I miss you like no other...
Not that it really matters to you anymore. I had this giant rant planned out, and everything that I was going to say, but right now, that doesn't matter either. All you need to know is this: I see through it. I see through the half-a**ed lies that you throw at me all the time. I'm not that stupid and it insults me that you think I am. I always tell you that I'm not angry...just dissappointed. Well that's a lie of my own. I'm angry with you, and here's probably the only place I'll ever say it. (Not that you'll check here anyway).
I spent years giving my best to be the best friend I possibly can to you. Friendship to me is precious...I don't do it half-way. If I'm going to be friends with you, I'm going to give you my all, and it's a emotional risk I take. What did I get for this risk? Smashed. After several years, you smash me and abandon me because it's no longer convienient for you to be friends with me. What is it? Is it because I'm too innocent? Too prudent?
I guess that leads to the only question I want an answer to...Why?
I know how. We failed you somehow. We failed you somewhere along the way. Where we managed to do that, I'll contemplate for a very long time. I'm not sure yet, but I'll figure it out someday, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for failing you as a friend.
I guess you've just picked a path that I can't bring myself to follow? I suppose that's it. You're still precious to me, and even through all the sh** you've put me through, it makes me sad to see where you've gone. I suppose I should have seen it coming. But you see...I didn't. I could be cliche and say the traditional "well, whenever you decide that this life just doesn't work out for you, I'll still be here". But I'm not sure I can, and this is where I fail you too.
I'm not sure that after all that's been done, I can truly wait for you. You may not have hurt me as bad as Mark...but you've come d***ed close.
But yet, I still love you like I always have. And I know that shouldn't bother me, but it does.
I spent years giving my best to be the best friend I possibly can to you. Friendship to me is precious...I don't do it half-way. If I'm going to be friends with you, I'm going to give you my all, and it's a emotional risk I take. What did I get for this risk? Smashed. After several years, you smash me and abandon me because it's no longer convienient for you to be friends with me. What is it? Is it because I'm too innocent? Too prudent?
I guess that leads to the only question I want an answer to...Why?
I know how. We failed you somehow. We failed you somewhere along the way. Where we managed to do that, I'll contemplate for a very long time. I'm not sure yet, but I'll figure it out someday, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for failing you as a friend.
I guess you've just picked a path that I can't bring myself to follow? I suppose that's it. You're still precious to me, and even through all the sh** you've put me through, it makes me sad to see where you've gone. I suppose I should have seen it coming. But you see...I didn't. I could be cliche and say the traditional "well, whenever you decide that this life just doesn't work out for you, I'll still be here". But I'm not sure I can, and this is where I fail you too.
I'm not sure that after all that's been done, I can truly wait for you. You may not have hurt me as bad as Mark...but you've come d***ed close.
But yet, I still love you like I always have. And I know that shouldn't bother me, but it does.