bad ideas and worse ideas: a handbook for morons
the bar is...simply that...i hope not to have to work there much longer...we will just leave it at that...it isn't terrible but the owner doesn't quite understand...i am the bartender, the bar belongs to me, if i cut someone off, i cut them off...you can't make this all about money when i am serving one of the only two legal drugs in the country...so, here's to looking for a new job...
however, that isn't quite yet because i got into intermezzo again, so i am going to brugge...i told the two italian summer programs i wouldn't be joining them this year, although thank you very much for the opportunity...i haven't heard back from altamura, colorado or delaware, so i consider them a lost cause...i have the score for nozze di figaro, although it is still a very small role, as most of my roles tend to be...although i can understudy whomever i feel would be most helpful...so i am understudying the countess, because i am an egotistical soprano, and barbarina, because i am an egotistical soprano who has aspirations of slyly moving up the ranks during this production...there are also supposed to be opera scenes that we will be performing, although i need to wait until june to get the full info on that...because one month is a good amount of time to give people to memorize music...i like the way they figure their times and such...i am not doing intermezzo's travel package, because at first i wanted to travel to filiano, which is in the middle of nowhere in italy and is where my grandfather was born, and also because there was no way i could get a check to them by the first of april on the thirtieth of march...but then i changed my mind and i have decided that i want to go to ireland instead...because they speak some sort of english...it is actually a lot cheaper to fly aer lingus into dublin and then into brussels, and then i figure i'll get a regional europass for the benelux/france/ireland region, take the train to brugge, possibly go to brittany while in brugge, take the train back to brussels, then either fly into dublin or take the ferry thing into dublin, then travel around europe, visit kenmare (which is in the middle of nowhere ireland and i also have family from there) and then fly out from dublin back to jkf in new york...but these are just tenative plans, so i really have no idea what i am doing...
i got an audition, based solely off my relatively pathetic resume, for pensacola opera's resident artist program...i so don't feel ready for this, but i think i need to start going out of limbs, or i'm simply not going to be doing anything except passing people beer and wishing for a time machine...i am flying down on the friday before the audition, the audition is on saturday, and then i am flying back on sunday...if i get it, i will have to live in florida for a while, which i wouldn't be so happy about, but i'd be doing what i wanted so shut up on my part, plus it is right near a navel base, so hopefully i can get a bartending job...
those two girls who hadn't learned anything left the studio, and while i regret both my losing money and my boss losing money, i don't regret not teaching them anymore...i don't really consider this my fault though because stuck around for almost a year until i really really began to stress practicing and told the parents that if they didn't practice there was really nothing else i could do for them...so i guess they decided that they didn't want to make the commitment of ten minutes a day, so not my problem anymore...i've gotten a few new students, so they are more then made up for and then some, and at least i won't hate an hour of my week anymore...
i have decided that i am going to stop therapy...i can only afford to go once a month, and it isn't enough if it is going to work at all...and the therapist, who agrees with this statement, does not seem to understand that i can't afford anymore...and because my money is going towards bigger and better, although possibly less mental sound, things, i really am done with it...i simply can't afford the level of treatment i need...
i hope to get my performer's certificate by may, or if not, by august...i have finished the work and done all i can do, now i have to wait for some other people to get off their asses...
there are two more places i want to visit: an abandoned speedway in central jersey and an abandoned brick factory in the pine barrens...this is besides my regular exploration of morris county...i also found some fantastic new sites associated with the richard mine in the actual park, and also one further down the road chilling in the woods which i will have to go explore at some point...
for some stupid reason i joined both match.com and chemistry.com and paid for the privilege, like a loser...i have gotten quite a few hits on both, and made the stupid mistake of giving some guy my number because he gave me his (note to self: you don't always have to reciprocate) even though i wasn't that interested and then like an hour later he called...i ignored the call and let it go to voicemail...he never left a message, so i don't really feel obligated to return the call, especcially after i specifically asked him to please text, as i can't always easily take phone calls when i am teaching or bartending...so obviously he can't listen...but hopefully he will never call again...and maybe figure out that i'm not asian, which is one of the things he is looking for in a woman...none of the other guys seem interesting...great...there is a certain something i am looking for that i can't really define, but i do know that it tends to occur in northwestern european men...it is this sort of mischievous confidence that translates into a sexiness when we both know he may not be that good looking...and i find that people who compliment me on my intelligence rarely have anything good to say to me, which is very frustrating...so i have no hope, and when the time that i have paid for (like an idiot) is up, i will simply discontinue the account and perhaps change my phone number...
however, that isn't quite yet because i got into intermezzo again, so i am going to brugge...i told the two italian summer programs i wouldn't be joining them this year, although thank you very much for the opportunity...i haven't heard back from altamura, colorado or delaware, so i consider them a lost cause...i have the score for nozze di figaro, although it is still a very small role, as most of my roles tend to be...although i can understudy whomever i feel would be most helpful...so i am understudying the countess, because i am an egotistical soprano, and barbarina, because i am an egotistical soprano who has aspirations of slyly moving up the ranks during this production...there are also supposed to be opera scenes that we will be performing, although i need to wait until june to get the full info on that...because one month is a good amount of time to give people to memorize music...i like the way they figure their times and such...i am not doing intermezzo's travel package, because at first i wanted to travel to filiano, which is in the middle of nowhere in italy and is where my grandfather was born, and also because there was no way i could get a check to them by the first of april on the thirtieth of march...but then i changed my mind and i have decided that i want to go to ireland instead...because they speak some sort of english...it is actually a lot cheaper to fly aer lingus into dublin and then into brussels, and then i figure i'll get a regional europass for the benelux/france/ireland region, take the train to brugge, possibly go to brittany while in brugge, take the train back to brussels, then either fly into dublin or take the ferry thing into dublin, then travel around europe, visit kenmare (which is in the middle of nowhere ireland and i also have family from there) and then fly out from dublin back to jkf in new york...but these are just tenative plans, so i really have no idea what i am doing...
i got an audition, based solely off my relatively pathetic resume, for pensacola opera's resident artist program...i so don't feel ready for this, but i think i need to start going out of limbs, or i'm simply not going to be doing anything except passing people beer and wishing for a time machine...i am flying down on the friday before the audition, the audition is on saturday, and then i am flying back on sunday...if i get it, i will have to live in florida for a while, which i wouldn't be so happy about, but i'd be doing what i wanted so shut up on my part, plus it is right near a navel base, so hopefully i can get a bartending job...
those two girls who hadn't learned anything left the studio, and while i regret both my losing money and my boss losing money, i don't regret not teaching them anymore...i don't really consider this my fault though because stuck around for almost a year until i really really began to stress practicing and told the parents that if they didn't practice there was really nothing else i could do for them...so i guess they decided that they didn't want to make the commitment of ten minutes a day, so not my problem anymore...i've gotten a few new students, so they are more then made up for and then some, and at least i won't hate an hour of my week anymore...
i have decided that i am going to stop therapy...i can only afford to go once a month, and it isn't enough if it is going to work at all...and the therapist, who agrees with this statement, does not seem to understand that i can't afford anymore...and because my money is going towards bigger and better, although possibly less mental sound, things, i really am done with it...i simply can't afford the level of treatment i need...
i hope to get my performer's certificate by may, or if not, by august...i have finished the work and done all i can do, now i have to wait for some other people to get off their asses...
there are two more places i want to visit: an abandoned speedway in central jersey and an abandoned brick factory in the pine barrens...this is besides my regular exploration of morris county...i also found some fantastic new sites associated with the richard mine in the actual park, and also one further down the road chilling in the woods which i will have to go explore at some point...
for some stupid reason i joined both match.com and chemistry.com and paid for the privilege, like a loser...i have gotten quite a few hits on both, and made the stupid mistake of giving some guy my number because he gave me his (note to self: you don't always have to reciprocate) even though i wasn't that interested and then like an hour later he called...i ignored the call and let it go to voicemail...he never left a message, so i don't really feel obligated to return the call, especcially after i specifically asked him to please text, as i can't always easily take phone calls when i am teaching or bartending...so obviously he can't listen...but hopefully he will never call again...and maybe figure out that i'm not asian, which is one of the things he is looking for in a woman...none of the other guys seem interesting...great...there is a certain something i am looking for that i can't really define, but i do know that it tends to occur in northwestern european men...it is this sort of mischievous confidence that translates into a sexiness when we both know he may not be that good looking...and i find that people who compliment me on my intelligence rarely have anything good to say to me, which is very frustrating...so i have no hope, and when the time that i have paid for (like an idiot) is up, i will simply discontinue the account and perhaps change my phone number...