Lt. Charlene Masters, Personal Log; Stardate 2258.36
Security Access: Private
Rough Draft Message to Lt. Uhura:
I feel like I have to say something to you since I had amazing sex with your boyfriend...everything, I guess. I’m sorry. But not in the way I should be. Since I would do it again in a heartbeat, even knowing everything now, because I’m that much of a
Forget it. This is stupid and fucked up. Like anything I can say will make it better. Especially since I can’t lie about it. Damn it Charlene, you’re willing to throw all your goddamn principles out the fucking window but won’t deign to tell lies to make people feel better. You ass. Number fucking one on that endless list of what is fucked up about my life.
Things About My Life That Are Fucked Up-
1. I will fuck someone’s boyfriend, but won’t tell a lie.
2. I’m pretty sure my mother hates me. I don’t know exactly what it is she thinks I’ve done to her, but I am fairly certain she would be okay with never speaking to me again. Unless I decided to start wearing dresses and getting married and popping out babies, since she seems to value that above all else.
3. I hate my older brothers Darren and Reese. I guess you can only be tortured so much as a child before it just gets to be too much and you don’t even know who these people are.
4. Bobby will never speak to me again. And I probably deserve it.
5. David still fucking calls me sometimes and Bobby won’t listen to me about it.
6. I still have a small lump on the back of my head.
7. I’ve begun taking out my anger issues on my underlings.
8. My bottom lip is utterly destroyed and will continue to be because I can’t stop frickin’ chewing on it.
9. I’m fairly certain that my Daddy is the only friend I have and he is not so good about correspondence. Plus, I think Bobby’s been working on him, since Daddy sold my truck and he wouldn’t do that without outside influence. Fucking ass.
10. I am most probably becoming the person Bobby always said I was. More specifically- ‘You think with your crotch and let the chips fall where they may, Charlie. You don’t give a flying fuck about other people.’
11. The amount of time I spend ruminating about the bruises on my hip is obscene.
12. I don’t hate Spock even a little bit, even if my brain tells me a really, really should.
13. This is a state that would probably continue even if he told me he was married with three kids, his wife was dying of cancer and he liked punching cripples and puppies.
14. This probably makes me a bad person.
15. My sex drive has gone from 0 to infinity and I think about it all the time. As much as my brothers did when they were teenagers.
16. The only thing I’m totally sure of right now is that I love my job and I’m good at it.
17. I slept with someone else’s boyfriend, betraying a girl I was starting to consider a friend.
18. I don’t regret it.
19. I want to do it again.
20. So badly, I’ve started to plan reasons to run into him that are ridiculous since my whole life is down in the core.
21. I will never be able to tell Uhura I’m sorry and completely mean it.
22. I know this makes me a bad person.
23. I can’t make myself care about that.
Security Access: Shipwide
Has anyone seen my tricorder? I left it up on the Level H catwalks above the warp core, went back to get it a shift later and it had disappeared. If whoever picked it up could bring it to my station, It’d be greatly appreciated.
Also, sorry for being a little rageful the past few days. I’m getting better. Just do yourselves a favor a cut a bit of a wide path for a little longer. And don’t do shit in my core that makes it break. Because then my minimal sympathy for you goes down the tubes.
Rough Draft Message to Lt. Uhura:
I feel like I have to say something to you since I had amazing sex with your boyfriend...everything, I guess. I’m sorry. But not in the way I should be. Since I would do it again in a heartbeat, even knowing everything now, because I’m that much of a
Forget it. This is stupid and fucked up. Like anything I can say will make it better. Especially since I can’t lie about it. Damn it Charlene, you’re willing to throw all your goddamn principles out the fucking window but won’t deign to tell lies to make people feel better. You ass. Number fucking one on that endless list of what is fucked up about my life.
Things About My Life That Are Fucked Up-
1. I will fuck someone’s boyfriend, but won’t tell a lie.
2. I’m pretty sure my mother hates me. I don’t know exactly what it is she thinks I’ve done to her, but I am fairly certain she would be okay with never speaking to me again. Unless I decided to start wearing dresses and getting married and popping out babies, since she seems to value that above all else.
3. I hate my older brothers Darren and Reese. I guess you can only be tortured so much as a child before it just gets to be too much and you don’t even know who these people are.
4. Bobby will never speak to me again. And I probably deserve it.
5. David still fucking calls me sometimes and Bobby won’t listen to me about it.
6. I still have a small lump on the back of my head.
7. I’ve begun taking out my anger issues on my underlings.
8. My bottom lip is utterly destroyed and will continue to be because I can’t stop frickin’ chewing on it.
9. I’m fairly certain that my Daddy is the only friend I have and he is not so good about correspondence. Plus, I think Bobby’s been working on him, since Daddy sold my truck and he wouldn’t do that without outside influence. Fucking ass.
10. I am most probably becoming the person Bobby always said I was. More specifically- ‘You think with your crotch and let the chips fall where they may, Charlie. You don’t give a flying fuck about other people.’
11. The amount of time I spend ruminating about the bruises on my hip is obscene.
12. I don’t hate Spock even a little bit, even if my brain tells me a really, really should.
13. This is a state that would probably continue even if he told me he was married with three kids, his wife was dying of cancer and he liked punching cripples and puppies.
14. This probably makes me a bad person.
15. My sex drive has gone from 0 to infinity and I think about it all the time. As much as my brothers did when they were teenagers.
16. The only thing I’m totally sure of right now is that I love my job and I’m good at it.
17. I slept with someone else’s boyfriend, betraying a girl I was starting to consider a friend.
18. I don’t regret it.
19. I want to do it again.
20. So badly, I’ve started to plan reasons to run into him that are ridiculous since my whole life is down in the core.
21. I will never be able to tell Uhura I’m sorry and completely mean it.
22. I know this makes me a bad person.
23. I can’t make myself care about that.
Security Access: Shipwide
Has anyone seen my tricorder? I left it up on the Level H catwalks above the warp core, went back to get it a shift later and it had disappeared. If whoever picked it up could bring it to my station, It’d be greatly appreciated.
Also, sorry for being a little rageful the past few days. I’m getting better. Just do yourselves a favor a cut a bit of a wide path for a little longer. And don’t do shit in my core that makes it break. Because then my minimal sympathy for you goes down the tubes.