(no subject)
I'm resurrecting my LiveJournal. I don't want to emo all over facebook, 'cause most of my posts have all been bitchy complaints mostly. I come out of facebook lurk mode every now and then to post about something shitty that happened to me that day. It's very negative, and I know people hate that kind of thing. So I stopped updating my status.
Now I want someplace private to bitch and cry, where it isn't facebook, i don't have to write in a book, and my husband (or anyone that I'm close to) won't see it.
Currently downloading 3000 photos that I took when I was in the UK. Very nostalgic and saddening that I had to leave. The way I feel right now (trapped), I would give anything to go back there. Alone.
I love Mike, but since he's been injured and out of work, he's always there. There is a thing about too much togetherness. I don't have friends I can just pop out with. We're each other's friend, and unfortunately for both of us, that's it. We count Nate and Liz, and Bryan, as friends, but they're not friends that we just go out to dinner with, grab a coffee, grab a movie, whatever. I think I need to take up my bike riding again, just so i can get away for a couple hours (and not be at work).
And now I've been crying. Been doing that a little more lately. Dredging up bad things that should stay in the past, but my stupid brain keeps finding them and making me relive them in all the depressing glory. Mike is sleeping on the couch as I'm typing. I'm glad he's sleeping, because he can't always sleep. So I'm letting him sleep. Problem is, when he wakes up and sees that I've been crying he'll ask me what's wrong, and then I'll say what's wrong and start crying even more.
So this is where I leave off, so I can get out of the room and try to avoid that.
Now I want someplace private to bitch and cry, where it isn't facebook, i don't have to write in a book, and my husband (or anyone that I'm close to) won't see it.
Currently downloading 3000 photos that I took when I was in the UK. Very nostalgic and saddening that I had to leave. The way I feel right now (trapped), I would give anything to go back there. Alone.
I love Mike, but since he's been injured and out of work, he's always there. There is a thing about too much togetherness. I don't have friends I can just pop out with. We're each other's friend, and unfortunately for both of us, that's it. We count Nate and Liz, and Bryan, as friends, but they're not friends that we just go out to dinner with, grab a coffee, grab a movie, whatever. I think I need to take up my bike riding again, just so i can get away for a couple hours (and not be at work).
And now I've been crying. Been doing that a little more lately. Dredging up bad things that should stay in the past, but my stupid brain keeps finding them and making me relive them in all the depressing glory. Mike is sleeping on the couch as I'm typing. I'm glad he's sleeping, because he can't always sleep. So I'm letting him sleep. Problem is, when he wakes up and sees that I've been crying he'll ask me what's wrong, and then I'll say what's wrong and start crying even more.
So this is where I leave off, so I can get out of the room and try to avoid that.