"the little things"
random bullshit that's been going through my head, mostly all female and dating related... but anyway... my thoughts...
essentially, i miss those days back quite a while ago when i was really romantic, i loved the ultra mushy stuff, and i was really willing to go all out to prove that i really cared about a girl, i did the flowers, the cooking dinner, the stuffed animals, jewelry, and just other random cute things, just to show my girl that I'm going the extra inch to prove that i care... I'm still all about that, i just need the opportunity...
which brings me to my next thing... i saw Christi tonight, she's a little nuts, but i love the girl, she's a genuine sweetheart, and though nothing truly came of us, she was the first person to ever give me a stuffed animal, or flowers, and she always showed up to surprise me and show me how much she cared... that's what it's all about, "the little things"... that's what makes a relationship strong... it's like building a huge mansion, a beautiful work of art, and forgetting the nails... it'll look good from the outside, but once the wind blows, that fucker is falling down...
i think i know part of my problem about finding a girl, or even really going after one, sometimes i think I'm just not ready yet, since the whole beth relationship went to hell, and sometimes i still think that's part true, but in reality, i don't think that's the major concern... every time i see a girl who i might be interested in, I'm afraid of saying that i have an interest to anyone, because either they won't approve, or they'll joke about it, so i guess I'm just self conscience about what my friends will think about whatever girl i start seeing... I've always been someone odd about being like... yeah i hooked up with this girl, or i dated that girl, especially if it wasn't long, because there's so much controversy and bullshit you could say from the outside, not being in the situation... she's ugly, she's too tall, she's too skinny, she's too fat, she's not for you, she's too young, she's too old, she's too crazy, she's too boring... aren't i supposed to be the judge of this?... problem is i don't feel that i am, i should, but I'm still more worried about the support from my friends...
i wanna meet a girl, and feel like i can talk to her, or at least i want the butterflies that comes with it, right now, the only girls in my life, have been friends, or i feel like we've ventured too far into friend land... i used to always work my relationships out of friendships first, but i don't know what happened... now i just feel like... it can't change... and i kinda don't like that...
i was talking with Marie after work tonight at Applebees about a lot of stuff, and this entry is mostly what my mind led to... specifically what she mentioned that really triggered me to want to do a journal entry is about how people don't respect when other people are in relationships, if I'm into a girl, and i find out she has a boyfriend, whatever... she's taken, i back off... i don't want some dude trying to step on my toes when i have a girl, so i have to give him the same respect... and the girl the same respect at the same time... she is with him cause she's chooses to be, if she doesn't want to be with him she would get rid of him, and then we can talk... and another reason is then say for instance you wind up dating a girl who you pulled away from her man, then you're dating, and she is hanging out with some guy who they both say they're just friends... now do you believe her? because that's how you got her... and at the same time, if you do, why should you believe her... that's how she got with you... it's almost the same as a girl cheats on her boyfriend with you, then you two start dating... she's already cheated on a boyfriend in the past, why should you trust her, what makes you any different?
essentially, i miss those days back quite a while ago when i was really romantic, i loved the ultra mushy stuff, and i was really willing to go all out to prove that i really cared about a girl, i did the flowers, the cooking dinner, the stuffed animals, jewelry, and just other random cute things, just to show my girl that I'm going the extra inch to prove that i care... I'm still all about that, i just need the opportunity...
which brings me to my next thing... i saw Christi tonight, she's a little nuts, but i love the girl, she's a genuine sweetheart, and though nothing truly came of us, she was the first person to ever give me a stuffed animal, or flowers, and she always showed up to surprise me and show me how much she cared... that's what it's all about, "the little things"... that's what makes a relationship strong... it's like building a huge mansion, a beautiful work of art, and forgetting the nails... it'll look good from the outside, but once the wind blows, that fucker is falling down...
i think i know part of my problem about finding a girl, or even really going after one, sometimes i think I'm just not ready yet, since the whole beth relationship went to hell, and sometimes i still think that's part true, but in reality, i don't think that's the major concern... every time i see a girl who i might be interested in, I'm afraid of saying that i have an interest to anyone, because either they won't approve, or they'll joke about it, so i guess I'm just self conscience about what my friends will think about whatever girl i start seeing... I've always been someone odd about being like... yeah i hooked up with this girl, or i dated that girl, especially if it wasn't long, because there's so much controversy and bullshit you could say from the outside, not being in the situation... she's ugly, she's too tall, she's too skinny, she's too fat, she's not for you, she's too young, she's too old, she's too crazy, she's too boring... aren't i supposed to be the judge of this?... problem is i don't feel that i am, i should, but I'm still more worried about the support from my friends...
i wanna meet a girl, and feel like i can talk to her, or at least i want the butterflies that comes with it, right now, the only girls in my life, have been friends, or i feel like we've ventured too far into friend land... i used to always work my relationships out of friendships first, but i don't know what happened... now i just feel like... it can't change... and i kinda don't like that...
i was talking with Marie after work tonight at Applebees about a lot of stuff, and this entry is mostly what my mind led to... specifically what she mentioned that really triggered me to want to do a journal entry is about how people don't respect when other people are in relationships, if I'm into a girl, and i find out she has a boyfriend, whatever... she's taken, i back off... i don't want some dude trying to step on my toes when i have a girl, so i have to give him the same respect... and the girl the same respect at the same time... she is with him cause she's chooses to be, if she doesn't want to be with him she would get rid of him, and then we can talk... and another reason is then say for instance you wind up dating a girl who you pulled away from her man, then you're dating, and she is hanging out with some guy who they both say they're just friends... now do you believe her? because that's how you got her... and at the same time, if you do, why should you believe her... that's how she got with you... it's almost the same as a girl cheats on her boyfriend with you, then you two start dating... she's already cheated on a boyfriend in the past, why should you trust her, what makes you any different?