Randy Travis Drinks Cold Beer
It amazes me that I can be so down sometimes. I think it's because I'm going through a huge growing process. A big part of it is having to accept that many Wisconsin friendships have died over the time I went to college, and most of my college friendships aren't strong enough to last, minus Matt. Like I know I will always love these people but sometime even talking to them is taking. I feel like they think they have a plethera of adult knowlegde to give me, I'm not at that point in my life. I feel judged a lot.
Then I look at what I have here. Chris and Rick are two of the most amzing people I've ever met. When I don't see their smiles, or just encouragement for like a week I actually miss them. I'm still way freaked out about driving Rick's truck yesterday. But they brighten up my life. After~all I'm only a dork because of genetics.... I do feel surrounded by guys, which honestly drives me nuts sometimes. Then I look at ______ (the boy that I like) and I'm thankful that God has brought someone that special into my life. Even if we don't end up dating I'm very thankful that God has formed people to be that kind and compassionate. And that fun. Every time I see him he brightens up my life.
My life's been really unstable lately, but It's getting better. I'm only 21, I've moved away from my family, the neices, brothers sisters, mom, dad that I adore. I'm finding out who I am when I don't have to be strong for anyone else. I only dreamed of being where I am at 21, never really believed that it would actually happen. It's funny, I realized that all my current dreams for myself have come true and I need to make a new set of goals for the next few years. I have future dreams but nothing for now. Like I'm thinking about dating _____ if it actually works out.
Sometime I think I might have a lot more growing to do before I can get there. A relationship, ya know. I need to talk to Matt and really figure out where I stand. Why Matt, he's the Christian guy~friend that I've known the longest and he's probably my best friend too.
I guess a huge goal right now is to become fun again, to enjoy life again. To breathe, instead of concentrating so hard that I can't breathe. To do little things like seeing a play, or hanging out with friends.
Saturday night I went to see As you like it at the Shakespeares Festival. It was so fun. I felt like I could see a little more of David in his actors setting. It was fun to watch. Juggeling Jeff was uber cool. The play was very well done too. Afterwards I got to jumpstart somebody's car. Way exciting!!!! I love jumping cars! Donno why...