Wouldn't

[chaotictheorist]

It wouldn't be so bad if I were there.
I feel I made a mistake and now
Now I'm not there when you all need me.
I was selfish and let a dream cloud my mind.
What do I have now that I didn't back home?
Debt?
After everything that has happened.
I just want to give up and come home.
I feel so bad now that I'm not there when you need me.
I'm so sorry.
I thought I would free and would be loved.
But I am alone here.

I just wish I had someone here to comfort me.
I really need a hug and someone to hold me while I cry.
I feel so bad for what has happened.
I keep wanting to break down but there's no one here
No one to pick up the pieces that fall when I shatter.
I don't want to lose either of you.
I want to help but I am so very far away.

I just want to cry.
Maybe in the shower,
At least then I won't be able to tell the tears,
from the water on my face.