I seem to run most often into guys of all kinds that notice I'm not a CFP (or damsel in distress), and then try to make me one in the belief I'm merely hiding/denying my supposed CFPness. I've dated two, but others of both genders have expressed a fairly clear interest in thinking it would be a great idea to fix/rescue/break/tame what I am. It gets particularly messy if a couple of them decide to be hyper-protective of me and end up attacking one another in the belief that the other is harmful.
It seems quite weird that anyone would even dream I'm CFP material. Since when do CFPs swear freely, think the majority of available fantasy/sf is craptastic, hate anything even remotely feminine, and install their own garbage disposals?
I seem to run most often into guys of all kinds that notice I'm not a CFP (or damsel in distress), and then try to make me one...Since when do CFPs swear freely, think the majority of available fantasy/sf is craptastic...
I'm with you on those. The few times that geekboys actually hung out with me, they tried to do the same thing to me. And I am DEFinitely not a helpless damsel-in-distress type of person... Sad that most of those boys I knew for years before I finally ended up ditching them for some friends who didn't want to change me. Meh! Katie
I'm wondering if what's going on is this: a lot of geekboys are insecure about their own masculinity, and are looking for a partner that will make them appear more masculine/competent. Or who will reinforce their image. Somehow, having a CFP on your arm seems to reinforce your status. CFPs seem to be the arm candy of the geek world or something. Although frankly I would be bored to tears by one.
Come to think of it, I seem to have run into a bunch of lesbians (generally the politically-correct type) in the Bay Area who wanted CFPs too... just the CFPs they looked for were likely to have cropped hair and be Dianic Wiccans... but otherwise, the same general type of person.
While we both know I'm not typical of much of anything, back when I was trying to be a typical male geek, and was into the CFP type, it had nothing to do with insecurity on my part or an interest in status. Geeks who are into status should go get a makeover and be what was once called a "preppie."
Anyhoo, I was into that type because I felt like I'd been hurt badly enough, and wanted to rescue someone else, and thought that a troubled girl would be a good choice. Rescue by being there for her and comforting her, and be rewarded by her caring about me in return.
These days, I still want to help people, but I recognize that sometimes they don't want help, while some other times they need to help themselves; and so the times when I can do any good, I do it because it's the right thing to do, not for any desire of reward.
Oh my god. My ex was one of the biggest CFPophiles. He kept trying to transform me into one. Even with the stupid "couple costumes" he wanted to do for Halloween - one year we were sorcerers (and of course I wore a bodice...) and he wanted to be fairies the next year. Uh. That is so NOT MY THING. I did NOT wanna do that. I never go as fairylike/midaeval women for Halloween. I'm just sooo not into the fairy/Rennaissance thing. Actually my costumes are rarely feminine at *all*; they're usually either gross, bizarre or funny. Two years in a row I was a Borg and another year I wore surgical scrubs soaked in stage blood
( ... )
It seems quite weird that anyone would even dream I'm CFP material. Since when do CFPs swear freely, think the majority of available fantasy/sf is craptastic, hate anything even remotely feminine, and install their own garbage disposals?
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I'm with you on those. The few times that geekboys actually hung out with me, they tried to do the same thing to me. And I am DEFinitely not a helpless damsel-in-distress type of person... Sad that most of those boys I knew for years before I finally ended up ditching them for some friends who didn't want to change me. Meh!
Katie
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a lot of geekboys are insecure about their own masculinity, and are looking for a partner that will make them appear more masculine/competent. Or who will reinforce their image. Somehow, having a CFP on your arm seems to reinforce your status. CFPs seem to be the arm candy of the geek world or something. Although frankly I would be bored to tears by one.
Come to think of it, I seem to have run into a bunch of lesbians (generally the politically-correct type) in the Bay Area who wanted CFPs too... just the CFPs they looked for were likely to have cropped hair and be Dianic Wiccans... but otherwise, the same general type of person.
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Sad, innit?
Katie
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Anyhoo, I was into that type because I felt like I'd been hurt badly enough, and wanted to rescue someone else, and thought that a troubled girl would be a good choice. Rescue by being there for her and comforting her, and be rewarded by her caring about me in return.
These days, I still want to help people, but I recognize that sometimes they don't want help, while some other times they need to help themselves; and so the times when I can do any good, I do it because it's the right thing to do, not for any desire of reward.
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