I don't write it here anymore because I'm not sure it even helps. I feel like my life is plagued by disappointments and malcontent, where elation is but a moment in a century of time. I'm just not sure if I'm even capable of being happy anymore ( Read more... )

I wish I had someone to talk to, I still feel like I don't. I feel like my contentment and happiness only happens sparingly, but I guess things are better than before. I've noticed this cyclical pattern in my life of having good friends for a few months...and then it falls apart and I meet new people. I thought it was happening again this summer ( Read more... )

I've been here almost a month, I've been okay up until now, though mostly bored. But at this point, I can't help but feel alone. I don't have many friends anymore...home or anywhere. I feel that people judge me based on my past and have these preconceived notions in their mind about me before I say a word. I don't really know if this is true, ( Read more... )

I wonder. I wonder about my life and whether there is something I'm doing that makes me suffer more than others. Is it my denunciation of God? Do I need to just embrace him(or her, I'll try to be "PC") and my life will turn around? I've heard it suggested before. Open your heart to God and he will bring you through ( Read more... )

I feel like I have these self-realizations quite often now. Epiphanies of sorts. I could probably make a list of these break-throughs which all will be published in the near future. (Not.) But anyway, my most recent self realization is about maturity. I've realized that most people now are really immature. This isn't a shot at anyone in ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what to do anymore. I keep waiting for things to get better, but mostly they stay the same. I keep waiting for some one to come along, change my outlook on life, maybe just to find some one who cares about me. I feel as if no one does. What do I need in my life? Religion? I feel so lost and alienated from the people around me.

20 years wasted.

I have real trust issues. I didn't realize how bad it was, but when I constantly think of worst case scenarios of betrayal that even I know are completely irrational, it must be rock bottom. I can't even control it anymore, I just secretly think everyone is only here to hurt me.

I feel horrible. Every past decision seems to have lead me further and faster to failure. Home was great, I cam back feeling replenished. But a week later, I feel more empty than I have in awhile. Home is a tease. It gives me expectations and hopes of a life I wish I had. But along with the return to the state capitol comes a return to my ( Read more... )

What a nice sentiment. Not. I think it's pretty funny, though. It's like our wife will only kiss you if you buy them diamonds. I think about that every time I watch that commercial, how ridiculous their whole slogan is.