Seeking ideas
I have been having lots of luck in the past with "psychological magick," using the outside world at night to represent my inner world and therefore play-act a trip into my inner world in an attempt to heal myself. It's worked so far on one member, Pi, who was very scared and kept to himself for a very long time. Now I have two other projects, but they're both a bit more of a challenge for different reasons, and I'm seeking ideas about how to deal with them. They're kind of connected, too, which increases the complexity.
The first project is an Aspect of myself I call Alexander. When he was first "born," he was very rational, calm, and a very nice person. Kind, compassionate, open-minded, spiritual, yet logical and grounded and scientific. Somewhere in that first year, for reasons we haven't been able to fully identify, he morphed from that to being cantankerous, dogmatic, skeptical, agnostic to the point of nearly being atheist, and somewhat of an asshole. All we've been able to figure out is that these were parts of my personality I had rejected some years before Alex was born, and were floating in the internal void, and for whatever reason latched themselves onto this new personality. I've been working on ways of trying to purge or modify these parts of him and mold him back to his original personality, which is something he wants too, because the worst of these behaviors are maladaptive and are building pressure towards and eventual breakdown of order within the system. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to share.
The second project is related because part of what's wrong with Alexander is that something called The Pit attached itself to him. Short for The Pit of Despair, it is a place inside me where all emotions I can't deal with (intense fear, sorrow, confusion, stress, etc.) get shunted to by what I call The Breaker. Basically, whenever those kinds of emotions get to the point where they're about to make me cry, they immediately vanish into The Pit. The Pit is decades in the making, and in my visits to it via my psychological magick workings has always appeared as a toxic sludge pit hidden in the shadows. I want to heal this part of myself for many reasons, including a desire for wholeness but also because I know that eventually The Pit will poison the system. In fact, as Alexander's behavior shows, it already is.
The Pit once sent me an Aspect named Pi. I used to believe Pi *was* The Pit, but now I know he just came from The Pit. It seems he'd been living there a long time. Now I know I could personify The Pit, and have a little bit in recent workings, but I'm wary of doing so because in my last working it became clear (The Pit outright *said* so) that it intended to create new Aspects for me to work with with the intention of exhausting me. Now, while I did defiantly say I would heal them all until it drained itself of every ounce of power, I really would rather not. That would be a lot of work. I want to get to the root of the problem and heal The Pit.
I have determined that one way to combat The Pit is to stop feeding it. But it's very hard, and I need tips on how to do that. Because the process is automatic - none of my conscious Aspects have any control over it. We can resist, but our resistence is difficult due to the emotional state I'm in when this kind of thing happens. I thought maybe banishing with laughter, too, but I'm not sure if that would really work or if it would just be a way of covering up the process.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Cross-posted a few places.
The first project is an Aspect of myself I call Alexander. When he was first "born," he was very rational, calm, and a very nice person. Kind, compassionate, open-minded, spiritual, yet logical and grounded and scientific. Somewhere in that first year, for reasons we haven't been able to fully identify, he morphed from that to being cantankerous, dogmatic, skeptical, agnostic to the point of nearly being atheist, and somewhat of an asshole. All we've been able to figure out is that these were parts of my personality I had rejected some years before Alex was born, and were floating in the internal void, and for whatever reason latched themselves onto this new personality. I've been working on ways of trying to purge or modify these parts of him and mold him back to his original personality, which is something he wants too, because the worst of these behaviors are maladaptive and are building pressure towards and eventual breakdown of order within the system. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to share.
The second project is related because part of what's wrong with Alexander is that something called The Pit attached itself to him. Short for The Pit of Despair, it is a place inside me where all emotions I can't deal with (intense fear, sorrow, confusion, stress, etc.) get shunted to by what I call The Breaker. Basically, whenever those kinds of emotions get to the point where they're about to make me cry, they immediately vanish into The Pit. The Pit is decades in the making, and in my visits to it via my psychological magick workings has always appeared as a toxic sludge pit hidden in the shadows. I want to heal this part of myself for many reasons, including a desire for wholeness but also because I know that eventually The Pit will poison the system. In fact, as Alexander's behavior shows, it already is.
The Pit once sent me an Aspect named Pi. I used to believe Pi *was* The Pit, but now I know he just came from The Pit. It seems he'd been living there a long time. Now I know I could personify The Pit, and have a little bit in recent workings, but I'm wary of doing so because in my last working it became clear (The Pit outright *said* so) that it intended to create new Aspects for me to work with with the intention of exhausting me. Now, while I did defiantly say I would heal them all until it drained itself of every ounce of power, I really would rather not. That would be a lot of work. I want to get to the root of the problem and heal The Pit.
I have determined that one way to combat The Pit is to stop feeding it. But it's very hard, and I need tips on how to do that. Because the process is automatic - none of my conscious Aspects have any control over it. We can resist, but our resistence is difficult due to the emotional state I'm in when this kind of thing happens. I thought maybe banishing with laughter, too, but I'm not sure if that would really work or if it would just be a way of covering up the process.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Cross-posted a few places.