Feb 27, 2014 12:39
Sleep disorders seem to be common for autistics. Insomnia, funky sleep-wake cycles, completely unpredictable sleep cycles, extreme night-owlishness... you name it, we've got it.
I've never had insomnia more than briefly (thankfully!), but I do have an unpredictable sleep cycle and my depression tends to have a seasonal component--it's worst when I haven't been getting sunlight. I also have sleep paralysis episodes a couple of times a week. Sleep paralysis happens because your body paralyzes your skeletal muscles while you're dreaming to stop you from acting out your dreams. Wake up too quickly, and they may still be paralyzed. Most people seem to be quite unnerved by sleep paralysis.
Is it odd that I don't find my sleep paralysis episodes to be frightening at all? I've had them since I was a teen, and from the beginning I just thought, "Hmm... my body is still asleep." And it takes a while to figure out how to move. That's all. It never frightened me because I never experienced it as "Oh, noes, I can't move!"; it's more like, "Welp, looks like I'm not quite awake yet. Might as well lie here for a while." Sometimes I can open my eyes; sometimes not. It never lasts more than a few minutes, and it just feels like my body is too heavy to move and it doesn't make sense to bother trying. Or maybe like gravity got about ten times stronger. I dunno. It's not a particularly weird sensation; it's probably what your body feels like while you're asleep, if you were awake to feel it.
I also get sensations from my physical body that filter into my dreams. If I'm not deeply asleep, I will feel tired within the dream. That's because I'm getting messages from my body, which of course is asleep.
And I've had lucid dreams since before I can remember--those are just dreams where you know you're dreaming. I've gotten rather proficient at controlling the dreams. I can go where I like, do what I like. I'm practically always capable of things like telekinesis and flight. The trouble with lucid dreams, though, is that of course your brain is producing the dream--so things only exist when you pay enough attention to them and imagine them in enough detail, and hold them in your mind with enough constancy. When you're asleep, your logic isn't working very well, and you tend to lose focus easily; it's like ADHD and off your meds, only more so. Still, I can say, "Tonight when I go to sleep I'll fly to the Sun," and about half the time I'll be able to do it that night. The other half of the time, I'll manage it within the week. Lucid dreams aren't a sleep disorder, but they're an indication that I tend to be hyper-alert, even during sleep. My brain can manufacture quite a lot of detail, including things that you're not "supposed" to be able to do while you're dreaming, like reading text and experiencing taste, touch, sound, and (a dulled version of) pain.
My sleep cycle is pretty unpredictable, too. Sometimes I sleep for six hours, sometimes for twelve. Sometimes I'm tired at 3 p.m., sometimes not until 5 a.m. It's just the way things are for me. I do take melatonin (a hormone) to regulate my sleep cycle; it's a relatively safe dietary supplement that is worth trying, provided it doesn't interact with anything else you're taking. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's been proven effective for jet lag.
The thing with autism and sleep is probably just that we think differently, and because sleep is a function of the brain, primarily, we also sleep differently. But I don't think trying to turn your sleep cycle into a NT one is a particularly good approach--how do we know that our autistic brains have the same sleep needs as a neurotypical's? For example, I can be completely well-rested, but after an hour's intense socializing, I'll need a nap. And a nap is a great way to solve shutdowns and overloads of all sorts. Most NTs wouldn't need a nap because they'd been talking to their counselor for an hour!
Maybe the best thing to do is know how your body works, and how your brain works, and let it do its thing. Trying to keep your sleep cycle constant is probably a useful, considering how routine-dependent we tend to be, but sometimes you've just got to say, "Yep, Brain, you're awfully weird, but I like you anyway."
sleep