(no subject)
Ah fuck all these touchy people. They irritate the fuck out of me. Arrgh. Shut the hell up and sorry for giving any sort of shit in the past, I will make sure I don't give a shit in the future. Oh yeah, and these drama queens I seem to be surrounded with, fuck off. I don't care, I don't want to care, I don't want you as friends anymore. Fuck fuck fuck a duck.
I'm not open-minded, I'm not accepting, so don't expect me to be. I try, I really do try very hard, but the fact remains, I hate people and they hate me. I seriously doubt that will ever change. Don't be my friend, I'm a bad person. I am horrible and negative. Fuck you, I'm telling you NOW, don't be my friend, you will hate me just as everyone else does. The only people I seem to get along with are people that hate other people just as much as I do. I'm even too anti-social for Corey.
I hope I don't become self-destructive. That would be bad. But it seems like sometimes I'm well on my way to becoming that.
I hate myself for being so hateful. I hate myself because I am just never fucking good enough.
I don't understand what anyone sees in me. I don't even have my looks going for me. Maybe I should become a serial killer. I think that would be fun. At least for a while. Then the guilt would set in and I'd probably kill myself. No fun.
None of my friends are good friends. I've thought about it. None of them have ever done shit for me, regardless of how much I've done for them. I don't want to be Thomas' friend anymore because he fucking sucks and I'm sure he talks shit about me anyway. I'm sure everyone does. No one likes me and generally I'm fine with that. But not when it's the people that are supposed to be your friends. I am sick and fucking tired of hanging out with people that are going to go absolutly nowhere, people that don't understand ANYTHING about me and couldn't care to understand anyway.
They take and take and take. 'No Thomas, I don't feel like buying beer, I don't even feel like drinking beer at all' (this is the part where he tries to convince me I actually want to go out and drink) 'NO, fuck you, I ALWAYS buy the alcohol, you've done it a collective of TWO times. I'm NOT going to do it' (More begging and telling me I suck).
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
The times I've felt bad about something and tried to talk to any of my friends they just kind of work their way around it so they don't have to deal with it, often changing the subject or talking about themselves. Even though I talk to them for endless amounts of time about their problems.
I don't think it's selfish to ask for a little fucking support as a friend. But apparently it is.
So this is it. I'm cutting off contact with everyone I don't want to talk to anymore. It's been fun, but it's not anymore so fuck off and leave me alone. I'll contact you if I want to hang out so don't even fucking ask.
I thank Corey endlessly for truly loving me and caring enough to listen to everything I have to say. He's the only one I've opened up to, the only one I want to open up to because he's the only one who cares. I love him more than anything in the world. He is one of the few people that actually matter to me. He's the only thing keeping me from falling off the edge.
As of right now, these are people I consider friends: Corey, Corey's family, Joe, Mattie, cool Sean (we don't talk enough), Rosalie, LA Robert aaaand that's about it. Everyone else is either a drama queen, an aquaintence, a total loser, or really fucking annoying.
I'm not open-minded, I'm not accepting, so don't expect me to be. I try, I really do try very hard, but the fact remains, I hate people and they hate me. I seriously doubt that will ever change. Don't be my friend, I'm a bad person. I am horrible and negative. Fuck you, I'm telling you NOW, don't be my friend, you will hate me just as everyone else does. The only people I seem to get along with are people that hate other people just as much as I do. I'm even too anti-social for Corey.
I hope I don't become self-destructive. That would be bad. But it seems like sometimes I'm well on my way to becoming that.
I hate myself for being so hateful. I hate myself because I am just never fucking good enough.
I don't understand what anyone sees in me. I don't even have my looks going for me. Maybe I should become a serial killer. I think that would be fun. At least for a while. Then the guilt would set in and I'd probably kill myself. No fun.
None of my friends are good friends. I've thought about it. None of them have ever done shit for me, regardless of how much I've done for them. I don't want to be Thomas' friend anymore because he fucking sucks and I'm sure he talks shit about me anyway. I'm sure everyone does. No one likes me and generally I'm fine with that. But not when it's the people that are supposed to be your friends. I am sick and fucking tired of hanging out with people that are going to go absolutly nowhere, people that don't understand ANYTHING about me and couldn't care to understand anyway.
They take and take and take. 'No Thomas, I don't feel like buying beer, I don't even feel like drinking beer at all' (this is the part where he tries to convince me I actually want to go out and drink) 'NO, fuck you, I ALWAYS buy the alcohol, you've done it a collective of TWO times. I'm NOT going to do it' (More begging and telling me I suck).
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
The times I've felt bad about something and tried to talk to any of my friends they just kind of work their way around it so they don't have to deal with it, often changing the subject or talking about themselves. Even though I talk to them for endless amounts of time about their problems.
I don't think it's selfish to ask for a little fucking support as a friend. But apparently it is.
So this is it. I'm cutting off contact with everyone I don't want to talk to anymore. It's been fun, but it's not anymore so fuck off and leave me alone. I'll contact you if I want to hang out so don't even fucking ask.
I thank Corey endlessly for truly loving me and caring enough to listen to everything I have to say. He's the only one I've opened up to, the only one I want to open up to because he's the only one who cares. I love him more than anything in the world. He is one of the few people that actually matter to me. He's the only thing keeping me from falling off the edge.
As of right now, these are people I consider friends: Corey, Corey's family, Joe, Mattie, cool Sean (we don't talk enough), Rosalie, LA Robert aaaand that's about it. Everyone else is either a drama queen, an aquaintence, a total loser, or really fucking annoying.