Part Two of "100 People"...
(By the way, it's going to take me a few of these posts to get into the actual list. You see, Bernard Goldberg is so gosh-darned passionate about the state of the world that he's got to burn off dozens of pages kvetching about the state of our society in general before he can set about his business. It might be some sort of initiation ritual to make sure that only the like-minded are still around when he gets down to business, so he won't have to deal with complaints about his logic or sense of proportion.)
At any rate, his introduction begins with his discontent when he's sitting in an airplane waiting to take off, and he hears a man say the word "f**k" right into a cellphone. Seriously -- right there in front of everyone! And nobody says anything!
In today's world, some anonymous guy dropping the F-bomb in a crowded airplane doesn't move the needle on the give-a-crap meter. . . . you just sit there and either make believe you didn't hear what you and everybody else just heard or tell yourself it's no big deal. But the truth is, it's getting harder and harder to tell myself that stuff like this is no big deal.
My first reaction was, "Huh? Why the asterisks? Is 'fuck' really any less fucky because two of the letters are hidden? Do you honestly believe that you've used the word any less than that guy because you punctuated it oddly while still enjoying the thrill of letting us know exactly what word was used?" Then I wondered why he kept the 'k', seeing as how we usually think of it as the 'f-dash-dash-dash' word... until I realized: he's aiming at an audience for whom 'f---' could be either 'fuck' or 'fart'. Holy tone-setting shit, Batman.
My second reaction -- the one I actually thought about -- was, "But it actually isn't a big deal." Nobody was harmed by that particular choice of word. I could argue that they were harmed by having to listen to some self-important jackass yammering away in public on his cell phone, but that's not up for discussion. Now, there are indeed contexts in which I find really uncomfortable hearing the word 'fuck' in public, but they generally have to do with people being red in the face and screaming them, rather than just dropping them casually into a conversation they're not having with me. And that's not because they chose the word 'fuck', but because I'm not comfortable with extreme displays of emotion in public, and I'm nervous around people who have lost their self-control and are teetering on the edge of violence. It's more disturbing to me to hear someone shout directly into a child's ear, clearly on the edge of smacking them, than it would be to have the pilot of the airplane announce casually over the PA system, "By the way, last night after I spanked it, I ate a large glob of my own fuck."
Finally, Mr. Goldberg: "give-a-crap"? Isn't this exactly the sort of gratuitous scatological reference you think that we unwashed heathens ought to be punished for? Or am I to believe that 'crap' is a far more benign substance than 'shit', because on the eighth day the Lord created the Hierarchy of Euphemisms, under which it doesn't matter at all what you talk about, so long as you use a nicer sequence of phonemes to produce the exact same image?
After that lament, Mr. Goldberg wants to make it clear that he's not calling for a return to days when black people, gays, and other minorities were harassed by jerks. That's commendable, and I've witnessed enough silly people on my side of the political spectrum to understand why he might be defensive. But then he goes on to list examples of things we tolerate today that he's not okay with:
And that's where I'll stop for now, because the next thing he goes off on is Janet Jackson's titty (huh huh, I said 'goes off'), and boy howdy, do I have a bit to say about that. So I'll get off my hobby horse and let you return to more enjoyable reindeer games...
At any rate, his introduction begins with his discontent when he's sitting in an airplane waiting to take off, and he hears a man say the word "f**k" right into a cellphone. Seriously -- right there in front of everyone! And nobody says anything!
In today's world, some anonymous guy dropping the F-bomb in a crowded airplane doesn't move the needle on the give-a-crap meter. . . . you just sit there and either make believe you didn't hear what you and everybody else just heard or tell yourself it's no big deal. But the truth is, it's getting harder and harder to tell myself that stuff like this is no big deal.
My first reaction was, "Huh? Why the asterisks? Is 'fuck' really any less fucky because two of the letters are hidden? Do you honestly believe that you've used the word any less than that guy because you punctuated it oddly while still enjoying the thrill of letting us know exactly what word was used?" Then I wondered why he kept the 'k', seeing as how we usually think of it as the 'f-dash-dash-dash' word... until I realized: he's aiming at an audience for whom 'f---' could be either 'fuck' or 'fart'. Holy tone-setting shit, Batman.
My second reaction -- the one I actually thought about -- was, "But it actually isn't a big deal." Nobody was harmed by that particular choice of word. I could argue that they were harmed by having to listen to some self-important jackass yammering away in public on his cell phone, but that's not up for discussion. Now, there are indeed contexts in which I find really uncomfortable hearing the word 'fuck' in public, but they generally have to do with people being red in the face and screaming them, rather than just dropping them casually into a conversation they're not having with me. And that's not because they chose the word 'fuck', but because I'm not comfortable with extreme displays of emotion in public, and I'm nervous around people who have lost their self-control and are teetering on the edge of violence. It's more disturbing to me to hear someone shout directly into a child's ear, clearly on the edge of smacking them, than it would be to have the pilot of the airplane announce casually over the PA system, "By the way, last night after I spanked it, I ate a large glob of my own fuck."
Finally, Mr. Goldberg: "give-a-crap"? Isn't this exactly the sort of gratuitous scatological reference you think that we unwashed heathens ought to be punished for? Or am I to believe that 'crap' is a far more benign substance than 'shit', because on the eighth day the Lord created the Hierarchy of Euphemisms, under which it doesn't matter at all what you talk about, so long as you use a nicer sequence of phonemes to produce the exact same image?
After that lament, Mr. Goldberg wants to make it clear that he's not calling for a return to days when black people, gays, and other minorities were harassed by jerks. That's commendable, and I've witnessed enough silly people on my side of the political spectrum to understand why he might be defensive. But then he goes on to list examples of things we tolerate today that he's not okay with:
- the endless junior-high sex jokes on Will & Grace -- which I'll have to take his word for, since I've never watched a full episode, and I'm just about 100% successful in not watching shows I choose not to. (I might note that junior high is pretty much the exact age at which I was most able to tolerate situation comedies, so I'm not sure that an endless string of junior-high sex jokes would be inappropriate...)
- the farting contests on Howard Stern's show -- which, again I'll have to take his word for, because I don't find Howard Stern terribly amusing, so I don't listen to him (or watch him, or whatever media he's available on these days). Personally, I think that a good barnstormer of a farting contest would be a heck of a lot funnier than most of the Stern fare I've encountered, which seems to revolve around being cruel to the socially awkward.
- rap lyrics on the radio that go on about slitting the bitch's throat and tossing her dead ass out the window -- which I'm very skeptical that Mr. Goldberg has ever been so fortunate as to hear on the radio. While there's plenty of poo available to be scraped out of the bottom of the rapcan, I've yet to hear any bitch-slitting lyrics right there on the radio. Lots of dumb, vapid crap, yes; but bitch-slitting? not so much. Perhaps he can suggest a better station.
- those nauseating paternity-test theme shows that Maury Povich puts on the air every other day, featuring losers trying to figure out who knocked them up -- which, when considered in the light of the lack of any criticism for the hypothetical losers actually doing the hypothetical knocking-up, tells you just about all you need to know about Mr. Goldberg's opinion of women. (Blacks and gays are safe from random jerks in his world, but women are special.)
And that's where I'll stop for now, because the next thing he goes off on is Janet Jackson's titty (huh huh, I said 'goes off'), and boy howdy, do I have a bit to say about that. So I'll get off my hobby horse and let you return to more enjoyable reindeer games...