& a world with no more night,
i'm falling in love with the phantom of the opera soundtrack all over again haha. i think i have music moods. like sometimes i prefer a genre/group of songs over the rest, and other times i abandon them and prefer others.
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emotion is a weird thing. i think sadness is the most interesting? one out of them. how it can trigger a sense of humour and laughter in seemingly no-joke situations. being able to pass off as being capricious/frivolous/vivacious/trigger-happy, literally. induced happiness maybe? i guess facades are easy to put up and keep up after a while. compartmentalize. being one person here, and another elsewhere. maybe, being the person people want you to be? or being that person because you wouldn't be accepted nor seen the same way otherwise. conformity haha.
sometimes it's easier to keep things in than letting them out. but sometimes even if you wanted to let things out, you can't. even if you ignored the fact that people may not be comfortable with it, there might not be anything substantial to let out? feelings aren't tangible. which makes them so hard to hold on to, i guess. are (good) friends tangible?
and then there's the obvious side of sadness. which has so many extents too. from the mildly sad but can still smile and it's just a bad day, to the sad where people worry and ask if you're okay, or try to cheer you up with hugs etc. what if...it just happened that no one noticed the vacant stares out the window, or cleverly, well-disguised tears welling up in eyes? then there's the sudden sadness which creeps up on you and strikes when you least expect it - walking past a busstop, listening to a meaningless song etc.
some people have it so easy? it seems like...everything's going right for them and no matter what obstacle in their path it's like, their obstacles are minor and easily overcome. it just seems to be so smooth sailing you wonder why couldn't you have had just a teeny weeny bit of their 'luck', or at least to have that one thing going well like you've always wanted. how do you talk to people like them? it's like an in-your-face reminder that they have so much more going right, and nothing going wrong, but it's not their fault. argh i feel so guilty for even thinking this.
but there's always someone else in the world who is prob feeling exactly the same... or people, friends who have always been there, and will always be, just waiting for you to let them in, waiting for you to realize you're not alone, and that they'd do anything to help. or even worse, who may inadvertently have been hurt. i guess looking at things from different angles helps a bit?
but the one person who can understand it best is always the closest to us - Him in our hearts.
--
occasionally it's easy to let go of yourself completely and be absorbed in something, but then no one belongs outside themselves. maybe that's why movies are so popular, especially ones with happy endings, or meaningless chick flicks? i want to watch a movie nowwww.
i hate falling ):
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." - Proverbs 4:23
--
emotion is a weird thing. i think sadness is the most interesting? one out of them. how it can trigger a sense of humour and laughter in seemingly no-joke situations. being able to pass off as being capricious/frivolous/vivacious/trigger-happy, literally. induced happiness maybe? i guess facades are easy to put up and keep up after a while. compartmentalize. being one person here, and another elsewhere. maybe, being the person people want you to be? or being that person because you wouldn't be accepted nor seen the same way otherwise. conformity haha.
sometimes it's easier to keep things in than letting them out. but sometimes even if you wanted to let things out, you can't. even if you ignored the fact that people may not be comfortable with it, there might not be anything substantial to let out? feelings aren't tangible. which makes them so hard to hold on to, i guess. are (good) friends tangible?
and then there's the obvious side of sadness. which has so many extents too. from the mildly sad but can still smile and it's just a bad day, to the sad where people worry and ask if you're okay, or try to cheer you up with hugs etc. what if...it just happened that no one noticed the vacant stares out the window, or cleverly, well-disguised tears welling up in eyes? then there's the sudden sadness which creeps up on you and strikes when you least expect it - walking past a busstop, listening to a meaningless song etc.
some people have it so easy? it seems like...everything's going right for them and no matter what obstacle in their path it's like, their obstacles are minor and easily overcome. it just seems to be so smooth sailing you wonder why couldn't you have had just a teeny weeny bit of their 'luck', or at least to have that one thing going well like you've always wanted. how do you talk to people like them? it's like an in-your-face reminder that they have so much more going right, and nothing going wrong, but it's not their fault. argh i feel so guilty for even thinking this.
but there's always someone else in the world who is prob feeling exactly the same... or people, friends who have always been there, and will always be, just waiting for you to let them in, waiting for you to realize you're not alone, and that they'd do anything to help. or even worse, who may inadvertently have been hurt. i guess looking at things from different angles helps a bit?
but the one person who can understand it best is always the closest to us - Him in our hearts.
--
occasionally it's easy to let go of yourself completely and be absorbed in something, but then no one belongs outside themselves. maybe that's why movies are so popular, especially ones with happy endings, or meaningless chick flicks? i want to watch a movie nowwww.
i hate falling ):
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." - Proverbs 4:23