...a veritable font of depressive weekend funerary goodness
The fact that we have to die, I believe, is not nearly so bad as the fact that we must outlive those we care for.
I feel more grief and sorrow for those left behind then the one who died- because who knows... the Christians might be right. There could be a heaven. Or, like I believe, reincarnation. At any rate, I'm pretty sure that once the body ceases to function, there isn't much to feel sorry for on the part of the dead person.
That being said.. here are some of Laura's observations on funerals.
1) Funerals are one of the only two times you can be wearing a black suit and tie and not look like a gangster (the other time, being at a wedding).
2) The best buffets happen after funerals. Unfortunately, you're usually too drained and emotional to eat them.
3) One floral arrangement is lovely. Fifteen floral arrangements will dominate any small room, and smell overpoweringly perfumed.
4) You will inevitably be seated between two people you don't recognize at all at least once during any funerary occasion.
5) It is perfectly alright for old men in uniform to put on their thick glasses and aim shotguns "somewhere away from the crowd and in the air" at funerals. Its called "a military salute". Any other time, its called "a very bad idea".
6) People look ugly when they cry. Watching people crying makes other people cry. If you don't cry at a funeral, people stare at you and wonder why.
7) Preachers will make at least one religious reference that most people will fail to understand, or find humorous. Or both. Laughing at funerals makes people stare at you.
8)No matter how many funerals you have been to, each one is still a bit shocking. "Hey... we can -die-. " Someday, I'll be the one in the casket. There's no if about that.
9) Funeral directors invariably look creepy. And have this practiced "sad smile" look.
10) You will wonder, at least once, what the name of the device is that lowers the coffin into the ground. (Cask-o-Matic came to mind, but I'm sure its wrong).
All I can say is, I am in need of much sleep and to see my own folks. My parents ae actually older than Aus's grandpa was. That makes me very worried.
I feel more grief and sorrow for those left behind then the one who died- because who knows... the Christians might be right. There could be a heaven. Or, like I believe, reincarnation. At any rate, I'm pretty sure that once the body ceases to function, there isn't much to feel sorry for on the part of the dead person.
That being said.. here are some of Laura's observations on funerals.
1) Funerals are one of the only two times you can be wearing a black suit and tie and not look like a gangster (the other time, being at a wedding).
2) The best buffets happen after funerals. Unfortunately, you're usually too drained and emotional to eat them.
3) One floral arrangement is lovely. Fifteen floral arrangements will dominate any small room, and smell overpoweringly perfumed.
4) You will inevitably be seated between two people you don't recognize at all at least once during any funerary occasion.
5) It is perfectly alright for old men in uniform to put on their thick glasses and aim shotguns "somewhere away from the crowd and in the air" at funerals. Its called "a military salute". Any other time, its called "a very bad idea".
6) People look ugly when they cry. Watching people crying makes other people cry. If you don't cry at a funeral, people stare at you and wonder why.
7) Preachers will make at least one religious reference that most people will fail to understand, or find humorous. Or both. Laughing at funerals makes people stare at you.
8)No matter how many funerals you have been to, each one is still a bit shocking. "Hey... we can -die-. " Someday, I'll be the one in the casket. There's no if about that.
9) Funeral directors invariably look creepy. And have this practiced "sad smile" look.
10) You will wonder, at least once, what the name of the device is that lowers the coffin into the ground. (Cask-o-Matic came to mind, but I'm sure its wrong).
All I can say is, I am in need of much sleep and to see my own folks. My parents ae actually older than Aus's grandpa was. That makes me very worried.