Mar 01, 2010 09:52
I have been given the opportunity to have bariatric surgery. My grandmother is offering to pay for me to have surgery, because of my health issues, the diabetes, joint problems, all of it. Fear hits me…and to be honest, im not sure how I feel. I want it, trust me I want it. Having wanted it for along time, I always thought I would jump right on it, and be all gung ho for it. I am going to go through with it, I am just afraid, not of the surgery its self, to be honest, im not sure what im afraid of.
No, im not afraid of loosing the weight, im afraid of how im going to feel after surgery. Im also quite sure I don’t want lap band, just the idea of a foreign object in there is kind of freakishly strange for me. The options I have here locally are gastric bypass and lap band. If I go to Portland I can have what my friend gail had, the gastric sleeve with a duodenal switch. Personally, I would like to stay local, mostly because of school, I can only be out for two weeks max.
My husband is wonderfully supportive, but has made it very clear that this is my choice, and that I am not to be doing this for him, but for my self. That is very true, and I don’t want to do it for him, this is all about me. Just like his chest surgery. I have to do this for my self, and I want it, to become healthier, not to be in pain all the time, and to have more self confidence. I will admit, over the last year or so, more in the last 6 months, I have had a major boost of self confidence. I feel pretty go about my self, and im not afraid of my body any more, for the most part. Im just not happy about my weight.
Any ways, ive got Smallville on and a husband who wants to snuggle. I will write more as I need to, cuz I have a feeling I will need to do a lot of blogging about this as it happens.
weight,
surgery