Comments | chaoticidealism: You're Out of Control!

chaoticidealism

You're Out of Control!

Jan 17, 2011 14:30

I have the emotional control of a six-year-old. Fortunately, I also have the emotional maturity of an adult.

Yes, they're different things.
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ext_395668 January 18 2011, 05:55:27 UTC

Normally I concede to your personal experience just as I would expect someone to accept my intimate knowledge of boxing to provide me with a high level of expertise about the sport and necessary skill set needed to be competitive. But in light of my conversation with a friend today, I am questioning whether or not you can control being in a situation where a meltdown may occur ( ... )

ext_395668 January 18 2011, 09:52:31 UTC

A problem I have with emotions is that I don't know what I am supposed to feel eg if someone laughs at me, am I supposed to laugh along too or should I feel insulted? Same if someone makes a rude remark, or is it rude? I don't know, so I tend to do nothing at the time but go away and try to figure it out, often asking numerous other people for the correct interpretation. Also if I know the person, I try to take their past behaviour into account to form a likely judgement, but when I try to explain to them why I have made the judgement I did, I get accused of bearing grudges or bringing up things that are not relevant. When I am extremely sleep deprived I lose my inhibitions ( like now) I say whatever pops into my mind, but this can backfire. I almost never cry because I'm not sure what the point of that is. I do worry a lot though.

chaoticidealism January 18 2011, 16:09:50 UTC

Yeah, it's difficult. If you ever figure out when teasing is supposed to be friendly and when it's not, please tell me, because I haven't got a clue either...

ext_395668 May 12 2011, 13:26:05 UTC

Generally I assume it's friendly if it's coming from someone who is a friend, who does not otherwise appear angry or upset with me. Otherwise, I tend to assume it's someone being mean. But I try not to show that, really, because I used to get in big trouble for crying because someone picked on me, when it was "obvious they were only joking". Once I even got detention, because they thought I was actually trying to get some poor kid in my class in trouble, when everyone around knew it was just a joke (besides me).

ehrenyu January 18 2011, 22:13:47 UTC

The biggest mistake you can do when dealing with judgment calls is to tell the NT in question how and why you made your judgment. Typically they will take personal offense to it because they believe they are a different person now than when they did that "stupid thing" or they were in a "different mood" or some other illogical excuse. If you want to talk it over with someone, ask another NT who is completely uninvolved what they think if you don't have someone immediately in mind to talk to. But this is a tricky situation since there's absolutely no one-size-fits-all response.

My best is advice is to try to find an NT who you can trust, who is very understanding, and is able and willing to try to explain things.

chaoticidealism January 18 2011, 16:08:51 UTC

You are right: You can only anticipate so much. The things I do to deal with emotional overexpression are not perfect solutions--it's why I mention the necessity of learning to apologize and make it right when you do end up embarrassing yourself or hurting someone else. Sometimes it's very difficult to evade. Most of the time, it isn't ( ... )

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