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I was thinking today about everything and anything which is a current issue worth any sort of thought in my life. I pondered and contemplated several different possible life outcomes based on future actions made by me. If I finish school, will I enjoy my career choice? Will it be rewarding? Will I feel I've made a difference in peoples' lives? Or will I regret the path I'd chosen to follow, lifelessly meandering around in some hopeless hospital, death and disease surrounding me?
If I skip town with good intentions of travel and experience, will it be fulfilling, or simply leave a void in my heart one day when I'm 45 and I could quite possibly resent those who chose to live the "american dream" with the house and the husband and 3 kids?
If I continue to stay interested in him, will he upset me? Will he ruin a few months of my life by turning me into a dependent waste who no longer acts without some feeling of support? Or will I learn his flaws and become entirely disgusted by the fact that he ever drew me in close enough to get to know the depths who I truly am.
I explore these thoughts at night, over and over in my mind, and on an average day it will all end with my realization that none of this really fucking matters and tomorrow is supposed to be nice out so I had better get some sleep so that I can wake up early to pack some shit and take advantage of the sunshine and fresh air before the day comes where I die by crashing into a semi on my way to work while texting people who probably aren't alive anyways.
Goodnight.
If I skip town with good intentions of travel and experience, will it be fulfilling, or simply leave a void in my heart one day when I'm 45 and I could quite possibly resent those who chose to live the "american dream" with the house and the husband and 3 kids?
If I continue to stay interested in him, will he upset me? Will he ruin a few months of my life by turning me into a dependent waste who no longer acts without some feeling of support? Or will I learn his flaws and become entirely disgusted by the fact that he ever drew me in close enough to get to know the depths who I truly am.
I explore these thoughts at night, over and over in my mind, and on an average day it will all end with my realization that none of this really fucking matters and tomorrow is supposed to be nice out so I had better get some sleep so that I can wake up early to pack some shit and take advantage of the sunshine and fresh air before the day comes where I die by crashing into a semi on my way to work while texting people who probably aren't alive anyways.
Goodnight.