Is It Because I'm A Vampire?
The second-last ever gig ever performed by the now bygone band, The Essential Penguins, took place in Belfast's Empire Music Hall in March of 2006, and was digitally recorded by the delectably steady-handed themonkeypolice. I've uploaded some zeros and ones in an order that translates as the number, Is It Because I'm A Vampire?, to the reject bin of intertainment known as YouTube. Like the hands of a pianist playing Rachmaninoff, the video skips about a bit, but you get the horrible idea: woe-fi, with a sprinkling of macabaret. Endure!
Is It Because I'm A Vampire?
I'm in the dancehall
Looking for love
But if you can't see yourself in the mirror ball
Good looks aren't good enough
And any pale-skinned virgin
Could become my unsuspecting wife-to-be
And all I want is someone
To spend my eternal life with me
And is it because I'm a vampire
That I never get the girl?
Well maybe the day will come when I am sire
Of the greatest harem in the world
I tell the odd joke
To make them sway
But I think the pale complexion, fangs and cloak
Give me away
Must I then stalk cemeteries
Looking in every open grave for you?
We can pass the sultry summer days
In a coffin made for two
Is it because I'm a vampire
That I never get the girl?
Well maybe the day will come when I am sire
Of the greatest harem in the world