it's an awesome scene, but it still hurts.
A randomly chosen episode of BtVS? Hmm... School Hard. It's a good default to fall back on. Especially, because it includes the introduction of one of my favorite fictional characters, EVER: Spike aka William the Bloody aka William Pratt. It also has inter-action between him and my second favorite character, Xander. ...Not going into any more detail than necessary here. Let's leave it at I really like this episode for the possibilities it presents the imagination.
The actual thing I wanted to talk about!!! Finally. Concerts I'm going to. Unfortunately, I've almost run out of time, and I still have something else I wanted to get out before I retire, so. I'm ditching this line of conversation until a more convenient time comes up at which I can discuss it.
So, tonight I went to a mini-concert. It was held in an auditorium in the local library and it had four local bands, I think. A friend of mine from work, one of my only outside of work friends, is the drummer in the last band to play. He asked me, and most of the other people we work with, as well as their friends and family, to come. They wanted to pack the theater. So, planning on skipping the first two bands, I was gonna show up around 7:30/8:00pm. Instead I call another friend from work, asking if he wants to hang out, then go down there together, because I thought 'why miss those two bands?' He was going down there early anyways. When I call him, he says that we could've hung out if I'd called 10 minutes earlier, but now he's busy with some other people. Okay, that's cool, he says he'll call me in just a few about actually going down there. I end up going down there with my mom (also personally invited) and my brother and his friend. We show up, start watching the 3rd band, they're actually really good. I wasn't expecting much from a bunch of local bands, but I was really impressed with the two I saw.
Anyways, we watch the show and between bands, my friend from work (whom I'd called earlier) says he's sorry, he got stoned and forgot he was gonna call me back about going down the library together. I tell him, it's cool, I got some stuff and did the same thing, and then I forgot as well. I lied, though, I didn't forget, I actually did this pathetic 'hold on to the phone to make sure I actually get the call thing' and ...and nothing. It was pretty stupid.
To knock my self-esteem down another notch or two, when I ask my work friend what everyone's doing after the show, he says that they (he and two other guys and a girl, one of which I know, and two I'm acquainted with) are gonna help clean up, then go hang out at one of the acquaintances house. He says if he hears about anything going on he'll give me a call. Then looks at his watch, Oh! It's already 9:30, nothing's really going on tonight. I say okay, I've gotta work in the morning, I'll just go home, get stoned, and sleep. He says, oh, you've gotta work, that sucks. You should get some sleep. I agree and say bye and leave.
On my way out, I see the friend who invited me in the first place, the drummer, and go to congratulate him and say later or whatever I'm gonna do. Before I catch his attention, he starts talking to a guy who just came in about how he just missed the show and I just... brushed past and left. I don't know. I kind of felt like I was running away from the whole thing.
I'm not angry about anything. Not sure what I feel. Disappointed maybe. But is it because I wanted to do something tonight, or is it because I interpreted the fact that nothing was going on as a brush off. As a rejection. And then I see my other friend (the one I'm closer too), and I don't even initiate the contact. It's like that first rejection just destroyed my confidence for any other encounters and I ran out with my tail between my legs.
As I was leaving I was thinking stuff like, "Are they really not doing anything, or do I just make the situation awkward?" and, "Did he (drummer) see me leaving and just not care?" and, "Will he be mad that I left without saying bye or congrats or does he just not care either way?"
I think these things, then I think, "Why are you acting like such a whiny-bitch? Man-up and stop overthinking this stuff, because no one else puts this much thought into everyday human interaction." Then I think, "Shoulda just stayed in the basement in the first place. Why try? When I'll just get shut-down and end up at home, alone, watching tv in my basement? Why bother?"
So. Anyways. I've gotta work in about 6 hours, I need some sleep. I'm out-ski-doodles, you ...rapid pack-o-poodles? Whatever. Peace.
-Charlie
PS- I'd like to, once again, apologise for apparently not knowing how to work the lj-cut button. You just highlight the text you want hidden and click on the button that says "LiveJournal Cut" right? What step am I missing here?! AAAARRRRGH!! Sorry. Frustrated.