(no subject)
The Mirror:
They say you can tell a lot about a person based on there music, there wallet and places the go, people they hang out with.
Well DUH! But now I am actively thinking about it. The only think it tells me is: I really don’t fit in anywhere. Been hanging out with charity a lot she is one of the few people who I have trouble talking to but who I can reflect with, which is nice.
I find myself becoming shyer, not necessarily in a bad way just now I’m trying to have interesting/intelligent conversation with people, which is hard because I really don’t have anything interesting things say. The intelligent is usually way over people head… you can thank my engineering background for that!
So I am working on gaining actual confidence.
Which, I don’t actually know if its work but we will see. I cut my hair differently I have a semi fohawk, which when worn correct with the proper attire. Make me look European...Or really gay depending on how you look at it. I’m probably going to regret saying this but…. I do like the alternative style. In a crowd of straight guy, I stand out. (Attention whore… can you blame me, only child)
So after talking with charity for a while (she slept over) she said something interesting, she mention that on a playing field of mates. I’m in the wrong league. Oh hell yeah!. Analogy wise: hunting. There small game (where I should be) the big game (where I’m at).
Her description:
Big game: predator vs. prey sorority/fraternity chase. Like your classic going to high life clubs find your choice among the group and going for the kill. Like the hottest of the hot girls.
Small game: would be private party small get-togethers where you can easily make friends. And maybe grab a number that night that hopefully lead it to something bigger. Not the hottest girl but there cute friends.
I play on the big game field but in no way I’m I equipped for it.
I despise the small game (to long to explain why)
So I’m trapped between the two
I find my life interesting, but I don’t know if it actually is.
They say you can tell a lot about a person based on there music, there wallet and places the go, people they hang out with.
Well DUH! But now I am actively thinking about it. The only think it tells me is: I really don’t fit in anywhere. Been hanging out with charity a lot she is one of the few people who I have trouble talking to but who I can reflect with, which is nice.
I find myself becoming shyer, not necessarily in a bad way just now I’m trying to have interesting/intelligent conversation with people, which is hard because I really don’t have anything interesting things say. The intelligent is usually way over people head… you can thank my engineering background for that!
So I am working on gaining actual confidence.
Which, I don’t actually know if its work but we will see. I cut my hair differently I have a semi fohawk, which when worn correct with the proper attire. Make me look European...Or really gay depending on how you look at it. I’m probably going to regret saying this but…. I do like the alternative style. In a crowd of straight guy, I stand out. (Attention whore… can you blame me, only child)
So after talking with charity for a while (she slept over) she said something interesting, she mention that on a playing field of mates. I’m in the wrong league. Oh hell yeah!. Analogy wise: hunting. There small game (where I should be) the big game (where I’m at).
Her description:
Big game: predator vs. prey sorority/fraternity chase. Like your classic going to high life clubs find your choice among the group and going for the kill. Like the hottest of the hot girls.
Small game: would be private party small get-togethers where you can easily make friends. And maybe grab a number that night that hopefully lead it to something bigger. Not the hottest girl but there cute friends.
I play on the big game field but in no way I’m I equipped for it.
I despise the small game (to long to explain why)
So I’m trapped between the two
I find my life interesting, but I don’t know if it actually is.