a throwback into the past
so, second post within a week. not bad, if i may say so myself.
i'm really getting into arashi these days. they were the ones who started everything for me. before i was into k-pop, i was into j-pop. that was when i was still in high school. i was prolly 15 or 16 years old then. i didn't even know livejournal existed back then. i wasn't active in the fandom. i didn't even know fandom existed yet. lol.
i remember surfing youtube back then ('cause youtube was still new, flourishing; not like now, dead) and coming upon this shaky fancam of dbsk singing love in the ice during the osaka a-nation. i fell in love with them then. the fancam was so bad that i couldn't even see their faces but, god, their voices were incredible. even though the quality of the video was so bad, their singing got to me. the dbsk fandom became my home for the next two to three years. and then, all this crap started happening and it wasn't making me happy anymore. it was adding stress to my life. i know it's selfish but i didn't need that in my life. gradually, even though i was trying so hard to stop it, i lost that level of interest i used to have in them. it's not that i don't like them anymore. i do and i always will. it's just that i'm not consumed with the need to know what they're up to every second of the day anymore. when i realized i could delete some of their files without breaking out in cold sweat, it felt good. really good.
after dbsk, i got into my chemical romance. i think it was a reaction to the fact that pop was almost all i've been listening to for almost 3 years. MCR headlined the 2011 Reading Festival and they were effing amazing. i remember repeatedly watching that performance while writing digests for law school. they were just so on during that performance. and i'd like to think i understand what that gig meant for them. MCR got bottled during their performance in the 2006 Reading Festival. They swore then that they weren't coming back to that festival unless they were headlining. and in 2011, they did just that and they had the crowd eating out of their hands. it was a triumph for them and i just felt so happy and proud.
and then i downloaded the three death note movies. matsuken was amazing in those movies. i just wanted to watch more of his work that i ended up downloading gantz. and who do i find co-starring with matsuken in gantz? nino of arashi. nino in gantz got me to download ryuusei no kizuna. he was so damned good in that series. i suddenly wanted to watch his niji solo. niji is testament to the fact that nino is one talented songwriter. gimmick game, more so. complicated lyrics with a simple melody. amazing. i wanted to watch nino more. this led me to download arashi stuff. suddenly, i didn't just want to watch nino. i wanted to watch arashi. they're just so funny and hardworking. they may not be the most talented bunch in the world (forgive me for being honest but i'm just paraphrasing nino here during their time con :P) but their sincerity, perseverance and passion makes up for it. it's their 11th year. their big break came only during 2006 or 2007. it's amazing to see how far they've come. i want to stick with them this time. i'm afraid, though, to get too much into the arashi fandom. i'm afraid to make friends in it. i don't know why. maybe because i know how dirty and frustrating fandom can really be? don't get me wrong. fandom is a lot of fun and you meet so many people. it's a fantastic experience but it has its dark sides. i'm afraid to get caught up in that dark again.
so here i am, caught in a quagmire. they are just some things you only get to experience if you're really in the fandom. at the same time, being in the fandom can prevent you from fully experiencing some things.
i can't believe i wrote an entire essay about this. jesus.
i'm really getting into arashi these days. they were the ones who started everything for me. before i was into k-pop, i was into j-pop. that was when i was still in high school. i was prolly 15 or 16 years old then. i didn't even know livejournal existed back then. i wasn't active in the fandom. i didn't even know fandom existed yet. lol.
i remember surfing youtube back then ('cause youtube was still new, flourishing; not like now, dead) and coming upon this shaky fancam of dbsk singing love in the ice during the osaka a-nation. i fell in love with them then. the fancam was so bad that i couldn't even see their faces but, god, their voices were incredible. even though the quality of the video was so bad, their singing got to me. the dbsk fandom became my home for the next two to three years. and then, all this crap started happening and it wasn't making me happy anymore. it was adding stress to my life. i know it's selfish but i didn't need that in my life. gradually, even though i was trying so hard to stop it, i lost that level of interest i used to have in them. it's not that i don't like them anymore. i do and i always will. it's just that i'm not consumed with the need to know what they're up to every second of the day anymore. when i realized i could delete some of their files without breaking out in cold sweat, it felt good. really good.
after dbsk, i got into my chemical romance. i think it was a reaction to the fact that pop was almost all i've been listening to for almost 3 years. MCR headlined the 2011 Reading Festival and they were effing amazing. i remember repeatedly watching that performance while writing digests for law school. they were just so on during that performance. and i'd like to think i understand what that gig meant for them. MCR got bottled during their performance in the 2006 Reading Festival. They swore then that they weren't coming back to that festival unless they were headlining. and in 2011, they did just that and they had the crowd eating out of their hands. it was a triumph for them and i just felt so happy and proud.
and then i downloaded the three death note movies. matsuken was amazing in those movies. i just wanted to watch more of his work that i ended up downloading gantz. and who do i find co-starring with matsuken in gantz? nino of arashi. nino in gantz got me to download ryuusei no kizuna. he was so damned good in that series. i suddenly wanted to watch his niji solo. niji is testament to the fact that nino is one talented songwriter. gimmick game, more so. complicated lyrics with a simple melody. amazing. i wanted to watch nino more. this led me to download arashi stuff. suddenly, i didn't just want to watch nino. i wanted to watch arashi. they're just so funny and hardworking. they may not be the most talented bunch in the world (forgive me for being honest but i'm just paraphrasing nino here during their time con :P) but their sincerity, perseverance and passion makes up for it. it's their 11th year. their big break came only during 2006 or 2007. it's amazing to see how far they've come. i want to stick with them this time. i'm afraid, though, to get too much into the arashi fandom. i'm afraid to make friends in it. i don't know why. maybe because i know how dirty and frustrating fandom can really be? don't get me wrong. fandom is a lot of fun and you meet so many people. it's a fantastic experience but it has its dark sides. i'm afraid to get caught up in that dark again.
so here i am, caught in a quagmire. they are just some things you only get to experience if you're really in the fandom. at the same time, being in the fandom can prevent you from fully experiencing some things.
i can't believe i wrote an entire essay about this. jesus.