Raven/Lucius indulgence
Inspired by chalaine's recent interest in this pairing. It's just a little bit for now, but who knows where this is going. Maybe nowhere. I just felt like writing something romantic for them, I guess. :)
"Konyakusha" is the Japanese word for fiance. I love it because the three characters in the word mean marriage, promise, and person, respectively. So, literally, the person I promised to marry. Something about it felt right for the title.
Oh, and I don't normally put fics to music, but the excerpt at the beginning is from the lyrics to the Toad the Wet Sprocket song, "Begin". For some reason, that song really reminds me of Lucius. I recommend listening to it if you can, because the music is quite haunting, but Toad songs are really hard to find these days. So if you want it, just AIM me and I'll send you the MP3.
~Konyakusha~
Are you given vision
Are you second sight
Are you older than your life
Eighty days of sorrow
Endless more in sight
Still you child burn bright
---
It had been four months and twenty-one days since Raven had left Lord Hector of Ostia and his army behind. He had tried to leave Lucius behind as well, but the man wouldn't have it and three days later tracked him down in an inn near the Caerleon family manor. The following day they'd said their goodbyes to Lady Priscilla and left together.
It had been thirteen days since they'd last seen a town. A small mountain range lay between them and Cornwell proper, and the only easily reachable pass was closed for the winter. So they made their way around, following a jagged trail that led them through a wide, lonely forest on the southern edge of what used to be Raven's legacy.
They now sat alone, huddled close to a fire in a dark clearing at the beginning of another night. It was three days until Christmas.
"Lucius." Raven said, after a long silence. He shifted and bundled his heavy winter cloak around his body.
"Yes, Lord Raymond?" The fair man looked up from the book he'd been reading by the firelight. Light snow fell around them and Raymond could tell that his friend was shivering.
"Why are you here?"
His blue eyes blinked. "Well, because I want to be here." He closed his book and folded his hands over the cover gently. "Why do you ask?"
Raven watched the firelight flicker across his companion's face. Though Lucius's hood covered most of his head, wisps of his pale hair fell loose around his face and shone gold in the warm light. Snowflakes dusted his blue outer cloak, which matched the color in the deepest part of his eyes. He looked like a statue left forgotten in the cold courtyard of a high, secluded monastery. Something beat at the inside of Raven's breast and he furrowed his brow, turning his gaze down to the fire.
"Are you cold?" he asked gruffly.
Lucius smiled. "A little," he admitted. "But it's still a lovely night, don't you think? And the fire keeps me warm."
Raven fed another branch to the modest flame. "You're shivering," he said.
"It's nothing-"
"This is no kind of life for you," he interrupted, focusing intently on the fire. "You say you want to be here, but it doesn't change anything. This isn't where you belong."
"Lord Raymond?" A note of concern sounded in his voice. "Why are you saying these things?"
Raven leaned back and closed his eyes. "We're going to Cornwell. I'm going to take control of what's left of my parent's estate. You knew that, right?"
Lucius nodded. "Yes, you have said as much."
"But," Raven paused. "I haven't said that I don't plan to stay there."
"I don't think I understand."
"My family was ruined in the scandal with the council. We still have our lands, what is left of the manor, but beyond that there is nothing left of House Cornwell. No lordship, no titles, no honor." He grimaced and silenced his rising voice. He continued quietly. "You call me 'Lord Raymond', but I am no lord, Lucius. I am nothing but a wandering mercenary, and once I've sold the remainder of our assets, I'm going to go back on the road."
Lucius didn't say anything, just regarded him evenly over the fire. "I understand," he said after a long moment. "Then I shall support you in whatever you choose to do."
"I'm going to keep some land on the southeast corner of the manor grounds. There's a small plot there where the groundskeeper used to raise vegetables, do you remember it?"
"I do, though it's been almost three years."
"The old man writes me sometimes. He says the land is still good. I want to give it to you. You could live... comfortably. Safely."
"But that's not what I want," Lucius objected, realization dawning in his voice. "You mean for me to stay in Cornwell while you go on your travels? I cannot accept that!"
Raven closed his eyes and set his jaw. "You have no place in my service, Lucius. I'm a commoner now. Stop being so stubborn for once in your life and take what I am giving you."
Lucius was silent a moment, then stood and walked softly to where Raymond was sitting. He knelt and leaned in to look at his friend. Raven reluctantly opened his eyes to meet Lucius's gaze. His eyes were bright and his nose and cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. "Lord Raymond," he said gently, stilling his partner's objections with one finger pressed against his lips. The unexpected contact drew a sharp breath from Raven, who felt as though all the air had suddenly been knocked from his body. A strange drunkenness took over his mind and he lost track of what he had been meaning to say.
"Lord Raymond," Lucius continued. "Your house has been broken. Your family name has been stripped. I have long known this to be true." His blue eyes shone in the flickering flamelight. Raven looked back at him, his face a mixture of regret and wonder. "Yet I have remained in your service. You may not be the heir to House Cornwell anymore, but you are still my lord," he insisted quietly. "And I will not leave you."
Raven found his voice somewhere deep in his throat. "Why?" he asked hoarsely. "Why do you persist?"
Lucius smiled gently. "Do you really know so little about yourself, that you do not know the answer to that question?"
Raven's eyes softened. "Lucius," he whispered, raising his hand to move Lucius's finger from his lips. He inhaled sharply and quickly covered the man's hands with his own. "Your hands are freezing," he said, his brow furrowed in concern.
"I... hadn't noticed," Lucius said, a sudden shyness showing in his face. He withdrew his hands delicately and folded them under his cloak. His eyes slid down to his lap, then to the side as he sat back on his heels. "I'm sorry. I should not have been so forward." He started to stand, but Raven caught him and brought him back down again. "Lord Ray-" he started to say, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Sit down," Raven ordered. "Closer to the fire, here." He stripped off his heavy cloak and draped it around the smaller man's shoulders. "And stop talking," he said in response to a stream of objections from Lucius.
"But you'll freeze, and I-"
"I don't need it as much as you. Look, you're shivering." He settled in front of Lucius and rubbed his arms to warm them.
"It's not-"
"Lucius," he growled. "If you do not shut your mouth, I will do it for you."
"But I-"
"That's it," he said, and before he knew what he was doing, he had leaned forward and pressed his lips tightly against Lucius's. The man made a small noise, then fell silent, returning the kiss gently, almost hesitantly. Raven's head spun as he accustomed to the sensation, first adjusting to the feel and taste of it, then the sweet smell of anise seed that lingered on his breath. Last of all did he realize that the most beautiful person he'd ever known was actually kissing him back.
That thought broke him. "Lucius," he murmured hoarsely, wrapping his arms tightly around the man's shoulders. Lucius cried out softly against his lips, but Raven silenced him quickly, kissing him now as though there were nothing else. Snow fell delicately around them, melting instantly where it touched their flushed skin. Raven ran one hand down to the small of Lucius's back, causing him to inhale sharply and deepen his kisses beyond mere politeness. The cold night dropped away as Raven indulged in his dear companion, searching to memorize every line of his face, every contour of his mouth. For so long I have loved you, he thought, his heart singing.
"Lord Raymond," Lucius gasped, taking an opportunity to break away for air. "Why... why?" His chest was rising and falling quickly in time with his hasted breathing. His hands were pressed against Raven's chest, and he looked up with shining, vulnerable eyes.
"Lucius," Raven whispered, brushing aside a stray piece of hair that had stuck to his companion's cheek. "Do you really know so little about yourself, that you do not know the answer to that question?" He closed his eyes and kissed the man very gently on the forehead. "There is so much about you to love," he murmured.
The soft sound of crying startled him. He looked down in surprise and concern to see that Lucius was shaking, his eyes filled with tears. "What's wrong?" he asked frantically. "Are you alright?"
Lucius shook his head, wiping his eyes with his hands. "I'm sorry," he said raggedly. "But I fear that this is cannot be real, and I fear waking alone to find that it was only a dream." He sniffled and leaned against Raven's chest. "Or that you've sent me away, and it was just a fantasy. Lord Raymond..."
"Lucius." Raven smiled gently and tilted his chin up with one hand, taking in his delicate features and tear-soaked eyes. "You are so beautiful."
Lucius looked up in surprise, then blushed deeply. "Lord Raymond," he whispered, looking away. "Please don't... I can't..."
Hmm, that seems like a good place to end it... *fans herself* Mah goodness! Ah do believe ah'm gettin' the vapors!
"Konyakusha" is the Japanese word for fiance. I love it because the three characters in the word mean marriage, promise, and person, respectively. So, literally, the person I promised to marry. Something about it felt right for the title.
Oh, and I don't normally put fics to music, but the excerpt at the beginning is from the lyrics to the Toad the Wet Sprocket song, "Begin". For some reason, that song really reminds me of Lucius. I recommend listening to it if you can, because the music is quite haunting, but Toad songs are really hard to find these days. So if you want it, just AIM me and I'll send you the MP3.
~Konyakusha~
Are you given vision
Are you second sight
Are you older than your life
Eighty days of sorrow
Endless more in sight
Still you child burn bright
---
It had been four months and twenty-one days since Raven had left Lord Hector of Ostia and his army behind. He had tried to leave Lucius behind as well, but the man wouldn't have it and three days later tracked him down in an inn near the Caerleon family manor. The following day they'd said their goodbyes to Lady Priscilla and left together.
It had been thirteen days since they'd last seen a town. A small mountain range lay between them and Cornwell proper, and the only easily reachable pass was closed for the winter. So they made their way around, following a jagged trail that led them through a wide, lonely forest on the southern edge of what used to be Raven's legacy.
They now sat alone, huddled close to a fire in a dark clearing at the beginning of another night. It was three days until Christmas.
"Lucius." Raven said, after a long silence. He shifted and bundled his heavy winter cloak around his body.
"Yes, Lord Raymond?" The fair man looked up from the book he'd been reading by the firelight. Light snow fell around them and Raymond could tell that his friend was shivering.
"Why are you here?"
His blue eyes blinked. "Well, because I want to be here." He closed his book and folded his hands over the cover gently. "Why do you ask?"
Raven watched the firelight flicker across his companion's face. Though Lucius's hood covered most of his head, wisps of his pale hair fell loose around his face and shone gold in the warm light. Snowflakes dusted his blue outer cloak, which matched the color in the deepest part of his eyes. He looked like a statue left forgotten in the cold courtyard of a high, secluded monastery. Something beat at the inside of Raven's breast and he furrowed his brow, turning his gaze down to the fire.
"Are you cold?" he asked gruffly.
Lucius smiled. "A little," he admitted. "But it's still a lovely night, don't you think? And the fire keeps me warm."
Raven fed another branch to the modest flame. "You're shivering," he said.
"It's nothing-"
"This is no kind of life for you," he interrupted, focusing intently on the fire. "You say you want to be here, but it doesn't change anything. This isn't where you belong."
"Lord Raymond?" A note of concern sounded in his voice. "Why are you saying these things?"
Raven leaned back and closed his eyes. "We're going to Cornwell. I'm going to take control of what's left of my parent's estate. You knew that, right?"
Lucius nodded. "Yes, you have said as much."
"But," Raven paused. "I haven't said that I don't plan to stay there."
"I don't think I understand."
"My family was ruined in the scandal with the council. We still have our lands, what is left of the manor, but beyond that there is nothing left of House Cornwell. No lordship, no titles, no honor." He grimaced and silenced his rising voice. He continued quietly. "You call me 'Lord Raymond', but I am no lord, Lucius. I am nothing but a wandering mercenary, and once I've sold the remainder of our assets, I'm going to go back on the road."
Lucius didn't say anything, just regarded him evenly over the fire. "I understand," he said after a long moment. "Then I shall support you in whatever you choose to do."
"I'm going to keep some land on the southeast corner of the manor grounds. There's a small plot there where the groundskeeper used to raise vegetables, do you remember it?"
"I do, though it's been almost three years."
"The old man writes me sometimes. He says the land is still good. I want to give it to you. You could live... comfortably. Safely."
"But that's not what I want," Lucius objected, realization dawning in his voice. "You mean for me to stay in Cornwell while you go on your travels? I cannot accept that!"
Raven closed his eyes and set his jaw. "You have no place in my service, Lucius. I'm a commoner now. Stop being so stubborn for once in your life and take what I am giving you."
Lucius was silent a moment, then stood and walked softly to where Raymond was sitting. He knelt and leaned in to look at his friend. Raven reluctantly opened his eyes to meet Lucius's gaze. His eyes were bright and his nose and cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. "Lord Raymond," he said gently, stilling his partner's objections with one finger pressed against his lips. The unexpected contact drew a sharp breath from Raven, who felt as though all the air had suddenly been knocked from his body. A strange drunkenness took over his mind and he lost track of what he had been meaning to say.
"Lord Raymond," Lucius continued. "Your house has been broken. Your family name has been stripped. I have long known this to be true." His blue eyes shone in the flickering flamelight. Raven looked back at him, his face a mixture of regret and wonder. "Yet I have remained in your service. You may not be the heir to House Cornwell anymore, but you are still my lord," he insisted quietly. "And I will not leave you."
Raven found his voice somewhere deep in his throat. "Why?" he asked hoarsely. "Why do you persist?"
Lucius smiled gently. "Do you really know so little about yourself, that you do not know the answer to that question?"
Raven's eyes softened. "Lucius," he whispered, raising his hand to move Lucius's finger from his lips. He inhaled sharply and quickly covered the man's hands with his own. "Your hands are freezing," he said, his brow furrowed in concern.
"I... hadn't noticed," Lucius said, a sudden shyness showing in his face. He withdrew his hands delicately and folded them under his cloak. His eyes slid down to his lap, then to the side as he sat back on his heels. "I'm sorry. I should not have been so forward." He started to stand, but Raven caught him and brought him back down again. "Lord Ray-" he started to say, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Sit down," Raven ordered. "Closer to the fire, here." He stripped off his heavy cloak and draped it around the smaller man's shoulders. "And stop talking," he said in response to a stream of objections from Lucius.
"But you'll freeze, and I-"
"I don't need it as much as you. Look, you're shivering." He settled in front of Lucius and rubbed his arms to warm them.
"It's not-"
"Lucius," he growled. "If you do not shut your mouth, I will do it for you."
"But I-"
"That's it," he said, and before he knew what he was doing, he had leaned forward and pressed his lips tightly against Lucius's. The man made a small noise, then fell silent, returning the kiss gently, almost hesitantly. Raven's head spun as he accustomed to the sensation, first adjusting to the feel and taste of it, then the sweet smell of anise seed that lingered on his breath. Last of all did he realize that the most beautiful person he'd ever known was actually kissing him back.
That thought broke him. "Lucius," he murmured hoarsely, wrapping his arms tightly around the man's shoulders. Lucius cried out softly against his lips, but Raven silenced him quickly, kissing him now as though there were nothing else. Snow fell delicately around them, melting instantly where it touched their flushed skin. Raven ran one hand down to the small of Lucius's back, causing him to inhale sharply and deepen his kisses beyond mere politeness. The cold night dropped away as Raven indulged in his dear companion, searching to memorize every line of his face, every contour of his mouth. For so long I have loved you, he thought, his heart singing.
"Lord Raymond," Lucius gasped, taking an opportunity to break away for air. "Why... why?" His chest was rising and falling quickly in time with his hasted breathing. His hands were pressed against Raven's chest, and he looked up with shining, vulnerable eyes.
"Lucius," Raven whispered, brushing aside a stray piece of hair that had stuck to his companion's cheek. "Do you really know so little about yourself, that you do not know the answer to that question?" He closed his eyes and kissed the man very gently on the forehead. "There is so much about you to love," he murmured.
The soft sound of crying startled him. He looked down in surprise and concern to see that Lucius was shaking, his eyes filled with tears. "What's wrong?" he asked frantically. "Are you alright?"
Lucius shook his head, wiping his eyes with his hands. "I'm sorry," he said raggedly. "But I fear that this is cannot be real, and I fear waking alone to find that it was only a dream." He sniffled and leaned against Raven's chest. "Or that you've sent me away, and it was just a fantasy. Lord Raymond..."
"Lucius." Raven smiled gently and tilted his chin up with one hand, taking in his delicate features and tear-soaked eyes. "You are so beautiful."
Lucius looked up in surprise, then blushed deeply. "Lord Raymond," he whispered, looking away. "Please don't... I can't..."
Hmm, that seems like a good place to end it... *fans herself* Mah goodness! Ah do believe ah'm gettin' the vapors!