Scattered Thoughts
hmm, i havent been doing much lately, pretty much sittin in my room, playing drums, and thinking. and man, i have lots of time to think. i observer peoples lives, i look out my window and see a person and think about what their life is like, what they feel like. i read peoples livejournals and xangas and read them deeply and understand what they are like. i dont really talk much to my family or my friends at school, and by talking i mean really talking, i just talk about bs crap. like the usual hey wahts up. people probably see me as some average asian kid at school, the people that know me probably think im just some kinda dumb lazy person, doesnt really think about things, just passes thigns by, living a simple life. i act simple, becuz i think it makes others around me feel better. i act as if things arent very complicating and life is good. i act as if i have no worries, and there is nothing wrong. if this was a year or two ago, i would probably be complaining about my life, like how i dont have any close friends, or nobody really talks talks to me. how im antisocial and i hate myself, complaining about how things are at home. and whatever else i can get my teenage views on. but thats happened too many times. i know thigns are thick and complicating, but i ignore most things, i look into things but i dont really go into them. its kinda hard to say. ive been through a lot, and thats not bs, and becuz i have i am now like annoyed of it all, so instead of being all depressed and crap, i ignore it. things are hard to ignore people say. they arent. many people have problems, some worse than others, some more than others. but everyone has problems. you wont find one perfect person in your life. maybe your problems are worse than others, but u wouldnt know that would u? would the people that cry or the people that show hurt be the ones with the most pain? i dont think so. a person at school, walks around happy, u see that person talking with people, laughing, smiling. u see tons of people say hi to that person. seems like a chill person with lots of friends, this may not be the case. u cant see whats on the other side of them. or maybe u see some person crying in the hallway. or maybe u see someone walking around school by themself all the time. not talking to anyone. every one makin fun of that person. this person may be a happy person. and that popular kid u see may be the one with the major hurt filled life. but u cannot seperate them in different categories. when u see people, even if u think u know them very well, u do not. even if you live with them, you do not. even if they tell u what their problems are, you dont know. only if u are them you would totaly know. i cant organize all my thoughts together, and i forget and bring in new and old. End.