The Future
I know I'm not old. So many would scoff at a 21 year old even thinking as such, and I'm sure 10, 20, 30 years down the line, I'll be laughing at my 21 year old self for thinking such a thing.
I really can't help but feel that way though.
I'm entering my senior year of college and it's quite scary for several reason. For one, it really doesn't feel like it was all that long ago that I was a senior in high school, wondering what the heck I was going to do after I left. But what really scares me is that my freshman year of college seems like yesterday. Really, it does. I feel like I just entered the University and have a crapload of time ahead of me-only I don't. This may very well be my last year here if I choose to go to graduate school somewhere else.
What do I do then? The "future"-where I get a job, live on my own, etc. seemed so far away back when I began my college career. Now it's nearly here. I'm left with the realization that I only have about two years of "school" left before I'm expected to start my life and get a job. I wonder if I'll feel lost. Part of me, part of my successes has always been school-based. It's never really been a struggle for me to attain good grades, get into good schools and all that-I don't know if that will exactly translate into a professional career.
My brother once said something that I thought was hilarious at the time, but it really hit me when I thought about it. Not too long ago, I showed him an old picture of himself when he was little, sitting on top of some pumpkins. He remarked, "That's when I had no worries."
It seemed silly to hear a 13 year old say that, but I often find myself looking back at old things from years past, whether they be drawings, websites, journals, forum posts, etc. and reminiscing about the "simpler times." Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive them (I began my "online life" at 11, so I've got about 10 years of material floating around the net..).
While the entry may seem depressing-it's not. I'm really just wondering where the time went. I'm afraid of "growing up" yet I'm looking forward to it as well. I'm itching to spread my wings and fly, but I can't help looking down at the ground far, far, below me and feeling a bit apprehensive about that first leap.
I really can't help but feel that way though.
I'm entering my senior year of college and it's quite scary for several reason. For one, it really doesn't feel like it was all that long ago that I was a senior in high school, wondering what the heck I was going to do after I left. But what really scares me is that my freshman year of college seems like yesterday. Really, it does. I feel like I just entered the University and have a crapload of time ahead of me-only I don't. This may very well be my last year here if I choose to go to graduate school somewhere else.
What do I do then? The "future"-where I get a job, live on my own, etc. seemed so far away back when I began my college career. Now it's nearly here. I'm left with the realization that I only have about two years of "school" left before I'm expected to start my life and get a job. I wonder if I'll feel lost. Part of me, part of my successes has always been school-based. It's never really been a struggle for me to attain good grades, get into good schools and all that-I don't know if that will exactly translate into a professional career.
My brother once said something that I thought was hilarious at the time, but it really hit me when I thought about it. Not too long ago, I showed him an old picture of himself when he was little, sitting on top of some pumpkins. He remarked, "That's when I had no worries."
It seemed silly to hear a 13 year old say that, but I often find myself looking back at old things from years past, whether they be drawings, websites, journals, forum posts, etc. and reminiscing about the "simpler times." Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive them (I began my "online life" at 11, so I've got about 10 years of material floating around the net..).
While the entry may seem depressing-it's not. I'm really just wondering where the time went. I'm afraid of "growing up" yet I'm looking forward to it as well. I'm itching to spread my wings and fly, but I can't help looking down at the ground far, far, below me and feeling a bit apprehensive about that first leap.