My very first kuroxfai
title: one less thing to hate
author: chaotic_cupcake
fandom: TRC (KuroxFai)
length: 510 words
summary: the classic kiss that everyone writes at least once. Set kind of at the beginning of the journey.
warnings: Mediocre writing, and rather OOC Kurogane.
If I was forced to name just one thing I hate about the mage, it wouldn’t be Fai’s secrets or false smiles, as riling as they are. It wouldn’t be his frustrating habit of hiding behind lies, or inane amounts of alcohol, or just simply hiding away. No, if I had to pinpoint the one thing I hate above all else, it would be the way Fai ‘accidentally’ brushes his fingers along my arm, as if he is desperate to have contact with even just that small part of me but is too scared or too careful or too worried of hurting me to do it outright. I hate the way he can flirt lightly and touch me because I won’t do anything about it, because it’s another way of lying to me but the instant I show any sign of trying to help him, of caring - well, if I were to touch him, I’d get frostbite.
He’s doing it now, walking past and letting his fingers trail along the armrest of my chair, gently touching me but only just. I can see it comforts him; I’m here, I’m real, I’m still alive.
“Don’t,” I mutter darkly, grabbing his hand.
He looks frightened, for a second - trapped - before a teasing expression takes hold. I doubt anyone else would have caught that terror, but I’ve learnt to take what I can get, and quickly, where it comes to Fai’s emotions.
“What do you mean, Kuro-pyuu?” he asks lightly, trying vainly to slip his slim wrist out of my rough hand. It comforts me as well, to feel him; he’s here, he’s real, he’s still alive. “Why won’t Kuro-daddy let me go?”
“You’ll run again, hide again. Stupid mage.” I’m angry again, all of a sudden, but this is a different kind of anger and I know exactly what it wants me to do -wall-lips-FAI-now-do-you-see?- but I also know that it’ll chase Fai away, make him hide. And I can’t risk that.
Fai can obviously see the temptation in my eyes, because his struggling is increasing.
“Let me go!”
“Never,” I reply just as swiftly. “And don’t make up silly excuses to touch me, Fai.” I grab his other hand, place it on my chest. “If you want to do something, do it. Don’t half-maybe-not do it.”
“I’ll hurt you,” he says, the playful tone of his voice more than slightly strained now.
“Not as much as you’re hurting me right now.” It was emotionless, I know it was, but Fai obviously heard the swell of invisible emotion behind it. Emotion that, until I said those words, I didn’t realize I had.
His eyes widen and the hand on my chest grips the t-shirt that is common in this world. I don’t know when exactly I realize what is happening, but it is far too late to stop it. His slim arms are strong enough to pull me down and he’s on his toes and his lips have crashed against mine and all I can think is, one less thing to hate.