amnesia
A lot and everything is new. I tried out Arkansas-- freaking hated the place. Now I'm crashing in Milwaukee with Mikey. It's an okay situation. I'd like to get out of it asap because it isn't an environment that's very healthy. Kid in a candy store kind of thing. I'm not myself anymore. No amount of drugs can ever help you escape yourself, but it's tempting, and hard to cut.
If you're ever hungry, go raid Einstein Bagels. The dumpster, that is. We jacked about 100 delicious bagels (still warm!) and we've been distributing and munching happily. Who says you can't survive with no money? I've been completely broke for 2 months now and I'm somehow still alive. It's creative problem solving, and putting yourself in some uncomfortable situations.
I miss Bekka and Ron and it was really good to hang out with them last night. I really appreciate how openminded they are. My normal crowd loves to debate out of their asses about any and all topics. That becomes extremely draining after awhile; constantly on the defensive. But that's what's nice about Bekka and Ron. If they disagree, they will talk about why, and explain, and we can take turns, and expand our conversations. The act of arguing doesn't implicitly have a negative connotation. Well, it doesn't have to, anyway.
I've got an interview for a big timer job on Monday. The jobs pretty fucking ironic when you look at my life, to be honest. Good for a chuckle. It's the equivalent of like, a blind man working at Lenscrafters, or something.
I had a dream and fell in love with her all over again.
She treats me poorly and doesn't care if I live or die.
I've spent 2 years regretting that we never worked out.
Far too long.
I guess I just feel she's the only person that could ever come close to understanding me; the only person I could ever show myself to.
Maybe it's in vain.
I don't even want to date her anymore.
I have no romantic feelings whatsoever.
It's just this fucked up nostalgic longing.
She made me feel like no one else has and I'm afraid to let that go.
*shrugs* just shoot me.
Someone had too much time on their hands....
If you're ever hungry, go raid Einstein Bagels. The dumpster, that is. We jacked about 100 delicious bagels (still warm!) and we've been distributing and munching happily. Who says you can't survive with no money? I've been completely broke for 2 months now and I'm somehow still alive. It's creative problem solving, and putting yourself in some uncomfortable situations.
I miss Bekka and Ron and it was really good to hang out with them last night. I really appreciate how openminded they are. My normal crowd loves to debate out of their asses about any and all topics. That becomes extremely draining after awhile; constantly on the defensive. But that's what's nice about Bekka and Ron. If they disagree, they will talk about why, and explain, and we can take turns, and expand our conversations. The act of arguing doesn't implicitly have a negative connotation. Well, it doesn't have to, anyway.
I've got an interview for a big timer job on Monday. The jobs pretty fucking ironic when you look at my life, to be honest. Good for a chuckle. It's the equivalent of like, a blind man working at Lenscrafters, or something.
I had a dream and fell in love with her all over again.
She treats me poorly and doesn't care if I live or die.
I've spent 2 years regretting that we never worked out.
Far too long.
I guess I just feel she's the only person that could ever come close to understanding me; the only person I could ever show myself to.
Maybe it's in vain.
I don't even want to date her anymore.
I have no romantic feelings whatsoever.
It's just this fucked up nostalgic longing.
She made me feel like no one else has and I'm afraid to let that go.
*shrugs* just shoot me.
Someone had too much time on their hands....