I've got nothing to say, but it's okay *Good Morning, Good Morning, Good...*
Well, I'm back with some more tasty tidbits of knowledge from "Don't be a Bobblehead," and then I'll tell you about Tea with Tammy (during which only Malina actually drank tea.) BTW, the lecturer's email was esaias@compuserve.com. Don't spam him please.
Pointing of eyes--You don't need to say where the main character's eyes are pointed; you can tell that by what s/he is seeing. You may, however, have the main character notice that another character is looking in a certain direction and turn to look there as well. The word "glance" seems to have lost its meaning in the mists of time. A glance BOUNCES. You may have heard the phrase "a glancing blow"? It means that it didn't do much damage, because whatever you were hitting was stronger than what you were hitting it with, and thus the laws of physics tell us it bounced off. A glancing look is much the same: a quick dart of the eyes in one direction or another, often nonchalantly. You don't say, "He glanced quickly at his watch" and then proceed to describe the watch for 3 paragraphs. He was obviously not glancing at it if he is noticing all these things. Another "eye/looking" nitpick: floating body parts. You can't cast your eyes to the floor. They would inevitably bounce (or glance). Your eyes don't wander around the room; once removed, they don't go back in your head. That's just how it works. If you must say this sort of thing, word it differently.
"Spoonful by spoonful"--for some reason, people like to describe their characters eating something while carrying out dialogue, specifically porridge/oatmeal, because presumably it was the blandest thing they could think of and the scene is also bland. Please, please, PLEASE don't describe how one eats a bowl of oatmeal spoonful by spoonful. Don't say, "he dipped his spoon gently into the bowl." Don't say she slurped it. Don't tell us how it dribbled down his chin as he made idle chatter. And especially don't tell us that when she laughed it flew out of her nose. It's dull--well, maybe the part where it comes out of the nose isn't--but there's only so much you can say about eating oatmeal. Or anything. We ALREADY KNOW all about oatmeal, unless we haven't eaten it, in which case we don't care. End of story.
Also, a note I thought of: Please don't write food porn, no matter HOW hungry your character is. We don't want to hear about the food-obsessed author's cinnamin bun fetishes. Don't say, "Her breath quickened as the slice of steak neared her mouth." REALLY don't say, "She sucked the tip of the strawberry, tasting its crimson life fluid" (Eye of Argon! lol) "and felt herself succumb to the richness of its seductive flavor." WAAAAY TMI.
Repetitive sentence structures: The reason why these appear, the lecturer theorized, is that the author is writing the characters doing something exceedingly boring, or at least using uninteresting verbs, and hope to make it more exciting by putting 2 verbs in one sentence. "He stood up and turned." "She sat down and closed her eyes." Over and over and OVER. It gets really really boring. They come in clusters. Avoid them at all costs. Well. Almost all costs. I have to admit, I use them fairly often, and I have nothing to defend myself with other than this: English is a language meant to be used. A little of everything in moderation is perfectly healthy.
Grimaces--the lecturer had quite a lot to say on this particular subject. It's an extremely lazy word, and because it can be interpreted in so many ways, it also has very little meaning, other than that it usually means a facial reaction to something unpleasant. It may also be a POV violation, because, again, the main character will not see themselves grimacing, even if they know they are doing it. Here's the solution: never use this word except to describe gargoyles. (Clever. I take my hat off to the lecturer.)
Anachronisms--these happen quite a lot in alternate history and time travel scenarios. Don't have stuff that shouldn't exist if something in the past changed to make them NOT exist. Don't have Mexico be Spanish-speaking if the French took it over first. Don't have people going, "Okay, okay! Gimme a sec!" in Medieval Europe. Useful: the Oxford English Dictionary includes the original meaning of all the words included. "Fag" used to mean a bundle of sticks, for example, but now we take it to mean something quite different. (The same thing can be said of "gay" and "queer". Anyone else noticing a stupid and predjudiced pattern?)
Compulsive modification--adverbs and adjectives are sometimes sorely overused in an attempt either to sound more sophisticated or simply because they can't think of a better word. Again, I have a weakness for using adverbs. But I don't do this:
"You have a lovely shop," he said admiringly, scratching his large, red, pimply nose.
"Why, thank you George," she replied fawningly, clasping her long-fingered, pale, thin hands together passionately.
It's all clogged up, as you can see. Use adverbs and adjectives sparingly. Don't put three long, annoying, overly descriptive adjectives before every noun, and don't modify every verb. It ends up sounding ridiculous.
Moon muddle--this occurs most in Sci-Fi, and occasionally in alternate Fantasy worlds: it's extremely cliche to have 2 moons. Don't do that. You can go without, you know. Tides aren't essential to every world. You could even have three, or--God forbid--one. People also tend to forget that the moon is not always visible at night, and not always INvisible during the day. And you just don't get two full moons only a week apart. Realistically anyway. But then again, this IS a fantasy/sci-fi thing. Whatever.
Fight scenes--It's a fact of life that you can't--just can't--dodge a laser beam/bullet because, theoretically, as soon as you've seen it it's hit you. Speed of light thing, y'know. If your character is psychic, we can let it go. But here's another thing: when the villain is lying on the ground? He can't kick our hero in the chin, unless he has just bent down to inspect the villain's boots. Or if he has REALLY long legs, or if the hero is a midget. Which isn't entirely impossible. In any case, if you want accurate fight scenes, either sketch them out with stick figures, or better yet, get real people to act it out for you. It will drastically improve the realisticness of the fight.
Pack animals--if the knight in shining armor goes out in the woods with his best buddy Lightning the horse, he's not going to wear his armor the whole time unless he's planning on meeting up with the Dragon as soon as he enters the forest. (In which case it wouldn't be much use anyway, unless it was magic armor.) And who will carry the food? And the tent? And the horse feed? Horses can't live off of grass. Sorry to kill your common misconception. If they're going to be working out carrying a guy on their back--one in armor no less, along with food and whatever else--they need oats and grains, energy food, just the same as people.
On to Tammy!
www.tamorapierce.com - Here you can find out new stuff about Tammy and her books, as well as a link to her online store at www.cafepress.com, with totebags, t-shirts, and caps with numerous quotes emblazoned on them.
We talked mostly about who inspires her characters. Here's a tasty tidbit--Tris from Winding Circle is Tammy herself. She is book-reading, animal-loving, bespectacled, red-headed--she even has been accused of making it rain (we asked her if she had tried lightning, and she said yes, but that hadn't worked as well.) We also learned some about Beka Cooper, the ancestor of the Cooper in Alanna's books. The first book is "Terrier," because she never lets go. It is the first book Tammy has tried to write in journal format. It comes out in October. The next one is called "Bloodhound" because you can't shake her from the trail, I think. And now I'm going to get pizza. Talk to y'all lata!
Pointing of eyes--You don't need to say where the main character's eyes are pointed; you can tell that by what s/he is seeing. You may, however, have the main character notice that another character is looking in a certain direction and turn to look there as well. The word "glance" seems to have lost its meaning in the mists of time. A glance BOUNCES. You may have heard the phrase "a glancing blow"? It means that it didn't do much damage, because whatever you were hitting was stronger than what you were hitting it with, and thus the laws of physics tell us it bounced off. A glancing look is much the same: a quick dart of the eyes in one direction or another, often nonchalantly. You don't say, "He glanced quickly at his watch" and then proceed to describe the watch for 3 paragraphs. He was obviously not glancing at it if he is noticing all these things. Another "eye/looking" nitpick: floating body parts. You can't cast your eyes to the floor. They would inevitably bounce (or glance). Your eyes don't wander around the room; once removed, they don't go back in your head. That's just how it works. If you must say this sort of thing, word it differently.
"Spoonful by spoonful"--for some reason, people like to describe their characters eating something while carrying out dialogue, specifically porridge/oatmeal, because presumably it was the blandest thing they could think of and the scene is also bland. Please, please, PLEASE don't describe how one eats a bowl of oatmeal spoonful by spoonful. Don't say, "he dipped his spoon gently into the bowl." Don't say she slurped it. Don't tell us how it dribbled down his chin as he made idle chatter. And especially don't tell us that when she laughed it flew out of her nose. It's dull--well, maybe the part where it comes out of the nose isn't--but there's only so much you can say about eating oatmeal. Or anything. We ALREADY KNOW all about oatmeal, unless we haven't eaten it, in which case we don't care. End of story.
Also, a note I thought of: Please don't write food porn, no matter HOW hungry your character is. We don't want to hear about the food-obsessed author's cinnamin bun fetishes. Don't say, "Her breath quickened as the slice of steak neared her mouth." REALLY don't say, "She sucked the tip of the strawberry, tasting its crimson life fluid" (Eye of Argon! lol) "and felt herself succumb to the richness of its seductive flavor." WAAAAY TMI.
Repetitive sentence structures: The reason why these appear, the lecturer theorized, is that the author is writing the characters doing something exceedingly boring, or at least using uninteresting verbs, and hope to make it more exciting by putting 2 verbs in one sentence. "He stood up and turned." "She sat down and closed her eyes." Over and over and OVER. It gets really really boring. They come in clusters. Avoid them at all costs. Well. Almost all costs. I have to admit, I use them fairly often, and I have nothing to defend myself with other than this: English is a language meant to be used. A little of everything in moderation is perfectly healthy.
Grimaces--the lecturer had quite a lot to say on this particular subject. It's an extremely lazy word, and because it can be interpreted in so many ways, it also has very little meaning, other than that it usually means a facial reaction to something unpleasant. It may also be a POV violation, because, again, the main character will not see themselves grimacing, even if they know they are doing it. Here's the solution: never use this word except to describe gargoyles. (Clever. I take my hat off to the lecturer.)
Anachronisms--these happen quite a lot in alternate history and time travel scenarios. Don't have stuff that shouldn't exist if something in the past changed to make them NOT exist. Don't have Mexico be Spanish-speaking if the French took it over first. Don't have people going, "Okay, okay! Gimme a sec!" in Medieval Europe. Useful: the Oxford English Dictionary includes the original meaning of all the words included. "Fag" used to mean a bundle of sticks, for example, but now we take it to mean something quite different. (The same thing can be said of "gay" and "queer". Anyone else noticing a stupid and predjudiced pattern?)
Compulsive modification--adverbs and adjectives are sometimes sorely overused in an attempt either to sound more sophisticated or simply because they can't think of a better word. Again, I have a weakness for using adverbs. But I don't do this:
"You have a lovely shop," he said admiringly, scratching his large, red, pimply nose.
"Why, thank you George," she replied fawningly, clasping her long-fingered, pale, thin hands together passionately.
It's all clogged up, as you can see. Use adverbs and adjectives sparingly. Don't put three long, annoying, overly descriptive adjectives before every noun, and don't modify every verb. It ends up sounding ridiculous.
Moon muddle--this occurs most in Sci-Fi, and occasionally in alternate Fantasy worlds: it's extremely cliche to have 2 moons. Don't do that. You can go without, you know. Tides aren't essential to every world. You could even have three, or--God forbid--one. People also tend to forget that the moon is not always visible at night, and not always INvisible during the day. And you just don't get two full moons only a week apart. Realistically anyway. But then again, this IS a fantasy/sci-fi thing. Whatever.
Fight scenes--It's a fact of life that you can't--just can't--dodge a laser beam/bullet because, theoretically, as soon as you've seen it it's hit you. Speed of light thing, y'know. If your character is psychic, we can let it go. But here's another thing: when the villain is lying on the ground? He can't kick our hero in the chin, unless he has just bent down to inspect the villain's boots. Or if he has REALLY long legs, or if the hero is a midget. Which isn't entirely impossible. In any case, if you want accurate fight scenes, either sketch them out with stick figures, or better yet, get real people to act it out for you. It will drastically improve the realisticness of the fight.
Pack animals--if the knight in shining armor goes out in the woods with his best buddy Lightning the horse, he's not going to wear his armor the whole time unless he's planning on meeting up with the Dragon as soon as he enters the forest. (In which case it wouldn't be much use anyway, unless it was magic armor.) And who will carry the food? And the tent? And the horse feed? Horses can't live off of grass. Sorry to kill your common misconception. If they're going to be working out carrying a guy on their back--one in armor no less, along with food and whatever else--they need oats and grains, energy food, just the same as people.
On to Tammy!
www.tamorapierce.com - Here you can find out new stuff about Tammy and her books, as well as a link to her online store at www.cafepress.com, with totebags, t-shirts, and caps with numerous quotes emblazoned on them.
We talked mostly about who inspires her characters. Here's a tasty tidbit--Tris from Winding Circle is Tammy herself. She is book-reading, animal-loving, bespectacled, red-headed--she even has been accused of making it rain (we asked her if she had tried lightning, and she said yes, but that hadn't worked as well.) We also learned some about Beka Cooper, the ancestor of the Cooper in Alanna's books. The first book is "Terrier," because she never lets go. It is the first book Tammy has tried to write in journal format. It comes out in October. The next one is called "Bloodhound" because you can't shake her from the trail, I think. And now I'm going to get pizza. Talk to y'all lata!