Hospital
ok... the time has come... Im going to be admitted to the hospital at the beginning of next week, My mom is scared of what i am capable of, either hurting myself or others. She may not have seen or noticed, but I seem to have already done some rash things and Im scared, scared of myself. that shouldnt be the way it is but thats how it goes. Now that everything in my past has surfaced im afraid of what i might do. I never really thought about these things til now. Never has a reason to, I felt safe, stable, but now that my whole world has come crashing down around me, the sound if deafening. I am frightened by what my mind tells me. Hopefully i dont end up there not by my own means over the weekend, because if that happens ill never get out ever... they will keep me. strapped to a bed like someone who is nothing. maybe thatll be ok though. because i am nothing right