I Had Everything To lose And I Did Just That, Lost
I find myself bewildered. So so sad, but the other part of me isn't sad. I'm like half vanilla half chocolate. Tears drip down my face like I'm 9, but my god I'm 30. I'm not wallowing so much in pity. You'll understand it if you read.
Is this karma? Was it that I wasn't appreciative enough and nature revolted against me? Something had to have given? Perhaps it's just life another lesson another new start awaits. I for some reason cannot speak of facts no more, since those facts I held as promise are no longer truth but here's what we're talking about here.
January 30th, 2008
A) A great family, Mother & Father, couldn't have EVER pleaded for 2 better people to be raised by and be loved by.
B) A love that to me was real and true, I never relented, I sacraficed a lot, she was there and she wanted this, an engagement.
C) Business is about to boom, the economy is holding
D) I have my new apartment, I'm living on my own and I can taste a life I always hoped for
October 15th, 2008
A) My father has passed away, my mother is now miles and miles away visiting family
B) She just doesn't feel the same anymore, things changed, she loves me but not like that. Yet everything that contributed to our downfall had to do with her actions then my reactions then her frustration, in order. So be done. I'm sure there's a wiser, more compatiable lady. But I gave everything, I tried the hardest, I put up with her family...and on and on.
C) The last 2 months business has haulted I've made a mere $3000 now in 7 weeks when I was bringing that in at the minimum every 2 weeks.
D) I'm at home in my moms house and I just feel so old.
And this is where I am at 258 days later. I'm not weak, I'm still determined. I try to run everyday, endrophins will save me. I could use a friend, a coffee partner, someone to perhaps talk about the amazement of life and occasionally the difficulty. My heart is semi taken I just feel so much shock that I gave 150% and she is the one who walks away.
Well Friends Goodnight.
Is this karma? Was it that I wasn't appreciative enough and nature revolted against me? Something had to have given? Perhaps it's just life another lesson another new start awaits. I for some reason cannot speak of facts no more, since those facts I held as promise are no longer truth but here's what we're talking about here.
January 30th, 2008
A) A great family, Mother & Father, couldn't have EVER pleaded for 2 better people to be raised by and be loved by.
B) A love that to me was real and true, I never relented, I sacraficed a lot, she was there and she wanted this, an engagement.
C) Business is about to boom, the economy is holding
D) I have my new apartment, I'm living on my own and I can taste a life I always hoped for
October 15th, 2008
A) My father has passed away, my mother is now miles and miles away visiting family
B) She just doesn't feel the same anymore, things changed, she loves me but not like that. Yet everything that contributed to our downfall had to do with her actions then my reactions then her frustration, in order. So be done. I'm sure there's a wiser, more compatiable lady. But I gave everything, I tried the hardest, I put up with her family...and on and on.
C) The last 2 months business has haulted I've made a mere $3000 now in 7 weeks when I was bringing that in at the minimum every 2 weeks.
D) I'm at home in my moms house and I just feel so old.
And this is where I am at 258 days later. I'm not weak, I'm still determined. I try to run everyday, endrophins will save me. I could use a friend, a coffee partner, someone to perhaps talk about the amazement of life and occasionally the difficulty. My heart is semi taken I just feel so much shock that I gave 150% and she is the one who walks away.
Well Friends Goodnight.