Bob

Apr 22, 2008 09:25

Every once in a while you meet a man who makes an impression on you for many years.  Perhaps not a great teacher per se... maybe just a solid soul who inspires by way of extraordinary humanity.  Bob Rawlinson could make that kind of impression on people.  He has on me.

Yorkshiremen have a particular character - or so it's said.  They're earthy and terribly funny - particularly if you can understand them (it takes practice).  They take poorly to big-city bullshit and pretense.  They're practical men, which I confess I've always found attractive.  The reputation they have for being doltish or simple is one held only by Londoners.  Yorkshiremen are the kind of men you want protecting you in battle, building your castle, defending your home and, on occasion, writing your romantic novels.  The educated Yorkshireman will never, ever look down on his fellows who are not men of letters.  He prizes their qualities.  They are mens' men, and as such - quite a nice change from much of what passes for manhood in England.  (Must be the viking blood... who knows).

Bob spent much of his life as an engineer in Africa.  Giant infrastructure projects were his stock in trade.  He'd deftly manage acres of manpower, soil, rushing waters, African weather and strange leaders - working either for the locals or the colonials.  He did the job, with great humour and diplomacy.  He managed rarely if ever to be disliked by his peers or bosses.  Bob would be the sort of man you can leave out in the bush and say "look, I'll have three hundred men here in six months - do us a small town, will ya?"  And off he'd go.

On the journey his steady, brainy, funny wife Judy (Jude) remained at his side.  She bore two sons in Africa, amidst pretty freaky conditions.  But as Jono, the eldest said, it was a great life in many respects.  Apart from the bugs and the malaria of course.  Judy nearly saw her younger son die from an awful fall.  It's said her hair turned white overnight from panic.  Perhaps it did, I can't confirm this.  Judy says it's true - and she's every bit as intolerant of bull as her husband.

They eventually made their way back to the suburbs of London.  Then, in retirement, to Yorkshire where I visited them.  Bob was the same as always - obsessed with his cars.  He loved to show visitors how he could tear around the countryside in his souped-up Saab.  He'd actually done the Paris-Dakar I think.  Or something close to it.  He never said no to an adventure.

Then one of life's more personal adventures landed at his feet.  After years of struggle, a son came to him and said - hey dad, I'm gay... sorry.  Bob's response wasn't remotely macho, however.  But it was very Yorkshire.  "You thought I would be surprised, hey?"  I think Judy said something like "No shit sherlock..."  And on they went, as a happy family.

Bob and Jude visited me in San Francisco a few years back.  I saw a side of Bob I hadn't seen before.  He rang up his son and said "Now go on, how's Jack then?"  Jack was his son's steady boyfriend.  "Now make sure he takes care of that cough... and you tell him I said hello, alright?"  (try to imagine this with a bit of Yorkshire singsong in the voice)...   Bob was positively happy, nay glowing, over his son's happiness.  He was PROUD of his son, and he let him know it.  Damn... now THAT is a model father.

Bob has made friends in every continent, inspired confidence in everyone who worked with him, and kept the love and loyalty of a devoted family.  I could have kissed him many times, but didn't.  Would have liked to in fact.  It's too late now.

Malaria and a bad heart got the better of him.  Only in his sixties, too...  Puttering about making a gin and tonic, he fell - died instantly they say.  Typical Bob.  No bullshit.  Bum heart, plop.  Carry me off, then...  Jude let him lay there on the floor, by the drinks table, until his sons could come and pay their respects.  Then eventually they carted him off.

They broke the mold with Bob.  I expect he's teaching God a think or two about how to run heaven.  Not in a pushy way, mind... just a nudge.  "Y'know, God... that pearly gate would do much better if you had it on a solar-powered switch system... you should let me take a look at it."

God love 'im.
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