A bit more about me.
I figured I might as well share a little more information about myself.
I made this live journal account to as I said before have access to certain LJ only resources and options. This will not be like my Myspace page which I also have to update at some point. And to that end I am going to avoid and ban all political talk/posts on this account and refrain from doing so on other people's LJ in the future.
Not because I'm afraid of being made an ass of. I fuck up all the time in my life, my job and other things as well. Screwing up online is just another fuck-up for me.
So this will be my first, my last and my remotely post on this account. Those of you seeking any further posts will have to search for my myspace account.
My thoughts politically reflect my current status in life.
I presently work as a truck driver, which pays little, offers decent benefits and little opportunity or encouragement to advance further in its ranks. I have worked this job for several years now, currently while suffering a severely strained back that required physical therapy so that when I sneezed I wasn't hit with pain the likes of which I have rarely experienced. As you can tell, I work this job not for it's obvious features but so I can pursue my academic studies where I hope to major and degrees in writing, history and perhaps even science should it strike me.
Yet while I presently work in a field that is strongly Democratic in voting (that of low income) and will hopefully work in a field that is decidedly slanted towards Modern Liberalism, I am decidedly a big time or major conservative as a voter and in political thought. I think smaller government is the answer, not bigger. I don't think national health care will solve any problems and indeed may create even more massive ones, for example.
I look not to to the political dogmas of my party for reason to think this way but to the real world examples and failures. Such as Europe and Canada which do have national health-care yet have solved nothing. Indeed in many cases, the sick can't get to a doctor for questionable reasons and in the former's case, it's simply too expense or the quality of their national health care stinks (as evidenced by France where more then 70% of the population has both public and private health care).
I look to the educational system in this country which has failed on an epic scale and whose shortcomings will not ever be truly seen or measured. A system that has increased steadily in its existence in funding, scope and size, yet the answer to all of it's problems seems to be, "Give them more money, increase the funding, teachers should be paid more"..
And I don't understand why anyone would give them money to spend.
I think Gays and Lesbians should have equal right to all but at the cost of normal heterosexual people and their rights. I don't understand how a person can say with a straight face they will be beloved by all when human nature alone tells us that will never happen.
Right now though, I'm afraid. I fear for others beyond my immediate life and surroundings. I especially fear for those who curse my existence and who have cursed me on this or any other day. Not because I'm a cowardly person whose nature is to flee in the face of any kind of danger. But because even now, as confused and perhaps suspect in both intelligence to the point of being ignorant and in wisdom to where I am quite capable of forgetting directions to some place I have been hundreds of times, I fear that I am right. And that a day will come when those otherwise antagonistic or perhaps people in opposition to me, my beliefs and others like me, those people will lose all that is precious to them. Not through action or inaction of me or those who share my thoughts or way of reasoning. But because they will essentially invited in their killers, shown them their wealth, shared with them their knowledge and then be surprised when their eventually murders plunge their knives (metaphorical or otherwise) into their hearts with a smile on their face and a song on their lips.
I've sat and thought what makes me, me. I analyze and over-analyze everything from my interests in sports, to my favorite TV shows and games. Yet for the life of me, not only do I loathe mathematics, I actually dread the mere mention of it as a subject. I find people in all their variety interesting to study but I'm not at all what one would call a 'people person'. On my best days, I write essays detailing otherwise obscure subjects but I have little chance or ability to make hamburger helper without burning my kitchen down.
Though I am confused, frequently wrong, often idiotic, I remain firm in what I believe in and in myself. Perhaps though the latter will never eclipse the former or even come close.
Maybe, it is enough for me.