Sometimes I am tempted to forget myself...
Well..I dunno how long it's been since I last updated but..mass shit has gone down since then. That would be besides the fact that I moved out of my house..I can't rememeber when I last wrote so I don't know if I wrote that yet..
Jon and I are on a "break"..we always do this. But it's not the same this time. It was really, really serious for a couple months and then we just kinda went different directions. Or at least thats what I think. With me working all the time, and him always working all the time, we NEVER see each other. When I didn't work, and he worked all the time, It was easier because I could see him whenenever he didn't work. But now our schedules over-lap, and we never have any of the same time off. And we both have to put in 2 week notices if we want a day off, so even if we decided today that we wanna do something, it wouldnt even be until the second week of August or something like that. In other news..there is a fine ass guy at work i've been talkin to lately. The only thing is, he's young. Hes only 16. I know I'm only 17 but..in the words of the person who knows me best "You're 17 going on 30" And he just turned 16..he'll be 16 after I turn 18. He's cute as hell though. And he's mixed, but he's got the lightest bluish green eyes. wow. I dunno..I just..I really..I love Jon so fucking much but lately it's just a relationship of convenience, and not of mad passionate love like it used to be. I mean..maybe we just need this break. If you count up all the times we went out it's like..a long fuckin time. First time in 6th grade, and then when I was a freshmen..and then last august through now. And maybe we'll hook back up in a couple months or something. In the mean while, Chris is hot as fuck, and he'll be a good fuck/boytoy for me. Well that is if he'll still wanna see me after yesturday. we went to the clermont country fair and then my mom called all upset and pissed and begged me to come home, well come home early and meet her at 9. so i did. i did it because i thought she actually really needed me, and i wasnt gonna not be there for her. well turns out she was just high as hell on god knows how many different kinds of pills and only wanted to fight with me. she doesnt like chris. she doesn't like black people and thats not my fault, it's also not her decision who i date, fuck, hook up with..anything. because shes not my mother. she fucked some guy and had me, big fucking deal! it takes a hell of a lot more than that to be a mother and raise a kid. she just doesnt get it. i will do whatever the fuck i want regardless of how she feels, why should i give a fuck about how she feels when she obviosly doesnt give a fuck about how i feel. she told me she was gonna call the cops on me last night. i said yeah lets call the fuckin cops mom, and you're high on 10 different kinds of pills that are in your purse in bottles and are prescribed to SOMEONE ELSE! thats illegal. dumb bitch. i cant rage anymore, im done, im gone, im empty...
Jon and I are on a "break"..we always do this. But it's not the same this time. It was really, really serious for a couple months and then we just kinda went different directions. Or at least thats what I think. With me working all the time, and him always working all the time, we NEVER see each other. When I didn't work, and he worked all the time, It was easier because I could see him whenenever he didn't work. But now our schedules over-lap, and we never have any of the same time off. And we both have to put in 2 week notices if we want a day off, so even if we decided today that we wanna do something, it wouldnt even be until the second week of August or something like that. In other news..there is a fine ass guy at work i've been talkin to lately. The only thing is, he's young. Hes only 16. I know I'm only 17 but..in the words of the person who knows me best "You're 17 going on 30" And he just turned 16..he'll be 16 after I turn 18. He's cute as hell though. And he's mixed, but he's got the lightest bluish green eyes. wow. I dunno..I just..I really..I love Jon so fucking much but lately it's just a relationship of convenience, and not of mad passionate love like it used to be. I mean..maybe we just need this break. If you count up all the times we went out it's like..a long fuckin time. First time in 6th grade, and then when I was a freshmen..and then last august through now. And maybe we'll hook back up in a couple months or something. In the mean while, Chris is hot as fuck, and he'll be a good fuck/boytoy for me. Well that is if he'll still wanna see me after yesturday. we went to the clermont country fair and then my mom called all upset and pissed and begged me to come home, well come home early and meet her at 9. so i did. i did it because i thought she actually really needed me, and i wasnt gonna not be there for her. well turns out she was just high as hell on god knows how many different kinds of pills and only wanted to fight with me. she doesnt like chris. she doesn't like black people and thats not my fault, it's also not her decision who i date, fuck, hook up with..anything. because shes not my mother. she fucked some guy and had me, big fucking deal! it takes a hell of a lot more than that to be a mother and raise a kid. she just doesnt get it. i will do whatever the fuck i want regardless of how she feels, why should i give a fuck about how she feels when she obviosly doesnt give a fuck about how i feel. she told me she was gonna call the cops on me last night. i said yeah lets call the fuckin cops mom, and you're high on 10 different kinds of pills that are in your purse in bottles and are prescribed to SOMEONE ELSE! thats illegal. dumb bitch. i cant rage anymore, im done, im gone, im empty...