(no subject)
Oops, I've been totally ignoring livejournal lately. I've just been really busy.
I got a job with TUSD, working as a 1:1 in the autistic classroom. I've been assured that I'd be working with a very good team despite the challenge. In all honesty I'm a little worried but I want to do this. I need to work on my communication and interpersonal skills, and this will be a very good classroom for me. Plus it's full time and comes with benefits. I can't pass it up!
I'll be in Tucson in a few weeks, which is kind of insane because I decided to leave less than a month ago. I've been running around trying to get stuff done - seeing awesome people one last time, selling anything I can't bring, sending books through the mail. I still have to put a bunch of stuff up on craigslist and get rid of anything I don't want and can't give away/sell. I'm glad I found a job so quickly because it solves that problem and I don't have to worry about it. I don't really have to worry about money either, which feels really good to say after a year and a half of financial hell.
I'm really excited to start my life over again but really sad about the cool people I'm leaving behind. Everyone seems genuinely sad to see me go, a reaction I didn't exactly expect. Reality has been very iffy up here, and I've checked out more than a few times. I'm surprised I made an impact on people, and I'm a little sad I can't return the sentiment as easily. It's not that I don't care about my friends, it's that I can't feel the emotion as fully as I want to, and so my reaction is less than stellar. Oh well, I'll write them all amazing letters to let them know how much they mean to me.
I've been having a lot of miscommunication with my mom. This isn't new, but for once I'm speaking up instead of just hiding my true feelings. She gets upset because I don't understand her, but I work hard to stay calm and express myself and things turn out alright. I just wish she would grow the fuck up. She is such a child and I'm getting sick of her not realizing it. I don't want to teach my mother something she should have taught me, but that's my lot in life I guess. I'm trying hard to stop feeling sorry for myself about it.
I'm going to start working through this anxiety workbook that my mom lent me. I am so sick of that overwhelming feeling of dread I get any time my life seems a bit out of control. Maybe it'll be the last step on my road to healing? I'd like to think so.
My body feels better lately too, and I'm very grateful. I was terrified for a very long time that I would never feel good ever again, and I'd have to live the rest of my life in constant pain. Chronic pain makes me bitchy and depressed, and I'm ridiculously glad to not have to deal with it as much anymore. It gives me hope. More hope than you can possibly imagine.
I finally got around to watching The Big O, this super weird/awesome anime that combines robots and philosophical issues. Oh Japan, how I love you. I've been meaning to finish the series for years now, and I'm glad to finally do so. It's so good! I'm also reading an amazing book called The World Without Us, which discusses environmental issues and examines our impact on the planet. I love stuff like this, and it's getting me excited about working in forestry/conservation again. Now I just need to get in shape :D
I got a job with TUSD, working as a 1:1 in the autistic classroom. I've been assured that I'd be working with a very good team despite the challenge. In all honesty I'm a little worried but I want to do this. I need to work on my communication and interpersonal skills, and this will be a very good classroom for me. Plus it's full time and comes with benefits. I can't pass it up!
I'll be in Tucson in a few weeks, which is kind of insane because I decided to leave less than a month ago. I've been running around trying to get stuff done - seeing awesome people one last time, selling anything I can't bring, sending books through the mail. I still have to put a bunch of stuff up on craigslist and get rid of anything I don't want and can't give away/sell. I'm glad I found a job so quickly because it solves that problem and I don't have to worry about it. I don't really have to worry about money either, which feels really good to say after a year and a half of financial hell.
I'm really excited to start my life over again but really sad about the cool people I'm leaving behind. Everyone seems genuinely sad to see me go, a reaction I didn't exactly expect. Reality has been very iffy up here, and I've checked out more than a few times. I'm surprised I made an impact on people, and I'm a little sad I can't return the sentiment as easily. It's not that I don't care about my friends, it's that I can't feel the emotion as fully as I want to, and so my reaction is less than stellar. Oh well, I'll write them all amazing letters to let them know how much they mean to me.
I've been having a lot of miscommunication with my mom. This isn't new, but for once I'm speaking up instead of just hiding my true feelings. She gets upset because I don't understand her, but I work hard to stay calm and express myself and things turn out alright. I just wish she would grow the fuck up. She is such a child and I'm getting sick of her not realizing it. I don't want to teach my mother something she should have taught me, but that's my lot in life I guess. I'm trying hard to stop feeling sorry for myself about it.
I'm going to start working through this anxiety workbook that my mom lent me. I am so sick of that overwhelming feeling of dread I get any time my life seems a bit out of control. Maybe it'll be the last step on my road to healing? I'd like to think so.
My body feels better lately too, and I'm very grateful. I was terrified for a very long time that I would never feel good ever again, and I'd have to live the rest of my life in constant pain. Chronic pain makes me bitchy and depressed, and I'm ridiculously glad to not have to deal with it as much anymore. It gives me hope. More hope than you can possibly imagine.
I finally got around to watching The Big O, this super weird/awesome anime that combines robots and philosophical issues. Oh Japan, how I love you. I've been meaning to finish the series for years now, and I'm glad to finally do so. It's so good! I'm also reading an amazing book called The World Without Us, which discusses environmental issues and examines our impact on the planet. I love stuff like this, and it's getting me excited about working in forestry/conservation again. Now I just need to get in shape :D