I don't think I even knew how much he meant to me......

[charlesthegnu]

Last night, Father was placed in the church for his memorial service, followed by the funeral this morning. I didn't realize quite how hard it was really going to be to see him in the casket. He looked peaceful, as if he were only sleeping. I kept hallucinating, seeing him twitch or breathe, but of course it couldn't be. I cried at his side and told him everything I wish he could have been here for and apologized for every ill thought I've ever had, and thanked him for everything he did for me in his life. Kostas and I cried together, trying to understand how this wonderful person could have been taken from us so soon. He was 55, exactly one week younger than my own father. I can't say that I'm angry, it's just so hard to wrap my head around it. I can't express in words how much this hurts.

Today, I kissed his hand and the gospel in it for the final time. I said goodbye to his earthly existence and continue to pray for his happiness in the afterlife at the right hand of God. I watched and cried as they removed the gospel and finally put the lid onto his casket. Then longed to walk alongside Kostas as he cried and took Father out of the church for the final time. Only then did it really become final.

I still half expect to see him at church this coming Sunday, but know that it cant be so. He will be with us through everything, and he will be greatly missed.

We love you Father, may your memory be eternal.