(no subject)
You know...I've never really liked Thanksgiving. Not even a little bit. And this Thanksgiving did nothing to change my mind about that. I can't go home anymore because I don't have a bed. So I have to go to my sister's. Which is fine, but...not at all the same. Not the going home is all that great. Anyway, I get to my sister's, and apparently I'm moving in now. Is this news to all of you, because it was news to me. I knew my stuff was being TEMPORARILY stored there. But the rumor is that I'm moving in. I heard my niece tell her dad "Yeah. She's practically moved in now." No. I have an apartment. An apartment that holds all of my stuff that I actually wear and use. The stuff there, with the exception of my furniture, is all useless crap that I keep telling them to get rid of. I'm gonna have to make a decision soon about what I'm going to do when I graduate. Otherwise I'm going to be living off one of my sisters for the rest of my life. I so don't want that. There's a lot of things I don't want. I just wish I knew what I wanted. Well...that's inaccurate. I know what I want; I guess I just wish I could get it. But it's not happening. At least not when I want it to. Blah. You know...I barely remember last Thanksgiving at all. The food was crap, but that's it. I don't remember the one before that. But the one before that sucked majorly, too. I think I'm going to become Chandler. I am boycotting Thanksgiving. Yep. That's what I'm doing.
Actually...this whole year has majorly sucked. Let's do a recap, shall we? Hmmm...
1) 4 potential (at one time or another) relationships completely lost...some by choice, some by fate
2) Countless friends lost in one way or another
3) Tons of money used to...what did I use it for? I swear. It's just gone.
4) Brad and Jennifer/Nick and Jessica...why can't people just be happy?
5) And sadly, I have lost my ability to be happy no matter what is going on. It's not like I was ever some Pollyanna type, but I was pretty positive. Ha. "Was" being the key word. It's hard to stay happy when you feel like you do everything you're supposed to do and you still can't get what you want...even though other people can be stupid and do everything wrong and everything seems to get handed to them on a silver platter. It starts to really take a toll after a while.
Maybe I could boycott the year 2005. But that would be pointless after December 31.
Livejournal is a weird thing. I see people post about how crappy things are and whatnot. And then people comment and tell them how they'll always be there for them and they love them and blah blah blah. I even see people actually say those thing to people's faces. I think it's crap. I'm sure we all mean well, but I have always found that when I try to talk to people about deep stuff (which isn't very often), I get tuned out. And I can tell that other people are tuned out. I'm not saying that I'm any better, but I hope that I am. I kind of doubt it, though.
I don't know when I'll go home again. When I'm around my parents and my sisters, I feel like I'm just there. Just there to be there. I think my sisters were mad when I left this morning because they were about to move furniture. Well...no one told me that until I was packed and ready to go. And we hadn't done anything all morning. Of course with them, my only options are scrabble and puzzles. I don't really like either. But I don't want to be the one keeping them from having fun. Whatever.
If anyone made it all the way through this, I'm very impressed. You should get an award. We'll discuss it if you like.
Actually...this whole year has majorly sucked. Let's do a recap, shall we? Hmmm...
1) 4 potential (at one time or another) relationships completely lost...some by choice, some by fate
2) Countless friends lost in one way or another
3) Tons of money used to...what did I use it for? I swear. It's just gone.
4) Brad and Jennifer/Nick and Jessica...why can't people just be happy?
5) And sadly, I have lost my ability to be happy no matter what is going on. It's not like I was ever some Pollyanna type, but I was pretty positive. Ha. "Was" being the key word. It's hard to stay happy when you feel like you do everything you're supposed to do and you still can't get what you want...even though other people can be stupid and do everything wrong and everything seems to get handed to them on a silver platter. It starts to really take a toll after a while.
Maybe I could boycott the year 2005. But that would be pointless after December 31.
Livejournal is a weird thing. I see people post about how crappy things are and whatnot. And then people comment and tell them how they'll always be there for them and they love them and blah blah blah. I even see people actually say those thing to people's faces. I think it's crap. I'm sure we all mean well, but I have always found that when I try to talk to people about deep stuff (which isn't very often), I get tuned out. And I can tell that other people are tuned out. I'm not saying that I'm any better, but I hope that I am. I kind of doubt it, though.
I don't know when I'll go home again. When I'm around my parents and my sisters, I feel like I'm just there. Just there to be there. I think my sisters were mad when I left this morning because they were about to move furniture. Well...no one told me that until I was packed and ready to go. And we hadn't done anything all morning. Of course with them, my only options are scrabble and puzzles. I don't really like either. But I don't want to be the one keeping them from having fun. Whatever.
If anyone made it all the way through this, I'm very impressed. You should get an award. We'll discuss it if you like.