gaudeamus igitur juvenes dum sumus
Rating: PG-13 (some swearing and minor drug use)
Fandom: U-Kiss
Summary: All in all, a rather uneventful night out on the town.
originally posted here for kpop_olymfics
Title translates to 'Therefore let us rejoice while we are young' and is the first two lines of a song occasionally sung at academic ceremonies; but was apparently originally a Cambridge drinking song.
‘To-‘ Soohyun paused, holding up his fourth shot of the evening, running through all the toasts he’d already made- the most recent one being to holidays. ‘-Stuff. Life.’ He amended quickly, and it appeared to be acceptable, as there was a chorus of reiteration and cheers before six heads tipped back - he decided he’d ignore the snickers emanating from Eli and Dongho. Speaking of Dongho…
‘Maknae, did you take that shot?’ Soohyun demanded, pointing accusingly at Dongho, who rolled his eyes.
‘I’m legal,’ he declared exasperatedly.
‘I don’t believe you,’ Soohyun said with narrowed eyes as mutters of ‘really?’ and ‘only just, surely’ and ‘does it really matter?’ surrounded them.
‘And no, you stole my shotglass,’ Dongho finished.
‘Confiscated,’ Soohyun corrected, nodding in satisfaction.
‘I’m legal,’ Dongho insisted, accepting the shot Kiseop held out to him as soon as Soohyun looked away.
‘Speaking of legal,’ Eli said, reaching into his pockets and digging around.
‘You mean speaking of illegal,’ Hoon sighed and Eli shrugged.
‘Depends on how you look at things,’ Eli said, pulling out a small plastic bag, small pills dusting white powder on the inside innocuously.
‘So what is it?’ Hoon asked.
Eli wrinkled his nose. ‘Not altogether sure. Artane, I think, and Yesung said something about imported Guatemalan tortoise food, but I’m not sure if he was joking or not. Might be some Everest, think there’s some MDMA… I don’t know. He said it’s fun, so I went with it.’
‘Is that safe? It doesn’t sound safe,’ Kevin said doubtfully, side-eyeing the pills Eli was crushing.
‘Yesung wouldn’t sell something he wouldn’t take himself, he’s pretty trustworthy,’ AJ added, opening a two litre bottle of coke and eyeing it before taking a swig. ‘Quite honestly, I think it’s something he’s cooked up himself, and when he said it’s fun, I think that’s what he’s called it.’
‘Why are you drinking coke?’ Kiseop asked AJ, while Kevin’s simultaneous question was directed at Eli.
‘Why are you crushing them?’
AJ and Eli looked at each other and Eli held out his hand for the coke, which AJ relinquished. Eli took a swig of the coke, eyed the level, and splashed a little on the floor.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Kevin cried, bouncing away from the splash.
‘Making some space,’ Eli replied distractedly, carefully pouring the crushed pills into the bottle.
‘That’s not going to fill all that space,’ Hoon replied, one eyebrow raised.
Eli simply reached in the packet on the floor and pulled out a glass bottle, and a chorus of ‘oh’s abounded as he handed AJ the bottle and carefully poured the rum in.
‘Why didn’t you just say so,' Soohyun muttered.
'Cos it's funny when you guys are confused,' Eli replied, and Kiseop nodded furiously in agreement, pausing in peering over Eli's shoulder.
‘So is that mixed or not?’ Soohyun asked briskly, ignoring Eli’s grin as best as possible.
‘Everyone in?’ Eli said with a laugh.
AJ rolled his eyes and Kiseop and Hoon nodded.
‘I’m in,’ Dongho said with a shrug, and Soohyun whipped his head around to look at him.
‘No, you’re not,’ he exclaimed.
‘No, I really am, hyung,’ Dongho replied.
‘No, I’m putting my foot down. Your mother will be so disappointed in me,’ Soohyun said.
‘My mother doesn’t have to know.’ Dongho fixed Soohyun with an incredulous gaze. ‘And since when do you speak to my mother, anyway.’
Soohyun considered this.
‘You argue every time and it’s never-‘ Dongho started, only to have Soohyun cut him off.
‘Okay, fine, whatever, you’re in. I’m in too,’ he added, and Dongho punched the air.
‘It gets easier every time,’ he gloated, and Soohyun felt perfectly within his rights to cuff him across the back of his head.
‘Yeah,’ Kevin said in response to Eli’s questioning look, and Eli grinned as he held the bottle out of reach of Kiseop and AJ’s slyly grasping hands.
‘All right then. Should we have some Fun?’
There was a collective groan at Eli’s grin and a cry of protest as AJ snatched the bottle away from Eli successfully and took a swig.
‘You can’t just-!’
‘Then don’t make lame jokes,’ AJ told Eli, handing the bottle to Kiseop, who gave a contented grin before lifting it to his lips.
Eli’s disgruntled expression brightened when Kiseop handed him the bottle next.
The bottle made its way around the group, and again, and again. More rum was poured in and by the time the last dregs were being drained, voices had gotten exponentially louder and legs a little less stable, and Soohyun had disappeared from the circle- only to be found sitting down, nursing the rum bottle.
Meanwhile, Eli was standing on one leg, his other raised as if supported on a barrel. ‘I won,’ he gloated, grinning down at Soohyun.
‘Okay, so what, you’re better at being Captain Morgan, whatever. My sea legs kicked in and failed me, okay,’ Soohyun sniped, gaining his comfort from the rum. ‘Can I just say, though, I didn’t spill any rum. At all.’
‘While you fell.’
‘It’s impressive!’
‘Not as impressive as my Captain Morgan stance. I could totally be a bar stool if I had to,’ Eli declared.
‘Can I sit on your leg then?’ Kevin asked.
‘No,’ Eli replied instantly, and Kevin pouted.
‘But you said you could be a bar stool.’
‘If I had to, I don’t have to,’ Eli said, before returning his foot to the floor. ‘See, my leg’s down now, I can’t be a bar stool, my leg’s down.’
‘You put your leg down, I won!’ Soohyun cried, scrambling up from the floor, holding the rum bottle aloft in triumph.
‘No, that’s not how the game works, hyung, you still fell down first,’ Eli told him.
‘Well.’ Soohyun stopped. ‘I have rum, so. I feel like I won.’ Soohyun jerked the bottle away from Eli’s outstretched arms. ‘No, you can’t have any. It’s mine.’ He took a swig from the rum bottle and smiled at Eli tauntingly. ‘Mmm, Spiced Gold.’
‘That’s just mean,’ Eli complained.
Soohyun shrugged. ‘I have rum, I don’t care.’
‘Guys, I swear to god I just saw a mermaid,’ Dongho declared loudly, squinting in the direction of the exit of the courtyard they were currently inhabiting.
‘Mermaids are half fish, how would it walk,’ Kevin pointed out.
‘You’re a mermaid,’ AJ mumbled, and Kevin looked affronted.
‘I would make a fantastic mermaid,’ he declared, and Kiseop gave a nod next to him after considering it.
‘No, but, seriously, Dongho, mermaids don’t exist,’ Hoon told him.
‘Well, then there’s a topless girl with a long skirt running around,’ Dongho replied.
‘What, where?’ Eli asked, his eyes snapping away from the rum bottle Soohyun was still monopolising.
‘That way!’ Dongho pointed off into the (relative) darkness.
‘Well, what are you guys waiting for, let’s go!’ Eli encouraged them, already moving in the direction Dongho was pointing.
‘I wish I was a pirate,’ Soohyun announced, as they started to move off.
AJ paused. ‘Why?’ he asked.
‘I like rum,’ Soohyun informed him.
‘Oh.’ AJ considered this reasoning briefly and shrugged. ‘Good a reason as any.’
‘Right?’
‘Where did she go, Dongho!’
‘I can’t see around corners, hyung, I don’t know!’
‘Wait, I think I see blue!’
And the chase was on- although the pace varied between a light jog and a lazy amble, as attentions were distracted and then regained, until they all unanimously came to a stop.
‘Maybe it wasn’t a mermaid,’ Dongho mumbled sheepishly.
‘I don’t even care if it was anymore,’ Kevin said, glancing behind him again.
‘So. Does anyone know the way back to the courtyard?’ AJ asked, and was answered by silence.
‘Now what are we going to do?’ Hoon inquired, looking around for any suggestions. ‘We can’t really just stand here all night next to a half painted wall, that doesn’t seem like much fun.’
‘Man has a point,’ Eli declared.
‘Pirates always have something to do,’ Soohyun sighed mournfully.
‘I thought pirates spent half their time drinking rum,’ Dongho said.
‘That’s something to do,’ Soohyun defended. ‘Whatever, you saw a mermaid.’
Eli brightened up and turned to Soohyun. ‘It was because of the rum, you should probably give it to me,’ he told him seriously.
‘Or… because… drugs…’ AJ trailed off when it became clear neither was listening to him.
‘Yeah, okay,’ Soohyun said, and handed the bottle to a slightly surprised Eli.
‘Wait, that worked? Jackp-‘ Eli’s face fell. ‘It’s empty.’
Soohyun grinned at him. ‘Why would I give it to you if it still had rum in it, what kind of a pirate do you think I am?’
‘Not a pirate?’ AJ suggested, only for his comment to be waved off.
‘I beat you in the Captain Morgan game, so I have more Captain in me than you-‘ Eli started.
‘I have way more Captain in me, I think I drank half that bottle,’ Soohyun interjected.
‘-THUSLY,’ Eli continued loudly, ‘I am more pirate than you. I mean. I’m a better pirate than you.’
‘I know what we can do!’ Kiseop suddenly exclaimed, making Kevin jump slightly.
‘Well?’ Hoon prompted.
‘We can be pirates!’
Soohyun and Eli let out cheers at Kiseop’d declaration.
‘Wait, what do pirates do?’ Kevin asked.
‘Drink rum?’ Dongho suggested.
‘I’m down with that,’ Eli said instantly, and paused, before holding out the empty bottle. ‘But we have no rum.’
Kiseop waved a hand. ‘The rum is secondary.’
There was a chorus of affronted noises.
'No. We shall go on a voyage,' Kiseop said excitedly, pulling out a marker -and exclamations of surprise and confusion from the others ('where did that even come from!')- and started scrawling on the wall, sketching a rudimentary compass rose just above the unpainted patch, and some waves on the other side of it (either that or the toothless gums of some kind of sea monster, Eli surmised), adding a tree or two (palm trees, Hoon guessed, though they looked more like baobabs. Possibly. He'd never been very good at identifying trees) and a miniature mountain range (molehills, actually, Dongho decided- less climbing) inside the patch.
'We are here,' Kiseop declared, jabbing the marker at a fairly nondescript point of the coast (near the possible sea monster, and Eli glanced around nervously before remembering it had no teeth). 'We shall follow this path-' a series of dashes began curling their way around the map, looking as if they'd imbibed some rum themselves, '-and then we shall reach our destination, the prized treasure, over there!' A large X was drawn on with a flourish.
'And what exactly awaits us at our destination?' Kevin asked.
'Haven't the foggiest,' Kiseop declared brightly, 'We'll find out when we get there.'
Hoon frowned. 'I don't think that's quite how pirates worked...' he said slowly.
'Rubbish,' Kiseop replied, waving his hand in the air. 'It's exactly how they worked. Where's your sense of adventure?' And with that, he delicately leaped off the box he'd been using as a pedestal.
Hoon sighed. 'We're going to get so lost, aren't we?' he muttered.
Eli nodded slowly. 'I'd suggest a mutiny in favour of Soohyun leading the mission instead, but he's currently quite focussed on drawing what appears to be a whale, so... not sure how that would turn out.'
'In all fairness,' Dongho added, 'I don't really know where we are now, anyway.'
'We will head north-west!' Kiseop announced, after studying the map.
'Which way's that?'
'The sun rises in the east.'
'But it's night time.'
'The stars! Find the Southern Cross!'
'Aren't we in the Northern hemisphere, is that even visible here?'
'Aren't stars the same everywhere?'
'I don't think so...'
'I don't even know what the Southern Cross looks like, anyway!'
'Shouldn't we be looking for the North Star?'
'Great, one star out of all of them, that's specific-'
'Guys, I can only see about three stars, the buildings are in the way of the rest-'
'WAIT!'
Everyone stopped walking at Dongho's cry and turned to see him pointing at the map.
'We can't take the wall with us, what are we gonna do about the map?'
Kiseop blinked as six pairs of eyes swivelled to him, and he shrugged. 'I don't have paper.'
'Wait, I have an idea!' Eli said suddenly, struggling with his pocket before unearthing his phone, and holding it out in front of him, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he squinted in concentration.
Silence.
'AJ, you have to move out of the way, you're blocking the map.'
'Oh, right, sorry,' AJ started, stepping out of Eli's (slightly wobbly) picture.
Click.
'Got it!' Eli said triumphantly, and some light applause followed.
'Good catch, we would've been lost without that,' AJ said, clapping Dongho on the shoulder.
'We're going to be lost with it as well,' Hoon pointed out, 'I've never seen a road in Seoul that twists quite like that.'
'I'm already lost, but I like the map,' Dongho said.
'Onward, mateys!' Kiseop shouted, raising his arm majestically.
Soohyun blinked at him. 'Where'd you get the eyepatch?'
'Is that a bedazzled skull and crossbones?' Kevin asked, peering closer, to no avail as Kiseop marched away grandly and they all scrambled to keep up.
They hadn’t gotten far when Kiseop made an abrupt turn into a bar pulsing with music, and Soohyun collided with Hoon, who narrowly avoided AJ as they turned after him, Kevin reaching out to snag Eli’s shirt to alert him they were leaving the street.
‘Why are we in here?’ Dongho shouted over the music, holding onto the edge of Soohyun’s shirt as they made their way through the crowd in a train.
‘Hi,’ Kiseop said to the bartender, ‘Could we please have-‘ He paused and turned around, doing a quick head count, turned back, and then turned around again, counting again, including himself this time.
‘-Seven. Times two.’ He paused again. ‘Fourteen shots of stroh rum please.’
The bartender raised her eyebrows. ‘Fourteen?’ she repeated.
‘They’re not all for me, but a Captain has to provide for his crew,’ Kiseop explained, ‘There’re seven of us, you see.’
‘We’re pirates,’ Soohyun added helpfully over Kiseop’s shoulder, and Eli nodded furiously.
‘Are you guys already drunk?’ the bartender asked, eyeing them uncertainly.
‘Not drunk enough,’ Kiseop replied, ‘Fourteen shots of stroh rum please!’
She shrugged. ‘Okay. Do you mind if I just pour you two rounds in seven shotglasses? Fourteen is a lot of shotglasses.’
‘That sounds fine, thanks,’ Kevin said, smiling sweetly over Kiseop’s shoulder.
The shots were lined up, and the stragglers pushed their way closer to the bar, claiming shotglasses.
‘Soohyun, planning to continue being toastmaster for the night?’ Eli asked, grinning.
Soohyun paused, the shot half way to his mouth already. ‘To pirates, bravely sailing the seven seas,’ he said, gazing off into the middle distance.
‘To pirates!’ The others echoed and downed the shots.
‘I wasn’t fin- oh, well,’ Soohyun muttered, downing his shot, and tapping the glass twice on the counter as the bartender started refilling the shotglasses.
Soohyun raised his glass again when they all had a fresh shot in their hands. ‘And most importantly,’ he continued determinedly, ‘to rum!’
‘To rum!’ Eli shouted jubilantly, the others following along (except for AJ, who just downed the shot).
‘And now we’re ready to set sail,’ Kiseop announced, grinning at the others.
‘Can I have another shot, please,’ Soohyun asked as Kiseop moved to lead the rest out the bar, Eli grabbing onto Soohyun’s arm and dragging him out as he downed the shot as fast as he could, reaching out to place the glass back on the bar and yelling out ‘Thanks!’ as they exited the premises.
‘Why would you take me away from the rum,’ Soohyun whined as they hit the fresh air.
‘Because…. Pirate things,’ Eli replied, dropping his arm.
‘Rum is pirate things!’ Soohyun insisted.
‘You need to chill with the rum, bro,’ AJ told him, and blinked uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at him in disbelief.
‘Stop… with the rum…’ Soohyun whispered, horrified.
‘Okay, firstly, I said chill, not stop, there’s a difference,’ AJ pointed out, ‘And secondly, what? I kinda feel like some vodka. Maybe even some tequila, I don’t know. Some variety, you know.’
His announcement was met with a brief silence, broken by Eli turning to Soohyun and clapping him on the shoulder, causing Soohyun to stumble a bit.
‘You’re certainly a better pirate than him,’ Eli declared.
‘Thank you,’ Soohyun replied, eyeing AJ warily.
‘Personally,’ Kevin mumbled to AJ, ‘I prefer a good gin and tonic.’
AJ blinked at him. ‘Are you actually an old lady?’
Kevin scowled. ‘Shut up. It’s nice, okay. Gets you drunker than beer.’
‘True, okay, no, I’ll give you that,’ AJ conceded, and Kevin gave a satisfied nod.
‘So where are we going now?’ Dongho asked, looking around in mild interest.
Kiseop looked around contemplatively. ‘Hmm…’
‘Map’s here if you need it,’ Eli offered, holding out his phone.
‘That way!’ Kiseop declared, pointing off down the road.
‘Or not,’ Eli muttered.
‘Here, I’ll have it, I wanna see the map,’ Dongho said, reaching out for the phone, which Eli relinquished surprisingly easily.
‘Do you have any idea where we’re going?’ Hoon asked Kiseop after several minutes of wandering around.
‘We’re following the map,’ Kiseop replied.
‘You didn’t even look at the map,’ Eli pointed out.
‘We’re vaguely following the map,’ Kiseop amended.
Dongho looked up from the phone. ‘What? Why are you all looking at me?’
‘Is he following the map?’ Kevin prompted.
Dongho shrugged. ‘I don’t know, there are no road names.’ He paused and glanced back down at the map. ‘Not many straight lines either, to be honest.’
Kiseop came to an abrupt halt, looking around.
‘No seriously, where are we, there’s no one here,’ Kevin said, looking around almost nervously.
‘No one,’ Eli whispered, breath tickling the back of Kevin’s neck, making him jump.
‘Could you not,’ Kevin snapped, moving away from a snickering Eli.
‘What do pirates do other than drink rum?’ AJ was demanding of Soohyun, who had made another comment whining about rum. ‘They have to do something else.’
Soohyun hummed awkwardly, swaying slightly to the tune, catching AJ’s bemused stare every now and often and his eyes darted around, as if hoping to convey some as of yet unknown message.
‘What?’ AJ asked after a minute or so, completely confused.
‘Oh hey, I know that song,’ Kevin commented, overhearing the humming. Soohyun’s face brightened and he nodded enthusiastically at Kevin, humming louder.
Kevin blinked at him. ‘You forgot the words, didn’t you?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, little bit,’ Soohyun replied, the humming abruptly ceasing.
‘What song’s this?’ Eli asked, peering between Kevin and Soohyun interestedly. He looked at AJ for a possible answer, and AJ shrugged, still lost.
‘You know, that one from Pirates of the Caribbean,’ Kevin prompted and AJ looked even more confused.
‘Oh…’ Eli nodded. ‘Dadadundun, dadadundun, dadadundun, dadadadun,’ he sang boisterously, conducting an invisible orchestra.
‘That doesn’t have words, though,’ AJ pointed out, bringing an end to the triumphant chorus.
‘Oh. Right.’
‘The other one. That the pirates sang,’ Kevin said with a sigh.
Eli narrowed his eyes at him, and AJ had his forehead creased in thought.
‘Yo ho, all hands, hoist the colours high,’ Kevin prompted, singing softly.
Comprehension dawned on Eli’s face. ‘Heave ho, thieves and beggars,’ he sang, joining in with Kevin.
‘Never shall we die,’ AJ joined in, looking sheepish. ‘Okay, I do know it.’
‘Yes, that one,’ Soohyun said.
Eli threw his arms around Kevin and AJ’s shoulder, forcibly turning them and gripping onto Soohyun’s collar, causing Soohyun to stumble into AJ, and AJ slung an arm over his shoulder to stabilize him.
‘Yo ho, all together,’ Eli started loudly and AJ shook his head before joining in with Kevin and Soohyun.
‘Hoist the colours high, heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die,’ the four sang, causing the other three to look at them, Kiseop with a look of consideration, Dongho in confusion, and Hoon in mild surprise.
‘Come on, guys, you know this,’ Eli encouraged, grinning widely.
Kiseop nodded, looking at the other two as he started up the next round of singing, the original four joining in a word or so in.
‘Yo ho, all together, hoist the colours hiiiigh, heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we diiie.’ Seven voices rang out, bouncing off the surrounding buildings, mispronunciations blurring the meaning behind a triumphant echo.
‘Yo ho-‘ they started again, louder (Eli practically yelling, evidently going for volume and not quality), before a window banged open on an upper floor.
‘Would you kindly stop with your racket, some people are trying to enjoy some peace and quiet!’ an old woman yelled out the window.
‘Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!’ Eli yelled up in the direction of the window.
‘My grandson’s on his way down!’ came the crotchety response, followed by an ear-splitting yell. ‘Taecyeon, hurry up!’
The door downstairs opened and was filled with a hulking shadow saying ‘Yes, gran.’
Eli was the first to split, AJ and Dongho close on his heels as they raced down the street, Kiseop and Kevin heading off just as fast in a different direction, leaving Hoon blinking after them, and Soohyun stumbling (again) from the sudden lack of person to hang on.
‘It wasn’t me,’ Hoon said instantly, pointing down the road as the giant shadow came into the light, revealing a fairly surprised countenance.
‘I was just gonna ask if you could keep it down so she doesn’t nag all night. She’s only mad because you disturbed her dramas,’ the guy said.
‘Oh,’ Hoon mumbled. ‘Our bad- their bad,’ he amended.
‘Do you have any rum, by any chance?’ Soohyun asked, and Hoon shut his eyes in despair.
‘Sorry,’ he apologised, grabbing Soohyun’s arm. ‘We’ll go now.’
‘But pirates!’ Soohyun exclaimed emphatically, looking at Hoon indignantly. ‘We pillage and loot and- really, I just want some more rum, can we go to a bar?’
‘We should probably find the others,’ Hoon told him, and Soohyun nodded, a hand waving vaguely in the air.
‘Okay, yes, but can we go to a bar first, I’m sure they can look after themselves for a little bit. One drink. Maybe two. Three at most,’ Soohyun wheedled.
‘We can go to a bar after we find them,’ Hoon said, walking Soohyun away in the vague direction Eli, AJ and Dongho had run, waving a hand behind him at the guy.
Taecyeon heaved a sigh as he watched them go, and headed back inside with a resigned glance up at the window.
--
'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,' Kiseop said weakly, floundering against a wall, his body bending at what Kevin thought was a rather unnatural angle.
'I don't think pirates used horses,' Kevin felt the need to point out.
Kiseop flopped a hand limply as he continued to slide down the wall. 'Substitute boat in as you will.'
Kevin considered this as Kiseop ended up on the ground without much fanfare. '... I don't think pirates really had kingdom's either. At least, none that really belonged to them.'
'A boat, a boat, my re-appropriated kingdom for a boat!' The end of Kiseop's shrill cry was muffled by his arms as he rolled onto his stomach, a high pitched whimper bringing up the end.
Kevin blinked down at him lying on the ground for a few minutes.
The wind tugged lightly at his clothes, and Kevin absently batted the imps away, glancing up briefly at the distant sound of cannons before returning his gaze to his friend.
He leaned down and straightened Kiseop's pirate hat.
'Right,' Kiseop said, pulling himself to his feet abruptly. 'I'm good now, off we go.'
--
‘Hyung, you said we’d look for them!’ Hoon exclaimed as Soohyun walked determinedly towards the entrance of a bar. ‘We need to find them!’
‘I have taken your concerns into consideration, and have chosen to ignore them,’ Soohyun replied, ‘Now are you coming or not?’
Hoon heaved a sigh and headed towards the door, his shoulders slumped. ‘You’re buying,’ he told Soohyun, who just nodded impatiently and pushed him through the door.
--
'Where are we!' AJ bellowed.
'Check the map! Dongho! You have it!' Eli exclaimed.
'I don't know!' Dongho cried. 'I accidentally zoomed in and now everything's white and I think we're somewhere in the middle of the ocean!'
‘Wait, stop, hold on,’ AJ declared, throwing his arms out to catch the others in the chest, and they stuttered to a stop.
‘We don’t know where we are,’ AJ said.
Dongho nodded. ‘Yeah.’
‘And we don’t know where the others are.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Or if they even escaped.’
‘Yeah.’
‘But we have the map.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Which is a phone.’
Dongho glanced down. ‘… Yeah.’
‘Why are we panicking?’
‘You started it,’ Dongho muttered.
‘Oh, hey, look, a bar, maybe they’re in there,’ Eli cut in, his attention diverted and his tone attempting convincing light-heartedness (badly).
‘If they’re not, we can call them, tell them to meet us here,’ Dongho suggested, before glancing around and muttering to himself, ‘Wherever here is.’
AJ gave a nod. ‘Sounds like a plan.’
‘Cool, let’s go,’ Eli decided, and they headed towards the bar, AJ telling him his intention to order anything other than rum.
Dongho’s eyes were caught by a woman at a jewellery stall next to the bar entrance. She took out her earrings and placed them on the counter, her hair swishing over her shoulder, and she reached for a pair of earrings to try on.
‘But the pirate code!’ Eli exclaimed.
‘I don’t care if it’s the pirate code, the bro code, or the Da Vinci code, I want tequila, so I’m getting tequila,’ AJ insisted adamantly.
‘Why do you even like tequila, who actually likes tequila, it tastes like shit!’
Dongho paused at the stall as Eli and AJ’s voices faded into the bar.
He glanced at the woman admiring herself in a mirror, her attention fixated on the earrings dangling from her earlobes, and turned his attention to her discarded ones- huge plastic diamonds glinting in artificial lights.
The woman’s voice washed over him as she asked for another pair from the stall owner, and Dongho allowed his fingers to run over the twinkling diamante studs.
Without a second thought, refracted light the only thing piercing through the settling fog in his mind, he reached for one, putting it through the hole in his ear, only having to push a little bit to get it through. He considered the sight in the reflective casing, and gave a nod, absentmindedly reaching for the other one and pushing it through his other ear.
He had found the hole of the butterfly and was getting it on when a hand grabbed his arm and dragged him away, Eli and AJ having exited the bar in great haste, dragging Dongho with them.
He tripped on a cobblestone (never mind that it was a tarred road) before finding his feet and running with them.
‘Why are we running?’ Dongho shouted as they rounded a corner.
‘Eli hit on this girl-‘
‘I didn’t know her boyfriend was the fucking hulk, okay!’ Eli cut in.
‘You proceeded to insult him!’ AJ yelled.
‘Just run!’ was Eli’s response as he darted into another side road, glancing behind him nervously.
A turn or so later, Dongho found the courage to look behind him too, and saw nothing. But AJ and Eli weren’t stopping, so he couldn’t exactly either.
When he looked back, Eli was holding a large cardboard box he’d evidently grabbed from- next to the bin they’d just run past, Dongho assumed.
‘Why the hell are you-‘ AJ started as Eli leapt over the low wall ahead of them seconds before he vaulted it too.
‘Maybe I can throw it at him or hide in it or something!’ Eli said frantically.
‘Water!’ Dongho yelled, spotting the reeds rising from the fishpond they were careening towards.
The box was tossed into the water, and Eli made a flying leap into it, yelling, ‘Quick, into the boat!’
Logic wasn’t questioned as AJ and Dongho half leapt, half climbed into the box after Eli, Dongho ending up in the front, peering ahead, affected by Eli and AJ’s frenetic panic.
Dongho leant over, the cardboard pressing into his chest and his hand scooped water, attempting to paddle (but really just creating ripples in the water) and water soaked through the box unnoticed, sending damp tendrils up canvas shoes and mismatched socks.
--
‘Hey, do you hear that?’
‘Hear what?’
‘That yelling.’
‘Now that you mention it…’
--
When Hoon and Soohyun rounded the corner, Dongho’s paddling was sending splashes of water flying up behind them, AJ looking nervously behind them, and Eli clinging onto Dongho’s shirt, calling for him to paddle faster.
‘Are they in a box?’ Soohyun asked, narrowing his eyes.
‘Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either,’ Hoon replied.
‘So they are in a box,’ Soohyun repeated.
‘Yes,’ Hoon confirmed, tearing his eyes from the spectacle in front of him to glance at Soohyun in concern.
Soohyun shrugged. ‘Okay. Just checking.’
Their attention was arrested effectively when Dongho let out a shriek, yanking his hand out the water, his eyes detaching from the wall in front of him to glance down at the dark water.
‘There’s a fucking shark!’ Dongho cried, leaping out the box far more gracefully than expected, shortly followed by AJ and Eli, both letting out wordless yells themselves as they bailed.
Dongho almost collided with Soohyun, instead grabbing his shirt as he leapt behind him, Eli and AJ barrelling after him, causing Soohyun to throw out his arms in an attempt to balance himself.
Hoon cautiously inched forward to peer into the (shallow) depths in which the good ship Cardboard Box was slanting pathetically to one side.
‘All I see are some koi,’ he said after a few moments inspection.
‘It bit me!’ Dongho insisted, and looked sideways to see Eli staring intently at him. ‘What, it did.’
‘You have stars on your ears and I don’t remember those being there before,’ Eli informed him, and Dongho’s hand shot up to his earlobe.
‘Oh. Right. Um.’
‘Where did you get those?’ AJ asked, just as interested as Eli.
‘I think there was. Um.’ Dongho paused, forehead furrowed in concentration. ‘I’m. Um. I think. I’m not sure right now, because sharks happened.’
‘Koi,’ Hoon supplied helpfully.
‘Great white sharks,’ Dongho countered, leaving Hoon shaking his head in denial and Dongho nodding his head in confirmation at AJ.
Eli drew his head back slowly, creating multiple chins, as he warily eyed Soohyun, whose eyes appeared to be fixed rather intently somewhere on Eli's forehead.
Pause.
Smack.
Eli let out a surprised yell of anguish and clutched at his left eye, taken off guard by his friend's sudden slap. 'What the hell was that for!' he cried.
'There was a fly!' Soohyun replied, 'Sitting on your eyebrow! It'd been there for a while and was starting to annoy me!'
'On my eyebr- okay, I know I only got my eyebrow pierced recently, but seriously, it's been long enough for you not to mistake it for a fly!'
'But... it kept moving its wings,' Soohyun tried.
'It doesn't have wings, it's a metal bauble,' Eli said snippishly.
A brief moment of silence followed, and then Soohyun looked on in wonderment as Eli's face twisted itself into the most remarkable expressions as he tried to get a glimpse of his own eyebrow ring.
AJ started when he glanced at Eli, his hand flying to his heart. ‘Dude, what the fuck, you can’t do that right now, you turned into Frankenstein’s monster’s older brother,’ he whined, and breathed a sigh of relief when Eli’s face returned to normal and blinked at him, a mix between confused and offended.
‘So we’re all here?’ Soohyun asked, squinting slightly around the group.
Eli glanced around. ‘No.’
‘We’re still missing two,’ Hoon clarified.
‘Oh,’ Soohyun said quietly.
‘Let’s. Head this way,’ AJ decided, and they moved off at a fairly slow pace, three pairs of shoes squishing along as they extricated themselves from darkish backstreets to illuminated main streets, bustling with life and colour, audio assaulting their senses.
‘Back,’ Hoon intervened, wincing at the loud sounds, and headed a road back, breathing a sigh of relief at the slightly more peaceful road, crowding sounds alleviating their attack on his eardrums.
‘How are we going to find them?’ Eli asked once they’d gone a little way.
‘Map?’ Dongho suggested, holding out the phone.
‘Unless it has a tracking device, I don’t think it’s going to work,’ Hoon remarked dryly.
‘He’s right, we’re the only ones with the map,’ Eli agreed, and Hoon tilted his head, debating whether or not to correct Eli’s interpretation of his words, and ultimately deciding not to.
‘But Kiseop drew the map, he might be kind of heading in the direction of the treasure,’ Dongho tried.
Eli paused. ‘Actually, you may have a point. Okay, gimme the map, let’s try figure this out.’
‘Where are you going?’ AJ asked Soohyun quietly as he moved towards the nearest door (which happened to be a bar- no seriously, how many bars were in this area).
Soohyun looked at him guiltily. ‘I’ll buy you a drink?’ he offered tentatively.
‘Can I order something other than rum?’ AJ asked.
Soohyun appeared to have a brief mental struggle with himself before giving a nod. ‘Anything you want.’
AJ glanced at Eli and Dongho poring over the phone and Hoon rubbing his temples.
‘Deal,’ he told Soohyun and the two sidled towards the bar.
Hoon turned and walked away from the two bickering over which way the map was supposed to be facing, eager for some quiet to sooth his over-stimulated mind.
He found himself in an alley, and his brow furrowed as his ears filtered out a familiar voice from the ambient noise. He glanced back where he came, seeing Dongho point emphatically to the map while saying something to Eli and then in the direction he’d heard the voice, and heaved himself off the wall.
‘Oh, hello!’ Kevin greeted as Hoon emerged from the alley, grinning at him happily.
‘Hi. How did you- hi,’ Hoon finished, deciding he probably didn’t want to know.
‘I was wondering where you had gotten to. Are the others nearby?’ Kevin asked serenely.
Hoon nodded, his attention slightly distracted by Kiseop, who was gesticulating at a tree, looking up in the air, and Hoon thought he looked as if he was directing a plane to land.
‘What exactly is he doing?’ Hoon asked, deciding he had to know.
‘Helping some fellow pirates,’ Kevin replied.
‘Fellow pirates,’ Hoon repeated.
Kevin nodded. ‘I think they’re from the moon.’
‘Oh,’ Hoon nodded. ‘Where did he get the pirate hat?’
Kevin shrugged. ‘I don’t know. He just had it. I have no idea where it came from. Probably from the space pirates,’ he confided and Hoon gave a sceptical nod, narrowing his eyes at Kiseop in wary confusion.
Hoon jumped as Kevin let out a shriek, ducking and covering his head with his arms, leaving Hoon to look around wildly for incoming projectiles.
Kevin straightened up quickly though, a sheepish chuckle bubbling from his throat.
'Sorry about that, the chicken gave me a fright,' he apologised.
Hoon blinked at him. 'What chicken.'
'The chicken that's been following us all night, or course. I think its name's Marny.' Kevin paused. 'Possibly Marty.'
'Are you sure that wasn't just Eli? He does have a propensity for imitating animals,' Hoon said.
Kevin scoffed. 'Don't be silly, Marty's a wonderful guy-'
'I though he was a chicken.'
'Just because he's a chicken doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings!' Kevin argued.
Hoon blinked again in the sudden silence following Kevin's little outburst.
'He's deathly afraid of frying pans,' Kevin informed Hoon loftily.
Hoon morosely thought he'd rather have a goose following them around than a chicken.
He'd always had a bit of an attachment to geese.
He shrugged. ‘I’ll go get the other guys,’ he said and paused before he headed back through the alley. ‘Stay,’ he told Kevin and got an eye-crinkling grin in response, which he decided to trust.
‘Guys, I think we’ve-‘ Eli stopped, looking around. ‘Where’d everyone go.’
‘I found Kevin and Kiseop,’ Hoon said behind him, and the phone almost went flying as Eli leapt in fright.
‘Not fair!’ he complained.
‘We figured out the map, we think we might know where to find the other two,’ Dongho told Hoon excitedly.
‘Yeah, they’re. Through there,’ Hoon said, pointing through the alley. ‘I just found them.’
Dongho blinked. ‘Oh.’
‘Where’re the other other two?’ Eli asked.
‘Probably in the bar,’ Hoon guessed.
‘There’s a bar?’ Eli exclaimed, his head whipping in the direction Hoon pointed.
Hoon heaved a long suffering sigh, wisps of blue twisting in his peripheral vision. ‘I’ll go get them.’
AJ and Soohyun were a little more wobbly on their feet when Hoon dragged them out the bar (not that that was saying much in Soohyun’s case), prompting Eli and Dongho to follow him through the alley as well.
‘The best ones for samples are at the top,’ Kiseop was shouting at the air, pointing to the fruit tree.
‘No, you’re right, discrimination is rife in the workplace, I can only imagine how marginalised you must feel. Always being chased, it must be terrible,’ Kevin was saying to the empty space next to where he was sitting on the floor.
‘See, I told you going to a bar would help us find them,’ Soohyun told Hoon.
‘No, you didn’t,’ Hoon replied.
‘Well, I was thinking it,’ Soohyun amended.
‘No, you weren’t,’ AJ added.
‘Okay, no, I wasn’t, but that’s not the point.’ Soohyun gave a definitive nod, freezing when it almost knocked him off balance.
‘What’s Kiseop doing?’ Dongho asked Hoon.
‘Kevin mentioned pirates from the moon,’ Hoon replied and Dongho nodded as if it made perfect sense (it did in his mind at least).
‘Who’re you talking to?’ Eli asked Kevin, and Kevin looked up at him in surprise.
‘When did you arrive?’ he exclaimed.
‘Just now,’ Eli said.
‘Seriously, who were you talking to?’ AJ asked, peering into the shadows as if someone would materialise.
‘Marty the chicken,’ Kevin replied matter-of-factly, ‘Obviously.’
‘Marty the chicken?’ AJ repeated uncertainly.
‘He’s right here, you don’t have to be so rude, okay, just because you haven’t met him,’ Kevin told him off.
‘Are you kidding me? Rude? Marty’s my bro, man, we’re tight,’ Eli declared, apparently indignant Kevin would assume otherwise.
Kevin smiled, apparently mollified.
‘You see the chicken too?’ AJ whispered to Eli.
‘Nope,’ Eli replied, ‘But I can be tight with invisible chickens, I’m cool like that.’
Soohyun was staring at Eli and Kevin talk about Marty, a mystified look on his face.
'What is this strange alien tongue?' he mused out loud, and AJ eyed him.
'Hyung, you're so far gone. It's English.'
'Ah,' Soohyun said, nodding sagely. 'That's a Plutonian dialect, right?'
AJ could only stare. He was pretty sure it was a dialect a bit closer to home than Pluto, even though he didn't have the mental capacity to pinpoint where exactly it was from further than elsewhere on earth right now- he didn't go to an intergalactic school, after all.
'I am going to try lose you now,' he informed Soohyun seriously.
Soohyun nodded again (had he stopped? AJ wasn't sure). 'Have fun,' he said airily.
AJ edged away from Soohyun and Hoon caught his sleeve.
‘If anyone’s gonna lose him, it’s gonna be me. Don’t go,’ Hoon pleaded.
‘I was just. Going to move this side of you, because he’s hurting my brain right now,’ AJ told Hoon, who breathed a sigh of relief.
‘The rest of my crew!’ Kiseop cried, finally seeing them and walking towards them with a wide grin.
‘Your crew?’ Soohyun questioned loudly.
‘I have the hat, I’m the captain,’ Kiseop told him.
‘Conceded,’ Soohyun subsided.
‘So which way are we going, Captain?’ Dongho asked.
‘Yes, I suppose we should keep moving,’ Kiseop agreed and looked at Eli. ‘Do you have the map?’
‘Hmm? Oh, yeah.’ Eli dug in his pocket and pulled out the phone, handing it to Kiseop, who studied the map thoughtfully.
‘That way,’ Kiseop decided, pointing roughly behind him.
Hoon followed his finger. ‘Into the wall?’
Kiseop looked behind him, and adjusted where his finger was pointing. ‘That way.’
With a few mumbles (and a few stumbles), and Kiseop waving at the air, they moved on at a slow amble.
A fair distance later, Hoon glanced around and stopped with a groan.
‘Guys,’ he called, ‘We’re missing two.’
‘Let’s backtrack,’ Dongho suggested, looking around.
They didn’t have to go far back before Hoon called for a halt.
A couple minutes and a sheepishly complaining AJ and Soohyun were being dragged out of a bar.
‘You can’t just disappear,’ Hoon berated them.
‘I thought he’d said something!’ AJ cried.
Soohyun looked sheepish. ‘I might have. Told him I said something,’ he muttered, his syllables slightly unclear.
‘Anyway,’ Kiseop interrupted, eyeing them sternly. ‘Moving on.’
--
Kevin dragged Eli out of the next bar by his ear, Soohyun and AJ following close behind.
‘Why are you only abusing me!’ Eli complained loudly.
‘You should know better!’
‘Why would you think that!’
--
‘About turn!’ Kiseop announced after glancing behind him, and the entire group let out a groan, Eli looking fairly smug when Soohyun and AJ were recovered, AJ still holding a bottle of beer.
--
‘Wait, stop,’ Dongho declared, throwing his hands out, and everyone else glanced around the group.
‘He did come out of the last bar, right?’ Hoon demanded, ‘He didn’t sneak back in, did he, because we have not passed another one, I know that for sure.’
‘No, he definitely did,’ Kevin agreed, after a brief pause. ‘Marty saw him,’ he said as an aside to Eli, who nodded.
‘Well? Where is he?’ Kiseop asked AJ, who just shrugged and took another swig of his beer.
They jumped at a sudden noise from a nearby alley and some indecipherable mumbles preceded Soohyun’s stumbling emergence from said alley, straightening his pants.
‘What,’ he said at their stares. ‘Nature called.’
‘Ewww,’ Kevin whined, crinkling his nose.
--
‘Okay, let’s all just have a drink.’
‘All in favour say aye!’
‘Aye!’ Five voices chorused, a sixth joining in a beat too late.
‘We can sit down!’
--
Soohyun was now hanging onto Dongho for support, having just been foisted off Eli’s shoulder, and AJ had his head buried in the back of Hoon’s neck, whimpering whenever his knees failed to correctly judge the distance to the ground.
Kiseop glanced around at everyone and straightened his hat, squinting at the building ahead of them.
‘We’re here,’ he announced.
They all blinked up at the building towering in front of them, one of Soohyun’s eyes more closed than the other as he tried to focus.
‘Oh, hey, this is our building!’ Kevin exclaimed a beat later.
‘Oh,’ Soohyun said, blinking rapidly at the building.
‘I thought it looked familiar,’ AJ mumbled over Hoon’s shoulder.
‘By the way,’ Kiseop interjected, ‘We’re all crashing at your place tonight.’
‘But-‘ Kevin started.
‘Captain’s orders!’ Kiseop declared.
‘Okay,’ Kevin sighed.
The stairs were manoeuvred with only one or two sudden meetings with the floor, and soon they were standing in front of a nondescript door.
‘So are you going to open it?’ Dongho asked Soohyun after a minute or so.
Soohyun blinked at the door. ‘Don’t know how keys work right now,’ he replied, words tripping over each other.
‘I left my keys inside,’ Kevin said apologetically and AJ let out a muffled moan, digging in a pocket and extending his arm, keys dangling from his fingers.
‘Was this really where the map led?’ Eli asked Kiseop as the door was wrested open.
Kiseop shrugged. ‘Seemed as good a place as any.’
‘The idea of bed is the best treasure ever right now,’ Dongho burbled, Soohyun having stumbled from his shoulder.
‘You look like you’re about to cry,’ Eli said to Dongho.
‘I think I have done more exercise tonight than I have in the last year, I just want to go to sleep,’ Dongho whined, and Eli patted him on the shoulder.
‘I call the couch, but I’ll give you a pillow,’ he said.
‘That’s all I need,’ Dongho wibbled, slinging an arm around Eli’s shoulder as they headed towards the lounge, Eli wincing when he knocked his leg on a stray piece of furniture.
Soohyun was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, swaying slightly, a hand on the doorframe in a futile attempt to steady himself.
‘Okay,’ he managed, ‘the next time my bed comes around, I’m definitely jumping on.’
‘That’s my room, that’s my room, that’s my room!’ Kevin’s voice grew steadily louder as he followed Kiseop, making Hoon wince.
‘How are you so normal right now?’ AJ asked him in bemusement, a pitiful look on his face.
Hoon paused. ‘I have been seeing sound all night and it’s highly disconcerting,’ he shared. ‘Why are you feeling so bad?’
‘Mixed too many drinks, I think,’ AJ mumbled.
‘Grain and grape together, huh?’ Hoon said sympathetically.
‘And potato and cactus and I don’t even know what else. I am so jealous of you right now,’ AJ whined.
‘Don’t be. Don’t be. Winged words are flying around in different colours and I feel like I’m living in a rainbow but it’s not necessarily a friendly rainbows because walls keep melting and I just want to close my eyes but I kept losing everyone and-‘ Hoon’s words tumbled out, falling over each other and he stopped, fireworks of colour exploding around his head and making him wince.
AJ blinked at him. ‘Right. Well. My stomach doesn’t agree with this conversation, so I’m going to bed.’
Hoon’s brow furrowed as AJ stumbled off. ‘That’s the bathroom,’ he said.
‘My bed tonight is the bath,’ AJ declared, turning back to face Hoon and pausing at the door. ‘My stomach agrees with that.’
‘Then I’m taking your bed,’ Hoon said instantly, and AJ waved a hand as he stumbled into the bathroom.
‘Go for it.’
Hoon turned and headed for AJ’s room, tripping over some stray books before collapsing on the bed.
He watched the shadows twisting around each other on the ceiling, stories being played out in monochrome with technicolour bursts accenting them, before he groaned and buried his face in the pillow, mumbling about how next time this happened he wasn’t moving from a safe place and whose idea was it to play pirates anyway.
‘Eli. Eli, are you still awake?’ Dongho asked into the dark silence of the lounge.
‘No,’ came the muffled reply after a pause.
‘Can I have another pillow?’
A pillow landed on Dongho’s face and he cuddled into it contentedly.
‘Thanks.’
‘Good night, Captain Kiseop,’ Kevin said, his feet colliding with Kiseop’s back as he curled into his side of the bed.
‘Night, first mate Kevin,’ Kiseop replied, tugging the blanket up around his shoulders.
Kevin frowned at the blanket slipped off his shoulders, and pulled it back towards him a bit.
‘Night, Marty,’ Kevin sighed, resigning himself to too little blanket that night.
‘Who’s Marty?’
‘The chicken,’ Kevin told Kiseop with a roll of his eyes.
‘Oh.’
‘Why does no one notice him, it’s quite hurtful,’ Kevin said, twisting his back, his elbow colliding with Kiseop’s heels.
‘Night, Marty,’ Kiseop’s voice floated up.
Kevin paused and then turned back to the wall, bringing the blanket around him again. ‘He says night.’
‘Can you ask him to lay some eggs for breakfast?’ Kiseop asked, and Kevin kicked him on purpose this time.
‘He’s a chicken, not a grocery store.’
And as the sun rose over the horizon, filtering through city windows, the apartment was filled with soft snores.
Fandom: U-Kiss
Summary: All in all, a rather uneventful night out on the town.
originally posted here for kpop_olymfics
Title translates to 'Therefore let us rejoice while we are young' and is the first two lines of a song occasionally sung at academic ceremonies; but was apparently originally a Cambridge drinking song.
‘To-‘ Soohyun paused, holding up his fourth shot of the evening, running through all the toasts he’d already made- the most recent one being to holidays. ‘-Stuff. Life.’ He amended quickly, and it appeared to be acceptable, as there was a chorus of reiteration and cheers before six heads tipped back - he decided he’d ignore the snickers emanating from Eli and Dongho. Speaking of Dongho…
‘Maknae, did you take that shot?’ Soohyun demanded, pointing accusingly at Dongho, who rolled his eyes.
‘I’m legal,’ he declared exasperatedly.
‘I don’t believe you,’ Soohyun said with narrowed eyes as mutters of ‘really?’ and ‘only just, surely’ and ‘does it really matter?’ surrounded them.
‘And no, you stole my shotglass,’ Dongho finished.
‘Confiscated,’ Soohyun corrected, nodding in satisfaction.
‘I’m legal,’ Dongho insisted, accepting the shot Kiseop held out to him as soon as Soohyun looked away.
‘Speaking of legal,’ Eli said, reaching into his pockets and digging around.
‘You mean speaking of illegal,’ Hoon sighed and Eli shrugged.
‘Depends on how you look at things,’ Eli said, pulling out a small plastic bag, small pills dusting white powder on the inside innocuously.
‘So what is it?’ Hoon asked.
Eli wrinkled his nose. ‘Not altogether sure. Artane, I think, and Yesung said something about imported Guatemalan tortoise food, but I’m not sure if he was joking or not. Might be some Everest, think there’s some MDMA… I don’t know. He said it’s fun, so I went with it.’
‘Is that safe? It doesn’t sound safe,’ Kevin said doubtfully, side-eyeing the pills Eli was crushing.
‘Yesung wouldn’t sell something he wouldn’t take himself, he’s pretty trustworthy,’ AJ added, opening a two litre bottle of coke and eyeing it before taking a swig. ‘Quite honestly, I think it’s something he’s cooked up himself, and when he said it’s fun, I think that’s what he’s called it.’
‘Why are you drinking coke?’ Kiseop asked AJ, while Kevin’s simultaneous question was directed at Eli.
‘Why are you crushing them?’
AJ and Eli looked at each other and Eli held out his hand for the coke, which AJ relinquished. Eli took a swig of the coke, eyed the level, and splashed a little on the floor.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Kevin cried, bouncing away from the splash.
‘Making some space,’ Eli replied distractedly, carefully pouring the crushed pills into the bottle.
‘That’s not going to fill all that space,’ Hoon replied, one eyebrow raised.
Eli simply reached in the packet on the floor and pulled out a glass bottle, and a chorus of ‘oh’s abounded as he handed AJ the bottle and carefully poured the rum in.
‘Why didn’t you just say so,' Soohyun muttered.
'Cos it's funny when you guys are confused,' Eli replied, and Kiseop nodded furiously in agreement, pausing in peering over Eli's shoulder.
‘So is that mixed or not?’ Soohyun asked briskly, ignoring Eli’s grin as best as possible.
‘Everyone in?’ Eli said with a laugh.
AJ rolled his eyes and Kiseop and Hoon nodded.
‘I’m in,’ Dongho said with a shrug, and Soohyun whipped his head around to look at him.
‘No, you’re not,’ he exclaimed.
‘No, I really am, hyung,’ Dongho replied.
‘No, I’m putting my foot down. Your mother will be so disappointed in me,’ Soohyun said.
‘My mother doesn’t have to know.’ Dongho fixed Soohyun with an incredulous gaze. ‘And since when do you speak to my mother, anyway.’
Soohyun considered this.
‘You argue every time and it’s never-‘ Dongho started, only to have Soohyun cut him off.
‘Okay, fine, whatever, you’re in. I’m in too,’ he added, and Dongho punched the air.
‘It gets easier every time,’ he gloated, and Soohyun felt perfectly within his rights to cuff him across the back of his head.
‘Yeah,’ Kevin said in response to Eli’s questioning look, and Eli grinned as he held the bottle out of reach of Kiseop and AJ’s slyly grasping hands.
‘All right then. Should we have some Fun?’
There was a collective groan at Eli’s grin and a cry of protest as AJ snatched the bottle away from Eli successfully and took a swig.
‘You can’t just-!’
‘Then don’t make lame jokes,’ AJ told Eli, handing the bottle to Kiseop, who gave a contented grin before lifting it to his lips.
Eli’s disgruntled expression brightened when Kiseop handed him the bottle next.
The bottle made its way around the group, and again, and again. More rum was poured in and by the time the last dregs were being drained, voices had gotten exponentially louder and legs a little less stable, and Soohyun had disappeared from the circle- only to be found sitting down, nursing the rum bottle.
Meanwhile, Eli was standing on one leg, his other raised as if supported on a barrel. ‘I won,’ he gloated, grinning down at Soohyun.
‘Okay, so what, you’re better at being Captain Morgan, whatever. My sea legs kicked in and failed me, okay,’ Soohyun sniped, gaining his comfort from the rum. ‘Can I just say, though, I didn’t spill any rum. At all.’
‘While you fell.’
‘It’s impressive!’
‘Not as impressive as my Captain Morgan stance. I could totally be a bar stool if I had to,’ Eli declared.
‘Can I sit on your leg then?’ Kevin asked.
‘No,’ Eli replied instantly, and Kevin pouted.
‘But you said you could be a bar stool.’
‘If I had to, I don’t have to,’ Eli said, before returning his foot to the floor. ‘See, my leg’s down now, I can’t be a bar stool, my leg’s down.’
‘You put your leg down, I won!’ Soohyun cried, scrambling up from the floor, holding the rum bottle aloft in triumph.
‘No, that’s not how the game works, hyung, you still fell down first,’ Eli told him.
‘Well.’ Soohyun stopped. ‘I have rum, so. I feel like I won.’ Soohyun jerked the bottle away from Eli’s outstretched arms. ‘No, you can’t have any. It’s mine.’ He took a swig from the rum bottle and smiled at Eli tauntingly. ‘Mmm, Spiced Gold.’
‘That’s just mean,’ Eli complained.
Soohyun shrugged. ‘I have rum, I don’t care.’
‘Guys, I swear to god I just saw a mermaid,’ Dongho declared loudly, squinting in the direction of the exit of the courtyard they were currently inhabiting.
‘Mermaids are half fish, how would it walk,’ Kevin pointed out.
‘You’re a mermaid,’ AJ mumbled, and Kevin looked affronted.
‘I would make a fantastic mermaid,’ he declared, and Kiseop gave a nod next to him after considering it.
‘No, but, seriously, Dongho, mermaids don’t exist,’ Hoon told him.
‘Well, then there’s a topless girl with a long skirt running around,’ Dongho replied.
‘What, where?’ Eli asked, his eyes snapping away from the rum bottle Soohyun was still monopolising.
‘That way!’ Dongho pointed off into the (relative) darkness.
‘Well, what are you guys waiting for, let’s go!’ Eli encouraged them, already moving in the direction Dongho was pointing.
‘I wish I was a pirate,’ Soohyun announced, as they started to move off.
AJ paused. ‘Why?’ he asked.
‘I like rum,’ Soohyun informed him.
‘Oh.’ AJ considered this reasoning briefly and shrugged. ‘Good a reason as any.’
‘Right?’
‘Where did she go, Dongho!’
‘I can’t see around corners, hyung, I don’t know!’
‘Wait, I think I see blue!’
And the chase was on- although the pace varied between a light jog and a lazy amble, as attentions were distracted and then regained, until they all unanimously came to a stop.
‘Maybe it wasn’t a mermaid,’ Dongho mumbled sheepishly.
‘I don’t even care if it was anymore,’ Kevin said, glancing behind him again.
‘So. Does anyone know the way back to the courtyard?’ AJ asked, and was answered by silence.
‘Now what are we going to do?’ Hoon inquired, looking around for any suggestions. ‘We can’t really just stand here all night next to a half painted wall, that doesn’t seem like much fun.’
‘Man has a point,’ Eli declared.
‘Pirates always have something to do,’ Soohyun sighed mournfully.
‘I thought pirates spent half their time drinking rum,’ Dongho said.
‘That’s something to do,’ Soohyun defended. ‘Whatever, you saw a mermaid.’
Eli brightened up and turned to Soohyun. ‘It was because of the rum, you should probably give it to me,’ he told him seriously.
‘Or… because… drugs…’ AJ trailed off when it became clear neither was listening to him.
‘Yeah, okay,’ Soohyun said, and handed the bottle to a slightly surprised Eli.
‘Wait, that worked? Jackp-‘ Eli’s face fell. ‘It’s empty.’
Soohyun grinned at him. ‘Why would I give it to you if it still had rum in it, what kind of a pirate do you think I am?’
‘Not a pirate?’ AJ suggested, only for his comment to be waved off.
‘I beat you in the Captain Morgan game, so I have more Captain in me than you-‘ Eli started.
‘I have way more Captain in me, I think I drank half that bottle,’ Soohyun interjected.
‘-THUSLY,’ Eli continued loudly, ‘I am more pirate than you. I mean. I’m a better pirate than you.’
‘I know what we can do!’ Kiseop suddenly exclaimed, making Kevin jump slightly.
‘Well?’ Hoon prompted.
‘We can be pirates!’
Soohyun and Eli let out cheers at Kiseop’d declaration.
‘Wait, what do pirates do?’ Kevin asked.
‘Drink rum?’ Dongho suggested.
‘I’m down with that,’ Eli said instantly, and paused, before holding out the empty bottle. ‘But we have no rum.’
Kiseop waved a hand. ‘The rum is secondary.’
There was a chorus of affronted noises.
'No. We shall go on a voyage,' Kiseop said excitedly, pulling out a marker -and exclamations of surprise and confusion from the others ('where did that even come from!')- and started scrawling on the wall, sketching a rudimentary compass rose just above the unpainted patch, and some waves on the other side of it (either that or the toothless gums of some kind of sea monster, Eli surmised), adding a tree or two (palm trees, Hoon guessed, though they looked more like baobabs. Possibly. He'd never been very good at identifying trees) and a miniature mountain range (molehills, actually, Dongho decided- less climbing) inside the patch.
'We are here,' Kiseop declared, jabbing the marker at a fairly nondescript point of the coast (near the possible sea monster, and Eli glanced around nervously before remembering it had no teeth). 'We shall follow this path-' a series of dashes began curling their way around the map, looking as if they'd imbibed some rum themselves, '-and then we shall reach our destination, the prized treasure, over there!' A large X was drawn on with a flourish.
'And what exactly awaits us at our destination?' Kevin asked.
'Haven't the foggiest,' Kiseop declared brightly, 'We'll find out when we get there.'
Hoon frowned. 'I don't think that's quite how pirates worked...' he said slowly.
'Rubbish,' Kiseop replied, waving his hand in the air. 'It's exactly how they worked. Where's your sense of adventure?' And with that, he delicately leaped off the box he'd been using as a pedestal.
Hoon sighed. 'We're going to get so lost, aren't we?' he muttered.
Eli nodded slowly. 'I'd suggest a mutiny in favour of Soohyun leading the mission instead, but he's currently quite focussed on drawing what appears to be a whale, so... not sure how that would turn out.'
'In all fairness,' Dongho added, 'I don't really know where we are now, anyway.'
'We will head north-west!' Kiseop announced, after studying the map.
'Which way's that?'
'The sun rises in the east.'
'But it's night time.'
'The stars! Find the Southern Cross!'
'Aren't we in the Northern hemisphere, is that even visible here?'
'Aren't stars the same everywhere?'
'I don't think so...'
'I don't even know what the Southern Cross looks like, anyway!'
'Shouldn't we be looking for the North Star?'
'Great, one star out of all of them, that's specific-'
'Guys, I can only see about three stars, the buildings are in the way of the rest-'
'WAIT!'
Everyone stopped walking at Dongho's cry and turned to see him pointing at the map.
'We can't take the wall with us, what are we gonna do about the map?'
Kiseop blinked as six pairs of eyes swivelled to him, and he shrugged. 'I don't have paper.'
'Wait, I have an idea!' Eli said suddenly, struggling with his pocket before unearthing his phone, and holding it out in front of him, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he squinted in concentration.
Silence.
'AJ, you have to move out of the way, you're blocking the map.'
'Oh, right, sorry,' AJ started, stepping out of Eli's (slightly wobbly) picture.
Click.
'Got it!' Eli said triumphantly, and some light applause followed.
'Good catch, we would've been lost without that,' AJ said, clapping Dongho on the shoulder.
'We're going to be lost with it as well,' Hoon pointed out, 'I've never seen a road in Seoul that twists quite like that.'
'I'm already lost, but I like the map,' Dongho said.
'Onward, mateys!' Kiseop shouted, raising his arm majestically.
Soohyun blinked at him. 'Where'd you get the eyepatch?'
'Is that a bedazzled skull and crossbones?' Kevin asked, peering closer, to no avail as Kiseop marched away grandly and they all scrambled to keep up.
They hadn’t gotten far when Kiseop made an abrupt turn into a bar pulsing with music, and Soohyun collided with Hoon, who narrowly avoided AJ as they turned after him, Kevin reaching out to snag Eli’s shirt to alert him they were leaving the street.
‘Why are we in here?’ Dongho shouted over the music, holding onto the edge of Soohyun’s shirt as they made their way through the crowd in a train.
‘Hi,’ Kiseop said to the bartender, ‘Could we please have-‘ He paused and turned around, doing a quick head count, turned back, and then turned around again, counting again, including himself this time.
‘-Seven. Times two.’ He paused again. ‘Fourteen shots of stroh rum please.’
The bartender raised her eyebrows. ‘Fourteen?’ she repeated.
‘They’re not all for me, but a Captain has to provide for his crew,’ Kiseop explained, ‘There’re seven of us, you see.’
‘We’re pirates,’ Soohyun added helpfully over Kiseop’s shoulder, and Eli nodded furiously.
‘Are you guys already drunk?’ the bartender asked, eyeing them uncertainly.
‘Not drunk enough,’ Kiseop replied, ‘Fourteen shots of stroh rum please!’
She shrugged. ‘Okay. Do you mind if I just pour you two rounds in seven shotglasses? Fourteen is a lot of shotglasses.’
‘That sounds fine, thanks,’ Kevin said, smiling sweetly over Kiseop’s shoulder.
The shots were lined up, and the stragglers pushed their way closer to the bar, claiming shotglasses.
‘Soohyun, planning to continue being toastmaster for the night?’ Eli asked, grinning.
Soohyun paused, the shot half way to his mouth already. ‘To pirates, bravely sailing the seven seas,’ he said, gazing off into the middle distance.
‘To pirates!’ The others echoed and downed the shots.
‘I wasn’t fin- oh, well,’ Soohyun muttered, downing his shot, and tapping the glass twice on the counter as the bartender started refilling the shotglasses.
Soohyun raised his glass again when they all had a fresh shot in their hands. ‘And most importantly,’ he continued determinedly, ‘to rum!’
‘To rum!’ Eli shouted jubilantly, the others following along (except for AJ, who just downed the shot).
‘And now we’re ready to set sail,’ Kiseop announced, grinning at the others.
‘Can I have another shot, please,’ Soohyun asked as Kiseop moved to lead the rest out the bar, Eli grabbing onto Soohyun’s arm and dragging him out as he downed the shot as fast as he could, reaching out to place the glass back on the bar and yelling out ‘Thanks!’ as they exited the premises.
‘Why would you take me away from the rum,’ Soohyun whined as they hit the fresh air.
‘Because…. Pirate things,’ Eli replied, dropping his arm.
‘Rum is pirate things!’ Soohyun insisted.
‘You need to chill with the rum, bro,’ AJ told him, and blinked uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at him in disbelief.
‘Stop… with the rum…’ Soohyun whispered, horrified.
‘Okay, firstly, I said chill, not stop, there’s a difference,’ AJ pointed out, ‘And secondly, what? I kinda feel like some vodka. Maybe even some tequila, I don’t know. Some variety, you know.’
His announcement was met with a brief silence, broken by Eli turning to Soohyun and clapping him on the shoulder, causing Soohyun to stumble a bit.
‘You’re certainly a better pirate than him,’ Eli declared.
‘Thank you,’ Soohyun replied, eyeing AJ warily.
‘Personally,’ Kevin mumbled to AJ, ‘I prefer a good gin and tonic.’
AJ blinked at him. ‘Are you actually an old lady?’
Kevin scowled. ‘Shut up. It’s nice, okay. Gets you drunker than beer.’
‘True, okay, no, I’ll give you that,’ AJ conceded, and Kevin gave a satisfied nod.
‘So where are we going now?’ Dongho asked, looking around in mild interest.
Kiseop looked around contemplatively. ‘Hmm…’
‘Map’s here if you need it,’ Eli offered, holding out his phone.
‘That way!’ Kiseop declared, pointing off down the road.
‘Or not,’ Eli muttered.
‘Here, I’ll have it, I wanna see the map,’ Dongho said, reaching out for the phone, which Eli relinquished surprisingly easily.
‘Do you have any idea where we’re going?’ Hoon asked Kiseop after several minutes of wandering around.
‘We’re following the map,’ Kiseop replied.
‘You didn’t even look at the map,’ Eli pointed out.
‘We’re vaguely following the map,’ Kiseop amended.
Dongho looked up from the phone. ‘What? Why are you all looking at me?’
‘Is he following the map?’ Kevin prompted.
Dongho shrugged. ‘I don’t know, there are no road names.’ He paused and glanced back down at the map. ‘Not many straight lines either, to be honest.’
Kiseop came to an abrupt halt, looking around.
‘No seriously, where are we, there’s no one here,’ Kevin said, looking around almost nervously.
‘No one,’ Eli whispered, breath tickling the back of Kevin’s neck, making him jump.
‘Could you not,’ Kevin snapped, moving away from a snickering Eli.
‘What do pirates do other than drink rum?’ AJ was demanding of Soohyun, who had made another comment whining about rum. ‘They have to do something else.’
Soohyun hummed awkwardly, swaying slightly to the tune, catching AJ’s bemused stare every now and often and his eyes darted around, as if hoping to convey some as of yet unknown message.
‘What?’ AJ asked after a minute or so, completely confused.
‘Oh hey, I know that song,’ Kevin commented, overhearing the humming. Soohyun’s face brightened and he nodded enthusiastically at Kevin, humming louder.
Kevin blinked at him. ‘You forgot the words, didn’t you?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, little bit,’ Soohyun replied, the humming abruptly ceasing.
‘What song’s this?’ Eli asked, peering between Kevin and Soohyun interestedly. He looked at AJ for a possible answer, and AJ shrugged, still lost.
‘You know, that one from Pirates of the Caribbean,’ Kevin prompted and AJ looked even more confused.
‘Oh…’ Eli nodded. ‘Dadadundun, dadadundun, dadadundun, dadadadun,’ he sang boisterously, conducting an invisible orchestra.
‘That doesn’t have words, though,’ AJ pointed out, bringing an end to the triumphant chorus.
‘Oh. Right.’
‘The other one. That the pirates sang,’ Kevin said with a sigh.
Eli narrowed his eyes at him, and AJ had his forehead creased in thought.
‘Yo ho, all hands, hoist the colours high,’ Kevin prompted, singing softly.
Comprehension dawned on Eli’s face. ‘Heave ho, thieves and beggars,’ he sang, joining in with Kevin.
‘Never shall we die,’ AJ joined in, looking sheepish. ‘Okay, I do know it.’
‘Yes, that one,’ Soohyun said.
Eli threw his arms around Kevin and AJ’s shoulder, forcibly turning them and gripping onto Soohyun’s collar, causing Soohyun to stumble into AJ, and AJ slung an arm over his shoulder to stabilize him.
‘Yo ho, all together,’ Eli started loudly and AJ shook his head before joining in with Kevin and Soohyun.
‘Hoist the colours high, heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die,’ the four sang, causing the other three to look at them, Kiseop with a look of consideration, Dongho in confusion, and Hoon in mild surprise.
‘Come on, guys, you know this,’ Eli encouraged, grinning widely.
Kiseop nodded, looking at the other two as he started up the next round of singing, the original four joining in a word or so in.
‘Yo ho, all together, hoist the colours hiiiigh, heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we diiie.’ Seven voices rang out, bouncing off the surrounding buildings, mispronunciations blurring the meaning behind a triumphant echo.
‘Yo ho-‘ they started again, louder (Eli practically yelling, evidently going for volume and not quality), before a window banged open on an upper floor.
‘Would you kindly stop with your racket, some people are trying to enjoy some peace and quiet!’ an old woman yelled out the window.
‘Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!’ Eli yelled up in the direction of the window.
‘My grandson’s on his way down!’ came the crotchety response, followed by an ear-splitting yell. ‘Taecyeon, hurry up!’
The door downstairs opened and was filled with a hulking shadow saying ‘Yes, gran.’
Eli was the first to split, AJ and Dongho close on his heels as they raced down the street, Kiseop and Kevin heading off just as fast in a different direction, leaving Hoon blinking after them, and Soohyun stumbling (again) from the sudden lack of person to hang on.
‘It wasn’t me,’ Hoon said instantly, pointing down the road as the giant shadow came into the light, revealing a fairly surprised countenance.
‘I was just gonna ask if you could keep it down so she doesn’t nag all night. She’s only mad because you disturbed her dramas,’ the guy said.
‘Oh,’ Hoon mumbled. ‘Our bad- their bad,’ he amended.
‘Do you have any rum, by any chance?’ Soohyun asked, and Hoon shut his eyes in despair.
‘Sorry,’ he apologised, grabbing Soohyun’s arm. ‘We’ll go now.’
‘But pirates!’ Soohyun exclaimed emphatically, looking at Hoon indignantly. ‘We pillage and loot and- really, I just want some more rum, can we go to a bar?’
‘We should probably find the others,’ Hoon told him, and Soohyun nodded, a hand waving vaguely in the air.
‘Okay, yes, but can we go to a bar first, I’m sure they can look after themselves for a little bit. One drink. Maybe two. Three at most,’ Soohyun wheedled.
‘We can go to a bar after we find them,’ Hoon said, walking Soohyun away in the vague direction Eli, AJ and Dongho had run, waving a hand behind him at the guy.
Taecyeon heaved a sigh as he watched them go, and headed back inside with a resigned glance up at the window.
--
'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,' Kiseop said weakly, floundering against a wall, his body bending at what Kevin thought was a rather unnatural angle.
'I don't think pirates used horses,' Kevin felt the need to point out.
Kiseop flopped a hand limply as he continued to slide down the wall. 'Substitute boat in as you will.'
Kevin considered this as Kiseop ended up on the ground without much fanfare. '... I don't think pirates really had kingdom's either. At least, none that really belonged to them.'
'A boat, a boat, my re-appropriated kingdom for a boat!' The end of Kiseop's shrill cry was muffled by his arms as he rolled onto his stomach, a high pitched whimper bringing up the end.
Kevin blinked down at him lying on the ground for a few minutes.
The wind tugged lightly at his clothes, and Kevin absently batted the imps away, glancing up briefly at the distant sound of cannons before returning his gaze to his friend.
He leaned down and straightened Kiseop's pirate hat.
'Right,' Kiseop said, pulling himself to his feet abruptly. 'I'm good now, off we go.'
--
‘Hyung, you said we’d look for them!’ Hoon exclaimed as Soohyun walked determinedly towards the entrance of a bar. ‘We need to find them!’
‘I have taken your concerns into consideration, and have chosen to ignore them,’ Soohyun replied, ‘Now are you coming or not?’
Hoon heaved a sigh and headed towards the door, his shoulders slumped. ‘You’re buying,’ he told Soohyun, who just nodded impatiently and pushed him through the door.
--
'Where are we!' AJ bellowed.
'Check the map! Dongho! You have it!' Eli exclaimed.
'I don't know!' Dongho cried. 'I accidentally zoomed in and now everything's white and I think we're somewhere in the middle of the ocean!'
‘Wait, stop, hold on,’ AJ declared, throwing his arms out to catch the others in the chest, and they stuttered to a stop.
‘We don’t know where we are,’ AJ said.
Dongho nodded. ‘Yeah.’
‘And we don’t know where the others are.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Or if they even escaped.’
‘Yeah.’
‘But we have the map.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Which is a phone.’
Dongho glanced down. ‘… Yeah.’
‘Why are we panicking?’
‘You started it,’ Dongho muttered.
‘Oh, hey, look, a bar, maybe they’re in there,’ Eli cut in, his attention diverted and his tone attempting convincing light-heartedness (badly).
‘If they’re not, we can call them, tell them to meet us here,’ Dongho suggested, before glancing around and muttering to himself, ‘Wherever here is.’
AJ gave a nod. ‘Sounds like a plan.’
‘Cool, let’s go,’ Eli decided, and they headed towards the bar, AJ telling him his intention to order anything other than rum.
Dongho’s eyes were caught by a woman at a jewellery stall next to the bar entrance. She took out her earrings and placed them on the counter, her hair swishing over her shoulder, and she reached for a pair of earrings to try on.
‘But the pirate code!’ Eli exclaimed.
‘I don’t care if it’s the pirate code, the bro code, or the Da Vinci code, I want tequila, so I’m getting tequila,’ AJ insisted adamantly.
‘Why do you even like tequila, who actually likes tequila, it tastes like shit!’
Dongho paused at the stall as Eli and AJ’s voices faded into the bar.
He glanced at the woman admiring herself in a mirror, her attention fixated on the earrings dangling from her earlobes, and turned his attention to her discarded ones- huge plastic diamonds glinting in artificial lights.
The woman’s voice washed over him as she asked for another pair from the stall owner, and Dongho allowed his fingers to run over the twinkling diamante studs.
Without a second thought, refracted light the only thing piercing through the settling fog in his mind, he reached for one, putting it through the hole in his ear, only having to push a little bit to get it through. He considered the sight in the reflective casing, and gave a nod, absentmindedly reaching for the other one and pushing it through his other ear.
He had found the hole of the butterfly and was getting it on when a hand grabbed his arm and dragged him away, Eli and AJ having exited the bar in great haste, dragging Dongho with them.
He tripped on a cobblestone (never mind that it was a tarred road) before finding his feet and running with them.
‘Why are we running?’ Dongho shouted as they rounded a corner.
‘Eli hit on this girl-‘
‘I didn’t know her boyfriend was the fucking hulk, okay!’ Eli cut in.
‘You proceeded to insult him!’ AJ yelled.
‘Just run!’ was Eli’s response as he darted into another side road, glancing behind him nervously.
A turn or so later, Dongho found the courage to look behind him too, and saw nothing. But AJ and Eli weren’t stopping, so he couldn’t exactly either.
When he looked back, Eli was holding a large cardboard box he’d evidently grabbed from- next to the bin they’d just run past, Dongho assumed.
‘Why the hell are you-‘ AJ started as Eli leapt over the low wall ahead of them seconds before he vaulted it too.
‘Maybe I can throw it at him or hide in it or something!’ Eli said frantically.
‘Water!’ Dongho yelled, spotting the reeds rising from the fishpond they were careening towards.
The box was tossed into the water, and Eli made a flying leap into it, yelling, ‘Quick, into the boat!’
Logic wasn’t questioned as AJ and Dongho half leapt, half climbed into the box after Eli, Dongho ending up in the front, peering ahead, affected by Eli and AJ’s frenetic panic.
Dongho leant over, the cardboard pressing into his chest and his hand scooped water, attempting to paddle (but really just creating ripples in the water) and water soaked through the box unnoticed, sending damp tendrils up canvas shoes and mismatched socks.
--
‘Hey, do you hear that?’
‘Hear what?’
‘That yelling.’
‘Now that you mention it…’
--
When Hoon and Soohyun rounded the corner, Dongho’s paddling was sending splashes of water flying up behind them, AJ looking nervously behind them, and Eli clinging onto Dongho’s shirt, calling for him to paddle faster.
‘Are they in a box?’ Soohyun asked, narrowing his eyes.
‘Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either,’ Hoon replied.
‘So they are in a box,’ Soohyun repeated.
‘Yes,’ Hoon confirmed, tearing his eyes from the spectacle in front of him to glance at Soohyun in concern.
Soohyun shrugged. ‘Okay. Just checking.’
Their attention was arrested effectively when Dongho let out a shriek, yanking his hand out the water, his eyes detaching from the wall in front of him to glance down at the dark water.
‘There’s a fucking shark!’ Dongho cried, leaping out the box far more gracefully than expected, shortly followed by AJ and Eli, both letting out wordless yells themselves as they bailed.
Dongho almost collided with Soohyun, instead grabbing his shirt as he leapt behind him, Eli and AJ barrelling after him, causing Soohyun to throw out his arms in an attempt to balance himself.
Hoon cautiously inched forward to peer into the (shallow) depths in which the good ship Cardboard Box was slanting pathetically to one side.
‘All I see are some koi,’ he said after a few moments inspection.
‘It bit me!’ Dongho insisted, and looked sideways to see Eli staring intently at him. ‘What, it did.’
‘You have stars on your ears and I don’t remember those being there before,’ Eli informed him, and Dongho’s hand shot up to his earlobe.
‘Oh. Right. Um.’
‘Where did you get those?’ AJ asked, just as interested as Eli.
‘I think there was. Um.’ Dongho paused, forehead furrowed in concentration. ‘I’m. Um. I think. I’m not sure right now, because sharks happened.’
‘Koi,’ Hoon supplied helpfully.
‘Great white sharks,’ Dongho countered, leaving Hoon shaking his head in denial and Dongho nodding his head in confirmation at AJ.
Eli drew his head back slowly, creating multiple chins, as he warily eyed Soohyun, whose eyes appeared to be fixed rather intently somewhere on Eli's forehead.
Pause.
Smack.
Eli let out a surprised yell of anguish and clutched at his left eye, taken off guard by his friend's sudden slap. 'What the hell was that for!' he cried.
'There was a fly!' Soohyun replied, 'Sitting on your eyebrow! It'd been there for a while and was starting to annoy me!'
'On my eyebr- okay, I know I only got my eyebrow pierced recently, but seriously, it's been long enough for you not to mistake it for a fly!'
'But... it kept moving its wings,' Soohyun tried.
'It doesn't have wings, it's a metal bauble,' Eli said snippishly.
A brief moment of silence followed, and then Soohyun looked on in wonderment as Eli's face twisted itself into the most remarkable expressions as he tried to get a glimpse of his own eyebrow ring.
AJ started when he glanced at Eli, his hand flying to his heart. ‘Dude, what the fuck, you can’t do that right now, you turned into Frankenstein’s monster’s older brother,’ he whined, and breathed a sigh of relief when Eli’s face returned to normal and blinked at him, a mix between confused and offended.
‘So we’re all here?’ Soohyun asked, squinting slightly around the group.
Eli glanced around. ‘No.’
‘We’re still missing two,’ Hoon clarified.
‘Oh,’ Soohyun said quietly.
‘Let’s. Head this way,’ AJ decided, and they moved off at a fairly slow pace, three pairs of shoes squishing along as they extricated themselves from darkish backstreets to illuminated main streets, bustling with life and colour, audio assaulting their senses.
‘Back,’ Hoon intervened, wincing at the loud sounds, and headed a road back, breathing a sigh of relief at the slightly more peaceful road, crowding sounds alleviating their attack on his eardrums.
‘How are we going to find them?’ Eli asked once they’d gone a little way.
‘Map?’ Dongho suggested, holding out the phone.
‘Unless it has a tracking device, I don’t think it’s going to work,’ Hoon remarked dryly.
‘He’s right, we’re the only ones with the map,’ Eli agreed, and Hoon tilted his head, debating whether or not to correct Eli’s interpretation of his words, and ultimately deciding not to.
‘But Kiseop drew the map, he might be kind of heading in the direction of the treasure,’ Dongho tried.
Eli paused. ‘Actually, you may have a point. Okay, gimme the map, let’s try figure this out.’
‘Where are you going?’ AJ asked Soohyun quietly as he moved towards the nearest door (which happened to be a bar- no seriously, how many bars were in this area).
Soohyun looked at him guiltily. ‘I’ll buy you a drink?’ he offered tentatively.
‘Can I order something other than rum?’ AJ asked.
Soohyun appeared to have a brief mental struggle with himself before giving a nod. ‘Anything you want.’
AJ glanced at Eli and Dongho poring over the phone and Hoon rubbing his temples.
‘Deal,’ he told Soohyun and the two sidled towards the bar.
Hoon turned and walked away from the two bickering over which way the map was supposed to be facing, eager for some quiet to sooth his over-stimulated mind.
He found himself in an alley, and his brow furrowed as his ears filtered out a familiar voice from the ambient noise. He glanced back where he came, seeing Dongho point emphatically to the map while saying something to Eli and then in the direction he’d heard the voice, and heaved himself off the wall.
‘Oh, hello!’ Kevin greeted as Hoon emerged from the alley, grinning at him happily.
‘Hi. How did you- hi,’ Hoon finished, deciding he probably didn’t want to know.
‘I was wondering where you had gotten to. Are the others nearby?’ Kevin asked serenely.
Hoon nodded, his attention slightly distracted by Kiseop, who was gesticulating at a tree, looking up in the air, and Hoon thought he looked as if he was directing a plane to land.
‘What exactly is he doing?’ Hoon asked, deciding he had to know.
‘Helping some fellow pirates,’ Kevin replied.
‘Fellow pirates,’ Hoon repeated.
Kevin nodded. ‘I think they’re from the moon.’
‘Oh,’ Hoon nodded. ‘Where did he get the pirate hat?’
Kevin shrugged. ‘I don’t know. He just had it. I have no idea where it came from. Probably from the space pirates,’ he confided and Hoon gave a sceptical nod, narrowing his eyes at Kiseop in wary confusion.
Hoon jumped as Kevin let out a shriek, ducking and covering his head with his arms, leaving Hoon to look around wildly for incoming projectiles.
Kevin straightened up quickly though, a sheepish chuckle bubbling from his throat.
'Sorry about that, the chicken gave me a fright,' he apologised.
Hoon blinked at him. 'What chicken.'
'The chicken that's been following us all night, or course. I think its name's Marny.' Kevin paused. 'Possibly Marty.'
'Are you sure that wasn't just Eli? He does have a propensity for imitating animals,' Hoon said.
Kevin scoffed. 'Don't be silly, Marty's a wonderful guy-'
'I though he was a chicken.'
'Just because he's a chicken doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings!' Kevin argued.
Hoon blinked again in the sudden silence following Kevin's little outburst.
'He's deathly afraid of frying pans,' Kevin informed Hoon loftily.
Hoon morosely thought he'd rather have a goose following them around than a chicken.
He'd always had a bit of an attachment to geese.
He shrugged. ‘I’ll go get the other guys,’ he said and paused before he headed back through the alley. ‘Stay,’ he told Kevin and got an eye-crinkling grin in response, which he decided to trust.
‘Guys, I think we’ve-‘ Eli stopped, looking around. ‘Where’d everyone go.’
‘I found Kevin and Kiseop,’ Hoon said behind him, and the phone almost went flying as Eli leapt in fright.
‘Not fair!’ he complained.
‘We figured out the map, we think we might know where to find the other two,’ Dongho told Hoon excitedly.
‘Yeah, they’re. Through there,’ Hoon said, pointing through the alley. ‘I just found them.’
Dongho blinked. ‘Oh.’
‘Where’re the other other two?’ Eli asked.
‘Probably in the bar,’ Hoon guessed.
‘There’s a bar?’ Eli exclaimed, his head whipping in the direction Hoon pointed.
Hoon heaved a long suffering sigh, wisps of blue twisting in his peripheral vision. ‘I’ll go get them.’
AJ and Soohyun were a little more wobbly on their feet when Hoon dragged them out the bar (not that that was saying much in Soohyun’s case), prompting Eli and Dongho to follow him through the alley as well.
‘The best ones for samples are at the top,’ Kiseop was shouting at the air, pointing to the fruit tree.
‘No, you’re right, discrimination is rife in the workplace, I can only imagine how marginalised you must feel. Always being chased, it must be terrible,’ Kevin was saying to the empty space next to where he was sitting on the floor.
‘See, I told you going to a bar would help us find them,’ Soohyun told Hoon.
‘No, you didn’t,’ Hoon replied.
‘Well, I was thinking it,’ Soohyun amended.
‘No, you weren’t,’ AJ added.
‘Okay, no, I wasn’t, but that’s not the point.’ Soohyun gave a definitive nod, freezing when it almost knocked him off balance.
‘What’s Kiseop doing?’ Dongho asked Hoon.
‘Kevin mentioned pirates from the moon,’ Hoon replied and Dongho nodded as if it made perfect sense (it did in his mind at least).
‘Who’re you talking to?’ Eli asked Kevin, and Kevin looked up at him in surprise.
‘When did you arrive?’ he exclaimed.
‘Just now,’ Eli said.
‘Seriously, who were you talking to?’ AJ asked, peering into the shadows as if someone would materialise.
‘Marty the chicken,’ Kevin replied matter-of-factly, ‘Obviously.’
‘Marty the chicken?’ AJ repeated uncertainly.
‘He’s right here, you don’t have to be so rude, okay, just because you haven’t met him,’ Kevin told him off.
‘Are you kidding me? Rude? Marty’s my bro, man, we’re tight,’ Eli declared, apparently indignant Kevin would assume otherwise.
Kevin smiled, apparently mollified.
‘You see the chicken too?’ AJ whispered to Eli.
‘Nope,’ Eli replied, ‘But I can be tight with invisible chickens, I’m cool like that.’
Soohyun was staring at Eli and Kevin talk about Marty, a mystified look on his face.
'What is this strange alien tongue?' he mused out loud, and AJ eyed him.
'Hyung, you're so far gone. It's English.'
'Ah,' Soohyun said, nodding sagely. 'That's a Plutonian dialect, right?'
AJ could only stare. He was pretty sure it was a dialect a bit closer to home than Pluto, even though he didn't have the mental capacity to pinpoint where exactly it was from further than elsewhere on earth right now- he didn't go to an intergalactic school, after all.
'I am going to try lose you now,' he informed Soohyun seriously.
Soohyun nodded again (had he stopped? AJ wasn't sure). 'Have fun,' he said airily.
AJ edged away from Soohyun and Hoon caught his sleeve.
‘If anyone’s gonna lose him, it’s gonna be me. Don’t go,’ Hoon pleaded.
‘I was just. Going to move this side of you, because he’s hurting my brain right now,’ AJ told Hoon, who breathed a sigh of relief.
‘The rest of my crew!’ Kiseop cried, finally seeing them and walking towards them with a wide grin.
‘Your crew?’ Soohyun questioned loudly.
‘I have the hat, I’m the captain,’ Kiseop told him.
‘Conceded,’ Soohyun subsided.
‘So which way are we going, Captain?’ Dongho asked.
‘Yes, I suppose we should keep moving,’ Kiseop agreed and looked at Eli. ‘Do you have the map?’
‘Hmm? Oh, yeah.’ Eli dug in his pocket and pulled out the phone, handing it to Kiseop, who studied the map thoughtfully.
‘That way,’ Kiseop decided, pointing roughly behind him.
Hoon followed his finger. ‘Into the wall?’
Kiseop looked behind him, and adjusted where his finger was pointing. ‘That way.’
With a few mumbles (and a few stumbles), and Kiseop waving at the air, they moved on at a slow amble.
A fair distance later, Hoon glanced around and stopped with a groan.
‘Guys,’ he called, ‘We’re missing two.’
‘Let’s backtrack,’ Dongho suggested, looking around.
They didn’t have to go far back before Hoon called for a halt.
A couple minutes and a sheepishly complaining AJ and Soohyun were being dragged out of a bar.
‘You can’t just disappear,’ Hoon berated them.
‘I thought he’d said something!’ AJ cried.
Soohyun looked sheepish. ‘I might have. Told him I said something,’ he muttered, his syllables slightly unclear.
‘Anyway,’ Kiseop interrupted, eyeing them sternly. ‘Moving on.’
--
Kevin dragged Eli out of the next bar by his ear, Soohyun and AJ following close behind.
‘Why are you only abusing me!’ Eli complained loudly.
‘You should know better!’
‘Why would you think that!’
--
‘About turn!’ Kiseop announced after glancing behind him, and the entire group let out a groan, Eli looking fairly smug when Soohyun and AJ were recovered, AJ still holding a bottle of beer.
--
‘Wait, stop,’ Dongho declared, throwing his hands out, and everyone else glanced around the group.
‘He did come out of the last bar, right?’ Hoon demanded, ‘He didn’t sneak back in, did he, because we have not passed another one, I know that for sure.’
‘No, he definitely did,’ Kevin agreed, after a brief pause. ‘Marty saw him,’ he said as an aside to Eli, who nodded.
‘Well? Where is he?’ Kiseop asked AJ, who just shrugged and took another swig of his beer.
They jumped at a sudden noise from a nearby alley and some indecipherable mumbles preceded Soohyun’s stumbling emergence from said alley, straightening his pants.
‘What,’ he said at their stares. ‘Nature called.’
‘Ewww,’ Kevin whined, crinkling his nose.
--
‘Okay, let’s all just have a drink.’
‘All in favour say aye!’
‘Aye!’ Five voices chorused, a sixth joining in a beat too late.
‘We can sit down!’
--
Soohyun was now hanging onto Dongho for support, having just been foisted off Eli’s shoulder, and AJ had his head buried in the back of Hoon’s neck, whimpering whenever his knees failed to correctly judge the distance to the ground.
Kiseop glanced around at everyone and straightened his hat, squinting at the building ahead of them.
‘We’re here,’ he announced.
They all blinked up at the building towering in front of them, one of Soohyun’s eyes more closed than the other as he tried to focus.
‘Oh, hey, this is our building!’ Kevin exclaimed a beat later.
‘Oh,’ Soohyun said, blinking rapidly at the building.
‘I thought it looked familiar,’ AJ mumbled over Hoon’s shoulder.
‘By the way,’ Kiseop interjected, ‘We’re all crashing at your place tonight.’
‘But-‘ Kevin started.
‘Captain’s orders!’ Kiseop declared.
‘Okay,’ Kevin sighed.
The stairs were manoeuvred with only one or two sudden meetings with the floor, and soon they were standing in front of a nondescript door.
‘So are you going to open it?’ Dongho asked Soohyun after a minute or so.
Soohyun blinked at the door. ‘Don’t know how keys work right now,’ he replied, words tripping over each other.
‘I left my keys inside,’ Kevin said apologetically and AJ let out a muffled moan, digging in a pocket and extending his arm, keys dangling from his fingers.
‘Was this really where the map led?’ Eli asked Kiseop as the door was wrested open.
Kiseop shrugged. ‘Seemed as good a place as any.’
‘The idea of bed is the best treasure ever right now,’ Dongho burbled, Soohyun having stumbled from his shoulder.
‘You look like you’re about to cry,’ Eli said to Dongho.
‘I think I have done more exercise tonight than I have in the last year, I just want to go to sleep,’ Dongho whined, and Eli patted him on the shoulder.
‘I call the couch, but I’ll give you a pillow,’ he said.
‘That’s all I need,’ Dongho wibbled, slinging an arm around Eli’s shoulder as they headed towards the lounge, Eli wincing when he knocked his leg on a stray piece of furniture.
Soohyun was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, swaying slightly, a hand on the doorframe in a futile attempt to steady himself.
‘Okay,’ he managed, ‘the next time my bed comes around, I’m definitely jumping on.’
‘That’s my room, that’s my room, that’s my room!’ Kevin’s voice grew steadily louder as he followed Kiseop, making Hoon wince.
‘How are you so normal right now?’ AJ asked him in bemusement, a pitiful look on his face.
Hoon paused. ‘I have been seeing sound all night and it’s highly disconcerting,’ he shared. ‘Why are you feeling so bad?’
‘Mixed too many drinks, I think,’ AJ mumbled.
‘Grain and grape together, huh?’ Hoon said sympathetically.
‘And potato and cactus and I don’t even know what else. I am so jealous of you right now,’ AJ whined.
‘Don’t be. Don’t be. Winged words are flying around in different colours and I feel like I’m living in a rainbow but it’s not necessarily a friendly rainbows because walls keep melting and I just want to close my eyes but I kept losing everyone and-‘ Hoon’s words tumbled out, falling over each other and he stopped, fireworks of colour exploding around his head and making him wince.
AJ blinked at him. ‘Right. Well. My stomach doesn’t agree with this conversation, so I’m going to bed.’
Hoon’s brow furrowed as AJ stumbled off. ‘That’s the bathroom,’ he said.
‘My bed tonight is the bath,’ AJ declared, turning back to face Hoon and pausing at the door. ‘My stomach agrees with that.’
‘Then I’m taking your bed,’ Hoon said instantly, and AJ waved a hand as he stumbled into the bathroom.
‘Go for it.’
Hoon turned and headed for AJ’s room, tripping over some stray books before collapsing on the bed.
He watched the shadows twisting around each other on the ceiling, stories being played out in monochrome with technicolour bursts accenting them, before he groaned and buried his face in the pillow, mumbling about how next time this happened he wasn’t moving from a safe place and whose idea was it to play pirates anyway.
‘Eli. Eli, are you still awake?’ Dongho asked into the dark silence of the lounge.
‘No,’ came the muffled reply after a pause.
‘Can I have another pillow?’
A pillow landed on Dongho’s face and he cuddled into it contentedly.
‘Thanks.’
‘Good night, Captain Kiseop,’ Kevin said, his feet colliding with Kiseop’s back as he curled into his side of the bed.
‘Night, first mate Kevin,’ Kiseop replied, tugging the blanket up around his shoulders.
Kevin frowned at the blanket slipped off his shoulders, and pulled it back towards him a bit.
‘Night, Marty,’ Kevin sighed, resigning himself to too little blanket that night.
‘Who’s Marty?’
‘The chicken,’ Kevin told Kiseop with a roll of his eyes.
‘Oh.’
‘Why does no one notice him, it’s quite hurtful,’ Kevin said, twisting his back, his elbow colliding with Kiseop’s heels.
‘Night, Marty,’ Kiseop’s voice floated up.
Kevin paused and then turned back to the wall, bringing the blanket around him again. ‘He says night.’
‘Can you ask him to lay some eggs for breakfast?’ Kiseop asked, and Kevin kicked him on purpose this time.
‘He’s a chicken, not a grocery store.’
And as the sun rose over the horizon, filtering through city windows, the apartment was filled with soft snores.