(no subject)
PersuasionWow this essay needed a ton more work, even after I submitted it for marking (so embarrassed). One thing I learned with all of these essays is my grammar skills are awful and I should go back to grade 11! Not lots of helpful feed back from editors, but I understand sometimes when an essay is such a mess it’s hard to know where to start with trying to fix it. It helped a lot to read it out loud to myself, I reconstructed almost every sentence. It is a topic I feel very strongly about so I think I tried to cram too much in to one short essay. It was a mess and I didn’t even get the main point of writing it! So hopefully now there is a “call to action” and no mechanical errors…I hope…
Is There Such A Thing As A Good Spanking?
By Chantal Brosseau
I once witnessed a child hit another child in a playground. I watched the father come over and grab his child’s hand, pull him away to the side and lecture him how it is wrong to hit other children. The father then smacked his child on the wrist and told him that he never wanted to see him hit anyone again. Not only did I find this completely hypocritical but also very ineffective. I saw the same child later that week without his father again hit another child for no apparent reason. This child clearly learned nothing from the incident last week perhaps he only learned that it is okay to hit other children when his father is not around. This is when I first started to feel very strongly about how ineffective this type of punishment is. I think that it is wrong for parents to spank their children because it is physically and mentally abusive towards that child and because most parents do not realize that this can cause negative effects later on in life. Anyone who is abused in a way that makes them feel inferior is susceptible to developing insecurities and resentment issues. Spanking also teaches children that hitting is the right way to express certain feelings towards someone who makes them angry. As parents we need to take time to educate ourselves in what is best for our children as well as seeking out alternative methods for punishment.
As a live-in nanny with several families I have witnessed the difference between parents who spank their children and those who do not. I noticed that most children who are spanked are never explained what it is they did wrong or why it was wrong. From my observations, I also noticed spanking occurs mainly out of the frustration of the parent who is just "too tired or distracted to treat their child with [the] patience and understanding" (Hunt 170) that it needs. Because the child is not spoken with it never learns what it is it did wrong or what it is suppose to do. Spanking causes children to behave in the presence of their parents solely out of fear. Most parents are unaware that this is an ineffective form of punishment that creates fear within a child. It is then important to know that "strong inner values can only grow in freedom, never under fear" (Hunt 171). Children behave "badly" in the first place because they are usually seeking something basic like sleep, nutrition, exercise or fresh air, but most importantly children are constantly in need of positive attention from their parents (Hunt 170). By my experience parents who spend more time with their children are more effective in teaching them how to be respectful and how to listen, than parents who spend the majority of their time just getting angry and frustrated.
The formative years of an individual are the most crucial in shaping their morals and values. Parents are the number one role models through these early years and if children rarely see their parents handle anger in a positive effective manner how can they learn to do so themselves? Studies have shown that spanking results in a number of problems including "[d]iminishing the quality of parent child relations, poorer child and adult mental health, increased delinquencies and antisocial behavior for children, increased criminal and antisocial behavior in adults, and increase the chance of being a victim of abuse or abusing ones own child or spouse” (Kazdin 101). Most parents are uneducated about the negative effects that spanking can cause and do it as an instant reaction that makes themselves feel better; they become frustrated and have neither time nor patience to teach their children. Spanking may keep a child quiet and well behaved for the time being but for all the wrong reasons.
Children do not have to be spanked to learn a lesson. There are many other ways to teach children right from wrong which do not cause negative psychological effects on their well being. However this takes time, thought and patience from the parent, if these are things you do not have then maybe parenting is not for you. Remaining calm, removing your self from the situation and considering alternatives to spanking are key factors when frustrated with children. Giving them the choice; either they can listen to you or they can chose to go without something you know they want is a very productive way in making children listen. My parents used to make me run around the house if I was misbehaving; I think this is a good form of punishment because your children get fresh air as well as the exercise. Of course there were consequences if I refused to go such as no television for a week or no visiting with friends. With younger children a simple time out can be the end of the world. I am sure most of us remember the dreadful feeling of what it was like to sit in a corner facing the wall for what felt like eternity.
Parents who think spanking is acceptable need to spend some time reading the abundance of material available that does not support hitting as an effective way to punish children. Raising a child right is and should be, one of the most important things to achieve in a parents life time. Parents need to spend more time with their children clearly explaining what is and what is not appropriate while demonstrating how to deal with anger in a positive way. And for those parents who do not believe in spanking, we need to help other parents find alternative methods that work for them and their children. Children do not need to experience any form of physical or mental abuse that will affect their character which is essential as developing, little human beings.
Works Cited
Hunt, Jan. "Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids." Breaking Down the Wall of Silence Appendix D (1997): 168- 171
Kazdin, Alan. "Spanking Children: Evidence and Issues." Current Directions In Psychological Science 12.3 (2003): 99- 103
Is There Such A Thing As A Good Spanking?
By Chantal Brosseau
I once witnessed a child hit another child in a playground. I watched the father come over and grab his child’s hand, pull him away to the side and lecture him how it is wrong to hit other children. The father then smacked his child on the wrist and told him that he never wanted to see him hit anyone again. Not only did I find this completely hypocritical but also very ineffective. I saw the same child later that week without his father again hit another child for no apparent reason. This child clearly learned nothing from the incident last week perhaps he only learned that it is okay to hit other children when his father is not around. This is when I first started to feel very strongly about how ineffective this type of punishment is. I think that it is wrong for parents to spank their children because it is physically and mentally abusive towards that child and because most parents do not realize that this can cause negative effects later on in life. Anyone who is abused in a way that makes them feel inferior is susceptible to developing insecurities and resentment issues. Spanking also teaches children that hitting is the right way to express certain feelings towards someone who makes them angry. As parents we need to take time to educate ourselves in what is best for our children as well as seeking out alternative methods for punishment.
As a live-in nanny with several families I have witnessed the difference between parents who spank their children and those who do not. I noticed that most children who are spanked are never explained what it is they did wrong or why it was wrong. From my observations, I also noticed spanking occurs mainly out of the frustration of the parent who is just "too tired or distracted to treat their child with [the] patience and understanding" (Hunt 170) that it needs. Because the child is not spoken with it never learns what it is it did wrong or what it is suppose to do. Spanking causes children to behave in the presence of their parents solely out of fear. Most parents are unaware that this is an ineffective form of punishment that creates fear within a child. It is then important to know that "strong inner values can only grow in freedom, never under fear" (Hunt 171). Children behave "badly" in the first place because they are usually seeking something basic like sleep, nutrition, exercise or fresh air, but most importantly children are constantly in need of positive attention from their parents (Hunt 170). By my experience parents who spend more time with their children are more effective in teaching them how to be respectful and how to listen, than parents who spend the majority of their time just getting angry and frustrated.
The formative years of an individual are the most crucial in shaping their morals and values. Parents are the number one role models through these early years and if children rarely see their parents handle anger in a positive effective manner how can they learn to do so themselves? Studies have shown that spanking results in a number of problems including "[d]iminishing the quality of parent child relations, poorer child and adult mental health, increased delinquencies and antisocial behavior for children, increased criminal and antisocial behavior in adults, and increase the chance of being a victim of abuse or abusing ones own child or spouse” (Kazdin 101). Most parents are uneducated about the negative effects that spanking can cause and do it as an instant reaction that makes themselves feel better; they become frustrated and have neither time nor patience to teach their children. Spanking may keep a child quiet and well behaved for the time being but for all the wrong reasons.
Children do not have to be spanked to learn a lesson. There are many other ways to teach children right from wrong which do not cause negative psychological effects on their well being. However this takes time, thought and patience from the parent, if these are things you do not have then maybe parenting is not for you. Remaining calm, removing your self from the situation and considering alternatives to spanking are key factors when frustrated with children. Giving them the choice; either they can listen to you or they can chose to go without something you know they want is a very productive way in making children listen. My parents used to make me run around the house if I was misbehaving; I think this is a good form of punishment because your children get fresh air as well as the exercise. Of course there were consequences if I refused to go such as no television for a week or no visiting with friends. With younger children a simple time out can be the end of the world. I am sure most of us remember the dreadful feeling of what it was like to sit in a corner facing the wall for what felt like eternity.
Parents who think spanking is acceptable need to spend some time reading the abundance of material available that does not support hitting as an effective way to punish children. Raising a child right is and should be, one of the most important things to achieve in a parents life time. Parents need to spend more time with their children clearly explaining what is and what is not appropriate while demonstrating how to deal with anger in a positive way. And for those parents who do not believe in spanking, we need to help other parents find alternative methods that work for them and their children. Children do not need to experience any form of physical or mental abuse that will affect their character which is essential as developing, little human beings.
Works Cited
Hunt, Jan. "Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids." Breaking Down the Wall of Silence Appendix D (1997): 168- 171
Kazdin, Alan. "Spanking Children: Evidence and Issues." Current Directions In Psychological Science 12.3 (2003): 99- 103