My World Is Your World
No, I am not "trapped in my own world".
Sometimes, actually, I'm too aware, too sensitive to everything around me. Everything is in bright detail, sharp edges and corners and sudden changes. I don't feel trapped in "my own world" at all; my world is the same world everyone else sees.
People are part of that world, and yeah, their signals get lost in the flood of detail. But if anybody perceives me as being "in my own world", it's them, not me--they see me as trapped or closed in because I can't communicate as well as they can; and so they think that I am not as aware as they are and not as much present in the world as they are.
Strangely enough, it's the opposite. The average person's brain filters out "nonessential" detail long before it reaches consciousness, so that what they see seems to be more of a summary of the world around them than a direct representation. It's a handy trick and it's good that they can do it, but it does mean that they are, technically, less aware than someone with autism or sensory processing disorder, who does much less summarizing and is much more aware of detail.
I don't think either way of thinking is superior to the other--the NT way is quick and allows them to do a lot of things at once, but autistics don't miss the details. I think a world with both ways of thinking is better off than with only one, because we need both types of people--detail oriented people as well as the summarizing multi-taskers. And, because we cooperate to take on the world together, the summarizing abilities of the NTs can help us compensate for the disability caused by being flooded with detail, while we contribute our abilities to do things which are easier when your attention focuses more like a laser pointer than a flashlight.
I process information about people much the same way I process any other sort of information. People are interesting to me--but so are minerals, stars, animals, and numbers. I don't really see my relating to people as qualitatively different than how I relate to other things, with the exception that it is much more complex because human beings (and to some extent other animals) have consciousness of their own and are thus much more unpredictable.
When I have trouble communicating, I feel frustrated, but I don't feel trapped. I also feel frustrated, but not trapped, when I can't figure out a new type of math problem. Frustration is part of life, and relating to people is a difficult problem I'll probably never be particularly good at. Still, however annoying it is when I make mistakes, I don't see why I should take it too personally--certainly not personally enough to think I'm worth any less than somebody who can figure out those things easily.
The idea that autistic people are "trapped in their own world" is something I have always found somewhat offensive, though I understand that most people who say this don't really know that it bothers me, or why.
When a neurotypical encounters someone with autism, and that NT is used to communicating only with other NTs, they tend to apply the assumptions that are valid with other NTs to their analysis of that autistic person's communication. So, when the NT sees someone with autism, the NT observer may read these signals as though another NT were sending them. And that autistic person is often sending fewer signals, or ones that have different meanings from what they would if an NT were using them, or ones that would be irrelevant if an NT were using them.
A neurotypical person not sending social signals is probably separated from other NTs in some way--perhaps they are asleep, or paralyzed, or unaware of the observer's presence, or simply alone. And so, our inexperienced NT applies those assumptions to the autistic person, and concludes that the autistic person must be trapped, alone, separate, the way a NT would be if they weren't sending constant "I'm here" messages to everyone else in the room.
The "autistic aloneness" people see from us, then, is not a facet of autism so much as it is a feature of the way typical people see autism. They have problems understanding us, and we have problems communicating to them. Because they are used to being able to communicate, they assume that what they can receive is all there is to see; or, at least, that the autistic person must be "trapped inside a shell", and that if you could break the shell, the neurotypical observer would see the same sort of signals he gets from other NTs.
Yes, there is a communication problem. Autism makes communication difficult; we all know that. But communication is impossible if you assume that there is nothing to communicate, or if you think that any communication must be sent in the typical way for it to carry information from the "real person" inside the "autistic shell".
Through education and therapy, we learn to communicate with NTs. But you have to remember: This style of communication is not our first language. We are constantly translating. When things get lost in the exchange, do not assume that they were never there to begin with. When you cannot understand us, do not assume that there is nothing meaningful to understand.
Here are the facts: We do communicate--even those of us who cannot talk. We are not "in our own world". We have plenty to say. And we are not trapped inside anything other than the assumptions of the people around us.
Sometimes, actually, I'm too aware, too sensitive to everything around me. Everything is in bright detail, sharp edges and corners and sudden changes. I don't feel trapped in "my own world" at all; my world is the same world everyone else sees.
People are part of that world, and yeah, their signals get lost in the flood of detail. But if anybody perceives me as being "in my own world", it's them, not me--they see me as trapped or closed in because I can't communicate as well as they can; and so they think that I am not as aware as they are and not as much present in the world as they are.
Strangely enough, it's the opposite. The average person's brain filters out "nonessential" detail long before it reaches consciousness, so that what they see seems to be more of a summary of the world around them than a direct representation. It's a handy trick and it's good that they can do it, but it does mean that they are, technically, less aware than someone with autism or sensory processing disorder, who does much less summarizing and is much more aware of detail.
I don't think either way of thinking is superior to the other--the NT way is quick and allows them to do a lot of things at once, but autistics don't miss the details. I think a world with both ways of thinking is better off than with only one, because we need both types of people--detail oriented people as well as the summarizing multi-taskers. And, because we cooperate to take on the world together, the summarizing abilities of the NTs can help us compensate for the disability caused by being flooded with detail, while we contribute our abilities to do things which are easier when your attention focuses more like a laser pointer than a flashlight.
I process information about people much the same way I process any other sort of information. People are interesting to me--but so are minerals, stars, animals, and numbers. I don't really see my relating to people as qualitatively different than how I relate to other things, with the exception that it is much more complex because human beings (and to some extent other animals) have consciousness of their own and are thus much more unpredictable.
When I have trouble communicating, I feel frustrated, but I don't feel trapped. I also feel frustrated, but not trapped, when I can't figure out a new type of math problem. Frustration is part of life, and relating to people is a difficult problem I'll probably never be particularly good at. Still, however annoying it is when I make mistakes, I don't see why I should take it too personally--certainly not personally enough to think I'm worth any less than somebody who can figure out those things easily.
The idea that autistic people are "trapped in their own world" is something I have always found somewhat offensive, though I understand that most people who say this don't really know that it bothers me, or why.
When a neurotypical encounters someone with autism, and that NT is used to communicating only with other NTs, they tend to apply the assumptions that are valid with other NTs to their analysis of that autistic person's communication. So, when the NT sees someone with autism, the NT observer may read these signals as though another NT were sending them. And that autistic person is often sending fewer signals, or ones that have different meanings from what they would if an NT were using them, or ones that would be irrelevant if an NT were using them.
A neurotypical person not sending social signals is probably separated from other NTs in some way--perhaps they are asleep, or paralyzed, or unaware of the observer's presence, or simply alone. And so, our inexperienced NT applies those assumptions to the autistic person, and concludes that the autistic person must be trapped, alone, separate, the way a NT would be if they weren't sending constant "I'm here" messages to everyone else in the room.
The "autistic aloneness" people see from us, then, is not a facet of autism so much as it is a feature of the way typical people see autism. They have problems understanding us, and we have problems communicating to them. Because they are used to being able to communicate, they assume that what they can receive is all there is to see; or, at least, that the autistic person must be "trapped inside a shell", and that if you could break the shell, the neurotypical observer would see the same sort of signals he gets from other NTs.
Yes, there is a communication problem. Autism makes communication difficult; we all know that. But communication is impossible if you assume that there is nothing to communicate, or if you think that any communication must be sent in the typical way for it to carry information from the "real person" inside the "autistic shell".
Through education and therapy, we learn to communicate with NTs. But you have to remember: This style of communication is not our first language. We are constantly translating. When things get lost in the exchange, do not assume that they were never there to begin with. When you cannot understand us, do not assume that there is nothing meaningful to understand.
Here are the facts: We do communicate--even those of us who cannot talk. We are not "in our own world". We have plenty to say. And we are not trapped inside anything other than the assumptions of the people around us.