Scientific Research Goes Long And Hard

[chaosvizier]

So, this article made its way across my facebook feed…

Average Penis Size Revealed In Study Results…and of course I had to read it because… well, just because. Shut up, don’t judge me. You just read it too, didn’t you? That’s right, you did. Shut up

Comments

[pixel39]

10) but if you don't re-measure SCIENTIFICALLY how will you KNOWWWWW???

*grins*

[chaosvizier]

That's because I didn't take the PROFESSIONAL WANG-MEASURING COURSE at Cornell. My measurements would be amateur and potentially inaccurate. I would not wish to ruin this SERIOUS RESEARCH STUDY with my Bad Science.

Note to self: look for professional wang measurer so as to add personal data to research.

*more grins*

[ophelialaughs]

Where does one acquire a professional wang measurer? Is it a device, or a position, or both? I feel sorry for whoever has to put that on their tax return. Wang Measurer Technician.

[chaosvizier]

If it's a device, I'd be afraid for my wang.

If it's a person, I'd be wondering about their daily life.

"Hi John, nice to meet you. What do you do?"
"Oh, I'm in, uh, measurements."
"Ah, weights and measures?"
"Mostly lengths, really."
"Got it. Like mapping distances? Surveying?"
"Uh, a lot shorter than that. Mostly working with... tools."
"Tools? Like.."
"LISTEN I MEASURE PEOPLE'S SCHLONGS OK AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE IN THE FOUR-INCH CATEGORY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT SPORTS PLEASE?"

[pixel39]

"I...er...collect...er...biological data. Measurements and stuff."

[chaosvizier]

I guess it's either that or "I collect measurement statistics. For the food industry. Mostly hot dogs, some sausages and kielbasa, and cocktail weenies."

[pixel39]

TECHNIQUE IS IMPORTANT.

[chaosvizier]

SO ARE WARM HANDS.

[chaosvizier]

They're British, so I bet a lot of "pub" was involved after the "med" part. If only to erase the memory of all the wang-wrangling they might have had to do.