Attached
Jesse rolled over to face his lover of the night. The sheets were more than a little damp. Looking back at him were intense dark eyes. Gus was not his straight-laced, hard ass, self tonight. Well, maybe he was still a hard ass, Jesse thought with a smirk. Right now, the region’s drug lord’s muscular chest was heaving, he was slick with sweat and a few other fluids, and he was giving Jesse a wildly possessive look. Jesse knew that look because Mr. White used to give it to him often, before he and Mike had grudgingly agreed that an open relationship was the safest route to maintaining the peace at work.
“Is it like this with Mike?”
Afraid that Gus might demand it, Jesse hesitantly made the offer first.
“Gus…If you want us to be exclusive-“
“Jesse, I just want to know.”
Slightly relieved, Jesse tried to explain, “It’s different. It’s like…slower, gentler, and...he makes me feel safe…Like if a tornado or something ripped through his living room, I’d be safe as long as I was in his arms.”
Jesse blushed. Jesus, that sounded corny to say aloud, but it was so true.
“I see," Gus said, raising an eyebrow. "And what does he do to inspire such safety?”
Jesse furrowed his brow, trying to find what exactly it was about Mike that made him feel so secure.
“I don’t know. It’s just…his presence…knowing he’s there.”
“I see,” Gus repeated.
Jesse squirmed, unsettled by Gus’s tone. Apparently, the older man noticed.
“Do you feel safe with me?”
Jesse should have seen this coming, but was still caught off-guard. He averted his gaze and mumbled, “I do…but it’s different with you…”
He glanced back at Gus’s face and immediately looked away again. He felt like he owed him some sort of explanation. After all, they had just had mind-blowingly awesome sex a few minutes ago. Gus must be wondering what’s wrong with him.
“I don’t know why I’m so attached to so many people…”
“Polyamorous.”
“What?”
“The word you’re looking for is polyamorous. It means developing intimate bonds with more than one person.”
“Yeah…sorry for being that…”
Jesse shivered as Gus reached up and touched his face.
“Don’t ever apologize for what you want.”
“Is it like this with Mike?”
Afraid that Gus might demand it, Jesse hesitantly made the offer first.
“Gus…If you want us to be exclusive-“
“Jesse, I just want to know.”
Slightly relieved, Jesse tried to explain, “It’s different. It’s like…slower, gentler, and...he makes me feel safe…Like if a tornado or something ripped through his living room, I’d be safe as long as I was in his arms.”
Jesse blushed. Jesus, that sounded corny to say aloud, but it was so true.
“I see," Gus said, raising an eyebrow. "And what does he do to inspire such safety?”
Jesse furrowed his brow, trying to find what exactly it was about Mike that made him feel so secure.
“I don’t know. It’s just…his presence…knowing he’s there.”
“I see,” Gus repeated.
Jesse squirmed, unsettled by Gus’s tone. Apparently, the older man noticed.
“Do you feel safe with me?”
Jesse should have seen this coming, but was still caught off-guard. He averted his gaze and mumbled, “I do…but it’s different with you…”
He glanced back at Gus’s face and immediately looked away again. He felt like he owed him some sort of explanation. After all, they had just had mind-blowingly awesome sex a few minutes ago. Gus must be wondering what’s wrong with him.
“I don’t know why I’m so attached to so many people…”
“Polyamorous.”
“What?”
“The word you’re looking for is polyamorous. It means developing intimate bonds with more than one person.”
“Yeah…sorry for being that…”
Jesse shivered as Gus reached up and touched his face.
“Don’t ever apologize for what you want.”