For Richard....and because it's been a while
okay..let's see. I have been done with my first year of college for the past three days. It feels good to be done.
I got a job at Kohls again for the summer. They were very happy to have me come back. That's always good.
Bridgette will be here in two weeksish! FINIALLY gosh I miss her
Richard is in Hawaii and I will be joining him there soon! YEA
Danny comes home next sturday, not this one...Im looking forward to that
Jacob leaves in 20 days for Japan and the USS Lincoln
So the past month and a half have been so weird for me. I dated four guys since Jake and I broke up this last time and I have come to the conclusion that I am only rebounding and I HATE dating.
I WANT JACOB MCCORMICK LACEY. He has one fault and that is that he does not show emotions and he has no feelings. (You cannot understand what I mean by this unless you know him personally) now, this is either A) he really doesnt have them and he is not kidding when he tells me he doesnt think about things and he doesnt care either way or B) he does but he wantd to be completely like his father and not have them or C) he is embarrassed to have them since his male role model doesnt have them.
~I want it to be he is just scared to open up and my hope was that he finally would and there were times when we hd the deepest most amazing talks and moments but 80% of the time there was only surface emotions and such....I wanted deeper from him more often. But that is selfish. I honestly think he is just like his dad and after speaking with Leanne and Allen (his parents who I adore) and Tyler (his brother that I adore) about the situation and what happened and what I am feeling and doing and wanting I realize that Jake IS perfect for me. He is everything I need minus that one little detail and I dont need that from him. He shows me he loves me and cares for me without that detail. I never doubted that Jacob loves (LOVED????) me. I just hope I can talk to him before he ships out or when he gets back....I am not saying I am going to ask for a relationship out of him, that would be nice, but I want to appoligize to him atleast and see what he feels if anything.
Well, I should get back to packing....nite
I got a job at Kohls again for the summer. They were very happy to have me come back. That's always good.
Bridgette will be here in two weeksish! FINIALLY gosh I miss her
Richard is in Hawaii and I will be joining him there soon! YEA
Danny comes home next sturday, not this one...Im looking forward to that
Jacob leaves in 20 days for Japan and the USS Lincoln
So the past month and a half have been so weird for me. I dated four guys since Jake and I broke up this last time and I have come to the conclusion that I am only rebounding and I HATE dating.
I WANT JACOB MCCORMICK LACEY. He has one fault and that is that he does not show emotions and he has no feelings. (You cannot understand what I mean by this unless you know him personally) now, this is either A) he really doesnt have them and he is not kidding when he tells me he doesnt think about things and he doesnt care either way or B) he does but he wantd to be completely like his father and not have them or C) he is embarrassed to have them since his male role model doesnt have them.
~I want it to be he is just scared to open up and my hope was that he finally would and there were times when we hd the deepest most amazing talks and moments but 80% of the time there was only surface emotions and such....I wanted deeper from him more often. But that is selfish. I honestly think he is just like his dad and after speaking with Leanne and Allen (his parents who I adore) and Tyler (his brother that I adore) about the situation and what happened and what I am feeling and doing and wanting I realize that Jake IS perfect for me. He is everything I need minus that one little detail and I dont need that from him. He shows me he loves me and cares for me without that detail. I never doubted that Jacob loves (LOVED????) me. I just hope I can talk to him before he ships out or when he gets back....I am not saying I am going to ask for a relationship out of him, that would be nice, but I want to appoligize to him atleast and see what he feels if anything.
Well, I should get back to packing....nite