I Don't Know What To Feel...
I just broke up with my girlfriend. I feel like crying but I'm not. I feel like dying but I'm not. All I can think of is how she said she would do anything for me and the first time I really put my foot down it is over. I'm such a loser, I let myself go all the time and I always get hurt. Yet I won't stop it from happening again because I believe if you live life reserved you don't really live. I wish I could stop feeling. I was going to go into the details of the breakup here but I don't see the point. I thought I would diddle with my computer to try and forget but the first thing I see is that her sister and a lot of her friends are online and I think I have to at least delete her friends from my buddy list. I go to check my mail and it seems I also have change my password, which gets me to thinking of my away messages and how I have to delete half of them and my voicemail and how I have to change it. I think of all this and I feel like I'm deleting a large part of myself. It seems like I just remembered how to cry. I told her that I would keep what she gave me but I don't think I can. Why is it that I can never be important enough to anyone? Why is it that no one can love me as much as I love them? My sister and best friend are excluded from these quanderies (sp?).
Her voice didn't even break tone when it happened.
Her voice didn't even break tone when it happened.