A meme, plus random jibberish
Sometimes, work has poor form.
Imagine, if you will, an office. Any office will do. And, like most offices, it on occasion needs supplies, such that they might be acquired from a stockroom downstairs. Sometimes the stockroom can send up someone to bring stock to you; other times, it must be done from the office's end, which means sending someone downstairs with a cart, getting the supplies, and coming back upstairs.
Usually, this "someone" is me, because I am a stunning example of manliness and testosterone just waiting to be exploited. And if you're laughing at that, then you would be correct in doing so. See this picture? This picture is totally not me. Nonetheless, I usually have nothing better to do, and a little walking and exercise does me well, so I go. Borrow mail cart, go downstairs, get some boxes, come back up, and voila.
So what happens when I'm not there?
The answer, I've discovered, is not "someone else does it". The answer is "we'll wait as long as it takes for him to get back and then make him do it and tell him to rush it for good measure."
Ooooooookay then. Fine, fine. I'll play your game, because I am such a swirling hunk of machismo that this does not faze me. Until I realize that it's still early and there are no mail carts available yet. Hmmmm. Even my incredibly ripped physique is not capable of carrying several full boxes of supplies up to the office. So I ask for someone to help out.
Let's just say that was one of the least positively-received questions I have ever asked, ever. Ever ever. Let's also say that despite that, I did acquire all the necessary materials, because my biggest muscle is not my twenty-five-inch quads, but rather the gray mushy stuff in my skull. It's all in the engineering, baby.
My only justification is that I'll be gone for two weeks after this, and I have a big box of chocolates on my desk and 12 14 17 21 bottles of booze that I most certainly am not sharing with anyone here. Mine! My preciouses!
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Lab assistant
2. Cafeteria worker (I took care of the salad bar. That's called irony.)
3. Freelance writer for a computer game
4. United Nations Protocol Assistant
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Flash Gordon
2. The Fugitive
3. The Thing
4. Star Trek II
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. Ithaca, New York
2. Hamburg, Germany
3. Newton, New Jersey
4. Scotch Plains, New Jersey
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH (current):
1. Law And Order SVU
2. The Simpsons
3. Deadwood
4. The Family Guy
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON HOLIDAY:
1. Hawaii
2. Israel
3. Germany
4. Iceland
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT (almost) DAILY:
1. LJ
2. Hotmail
3. Dilbert
4. Web Sudoku. Damn you, Japanese number logic puzzle!
FOUR OF YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. Ratsherrn Pils, Hamburg
2. Whatever place it was in San Francisco that had all you can eat sushi and all you can drink sake
3. The butcher shop/restaurant in Johannesburg where I ate the flesh of every wild animal south of the equator
4. Windows On The World, RIP
FOUR COSTUMES YOU'VE WORN ON HALLOWEEN etc:
1. Zorro
2. Anubis, the One True God
3. Darth Vader
4. ...I can't remember anymore. Damn, I'm too old for this.
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Lasagna
2. Chocolate Mousse
3. Sushi, especially Eel
4. Lobster
FOUR THINGS YOU WANT RIGHT NOW:
1. Money
2. An Orbital Ion Cannon
3. A huge vacation to... well, somewhere.
4. RULERSHIP OF THE WORLD!
FOUR NICKNAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. You can't really...
2. ...make a nickname...
3. ...out of an already...
4. ...very short name.
FOUR FAVORITE PETS/ANIMALS:
1. Godzilla
2. King Kong
3. The Ferocious Crocostimpy
4. ...no, I never had pets growing up, why do you ask?
FOUR CARS YOU'VE OWNED/DRIVEN:
1. Audi Fox (pwned- run off the road and into a mound of dirt)
2. Audi 4000 (pwned- fucking deer)
3. Volvo 800 stationwagon (pwned- old age)
4. Honda Accord LX (not pwned, stay good stay good stay good...)
Imagine, if you will, an office. Any office will do. And, like most offices, it on occasion needs supplies, such that they might be acquired from a stockroom downstairs. Sometimes the stockroom can send up someone to bring stock to you; other times, it must be done from the office's end, which means sending someone downstairs with a cart, getting the supplies, and coming back upstairs.
Usually, this "someone" is me, because I am a stunning example of manliness and testosterone just waiting to be exploited. And if you're laughing at that, then you would be correct in doing so. See this picture? This picture is totally not me. Nonetheless, I usually have nothing better to do, and a little walking and exercise does me well, so I go. Borrow mail cart, go downstairs, get some boxes, come back up, and voila.
So what happens when I'm not there?
The answer, I've discovered, is not "someone else does it". The answer is "we'll wait as long as it takes for him to get back and then make him do it and tell him to rush it for good measure."
Ooooooookay then. Fine, fine. I'll play your game, because I am such a swirling hunk of machismo that this does not faze me. Until I realize that it's still early and there are no mail carts available yet. Hmmmm. Even my incredibly ripped physique is not capable of carrying several full boxes of supplies up to the office. So I ask for someone to help out.
Let's just say that was one of the least positively-received questions I have ever asked, ever. Ever ever. Let's also say that despite that, I did acquire all the necessary materials, because my biggest muscle is not my twenty-five-inch quads, but rather the gray mushy stuff in my skull. It's all in the engineering, baby.
My only justification is that I'll be gone for two weeks after this, and I have a big box of chocolates on my desk and 12 14 17 21 bottles of booze that I most certainly am not sharing with anyone here. Mine! My preciouses!
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Lab assistant
2. Cafeteria worker (I took care of the salad bar. That's called irony.)
3. Freelance writer for a computer game
4. United Nations Protocol Assistant
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Flash Gordon
2. The Fugitive
3. The Thing
4. Star Trek II
FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1. Ithaca, New York
2. Hamburg, Germany
3. Newton, New Jersey
4. Scotch Plains, New Jersey
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH (current):
1. Law And Order SVU
2. The Simpsons
3. Deadwood
4. The Family Guy
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON HOLIDAY:
1. Hawaii
2. Israel
3. Germany
4. Iceland
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT (almost) DAILY:
1. LJ
2. Hotmail
3. Dilbert
4. Web Sudoku. Damn you, Japanese number logic puzzle!
FOUR OF YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. Ratsherrn Pils, Hamburg
2. Whatever place it was in San Francisco that had all you can eat sushi and all you can drink sake
3. The butcher shop/restaurant in Johannesburg where I ate the flesh of every wild animal south of the equator
4. Windows On The World, RIP
FOUR COSTUMES YOU'VE WORN ON HALLOWEEN etc:
1. Zorro
2. Anubis, the One True God
3. Darth Vader
4. ...I can't remember anymore. Damn, I'm too old for this.
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Lasagna
2. Chocolate Mousse
3. Sushi, especially Eel
4. Lobster
FOUR THINGS YOU WANT RIGHT NOW:
1. Money
2. An Orbital Ion Cannon
3. A huge vacation to... well, somewhere.
4. RULERSHIP OF THE WORLD!
FOUR NICKNAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. You can't really...
2. ...make a nickname...
3. ...out of an already...
4. ...very short name.
FOUR FAVORITE PETS/ANIMALS:
1. Godzilla
2. King Kong
3. The Ferocious Crocostimpy
4. ...no, I never had pets growing up, why do you ask?
FOUR CARS YOU'VE OWNED/DRIVEN:
1. Audi Fox (pwned- run off the road and into a mound of dirt)
2. Audi 4000 (pwned- fucking deer)
3. Volvo 800 stationwagon (pwned- old age)
4. Honda Accord LX (not pwned, stay good stay good stay good...)