(no subject)
wow this sux. i havent figgured out what is wrong with rikki cuz she hasent posted and my "friend" didnt come and still thinks he can talk to me like im retarded. sometimes i hate him. i havent talked to him since like 10 last night and im not calling him. i cant. im tired of getting my heart broken and im tired of my love life. sometimes i think im actually LOOKING to fall in live and not just letting it HAPPEN with him. just because we have "past" from a while back. ive turned down some really cool guys and ive got notta for it. my ex best friend wont talk to me cus she hates him. the ppl that i hang out with or almost out to get me. they try to get me in trouble with ppl i like or just start hangin with. the only ppl im not tired of is rikki, megan, and chris. there was this guy that at first i had a crush on then i realized i loved him--as a brother or good friend, and hed tell me all this stuff about how i never annoy him and how pretty i was and all that kinda stuff. make me feel better when i was low, now, i dont even talk to him and its because i "annoy" him now. i think its because of one of my so called friends (not named) who started alot of stuff. but it may not be. but i know i didnt do anything wrong to him the only i may of done was lie about not liking my "friend" any more than a friend. now i really dont, at least not to where id date him. i mean brett hated my "friend" by the way ill just tell you my "friend" is mike. brett hated mike because hes very into his religion (like most of my good friends) and he said mike was just there for booty calls-well hedidnt get any. but bret doesnt know that cuz he wont talk to me. bret would always tell me that the majority of the friends i hung with at school had to go cuz they were all labeled bad things. im sorry but even though I dont even know why i hang with them doesnt mean ill stop. i cant. otherwise ill have no one to hang with cuz alot of ppl dont lide me cuz i dress different. ha ha ha. different, to them, is an understatement. i dont thnk i look GOTH but it is ALOT different than most. actually a really like bright colors. yellow is my fav. but oh well.