This is for Thom
Se7en: The Musical
Starring
Christopher Walkin as John Doe
and Dave Chapelle as the black retiring detective
And it begins... (and please don't hate me... I'm not racist)
Detective Darky McBlackblack walks down an alley almost as dark as he is. A shadow moves in the back ground and John Doe jumps out from behind a dumpster.
Doe (Walkin): Whoa, what doooo we hov heyr. Detective Blacky McDarkdark.
Darky (Chapelle): That's Darky, you white bitch. Oh, damn your white... I'm gettin' the hell outta here.
Doe (Walkin): Whoa, my friend. Don't mek me tek a soddering iron to yo mudda's kidneys. I wouldn't want to spill red on my whitey skin. You know how delicate I am.
Darky (Chapelle): Holy s**t. (under breath) this crackers gone off the white end... and he aint never comin' out.
Darky Grins and begins to run... Walken begins do dance and make carving gestures.
Cue the music:
Doe (Walkin) - [musical number]:
I love carving in the summertime...
I love cutting in the afternoon...
but I know the one thing I love most...
Is cutting up Darky's mudda in the living room...
So I'll walk a way...
Walk into this dark-i---ness-----
and load up some shells...
and wear a fancy-------------- dress------------
Tapdancing on kidneys, is the way I go...
Tap dancing on livers and entrails in the fashion, the big old, grand time wonderful show----------
[end song]
The music ends abruptly as Darky McBlackblack runs over John Doe in what can only be described as a giant motorized roller skate. Darky goes riding off into the moonlight laughing with one final line:
Darky (Chapelle): Cracker... never jump a blackman that's darker than night. White bitch. Hahahaha.
And the laughing fades to silence as the curtain drops.
Roll Credits.
P.S. I am disturbed... but Thom planted the seed.
-out
Starring
Christopher Walkin as John Doe
and Dave Chapelle as the black retiring detective
And it begins... (and please don't hate me... I'm not racist)
Detective Darky McBlackblack walks down an alley almost as dark as he is. A shadow moves in the back ground and John Doe jumps out from behind a dumpster.
Doe (Walkin): Whoa, what doooo we hov heyr. Detective Blacky McDarkdark.
Darky (Chapelle): That's Darky, you white bitch. Oh, damn your white... I'm gettin' the hell outta here.
Doe (Walkin): Whoa, my friend. Don't mek me tek a soddering iron to yo mudda's kidneys. I wouldn't want to spill red on my whitey skin. You know how delicate I am.
Darky (Chapelle): Holy s**t. (under breath) this crackers gone off the white end... and he aint never comin' out.
Darky Grins and begins to run... Walken begins do dance and make carving gestures.
Cue the music:
Doe (Walkin) - [musical number]:
I love carving in the summertime...
I love cutting in the afternoon...
but I know the one thing I love most...
Is cutting up Darky's mudda in the living room...
So I'll walk a way...
Walk into this dark-i---ness-----
and load up some shells...
and wear a fancy-------------- dress------------
Tapdancing on kidneys, is the way I go...
Tap dancing on livers and entrails in the fashion, the big old, grand time wonderful show----------
[end song]
The music ends abruptly as Darky McBlackblack runs over John Doe in what can only be described as a giant motorized roller skate. Darky goes riding off into the moonlight laughing with one final line:
Darky (Chapelle): Cracker... never jump a blackman that's darker than night. White bitch. Hahahaha.
And the laughing fades to silence as the curtain drops.
Roll Credits.
P.S. I am disturbed... but Thom planted the seed.
-out