Picking up the breadcrumbs of my life before the pigeons can pluck them away
Don't ask. I really couldn't tell you.
So, today I got a phone call from one of the members of the writing group, who is...(drumroll please)...you guessed it: dropping out! We're dropping like flies lately. Since May, we've lost 3 members, and we only had 7 to start with. I had been feeling really good about the group, but now I can't help but wonder. Is it something I've done? I swear, I've showered... In reality, every time this has happened, we've recovered, and been fine. But I harbor this secret fear that at some point, the critical mass of drop-outs will tip the balance, and the rest of the writers will scatter like dry leaves before the wind, leaving me back where I was before.
But then I have to look at myself and say, honestly, that I'll never quite be back where I was before. And if nothing else, that's reassuring.
In other news, the Universe has given me access to its lending library of late, which is pretty cool. Everything I read seems to resonate with some area of my life; a problem, a concern, a challenge I am facing. All I have to do is check a random book out from the library, and there I find, if not the answer, at least a similar situation. You know, the Universe whispering "you're not alone..."
I actually find it quite comforting, and am enjoying it while it lasts.
In FAR more mundane news, August ticks ever forward and Back To School looms on the horizon. This has always been my favorite time of year, even as a child. I was a good student and enjoyed school. Although I also enjoyed summer, by this time, I was eager to get back and see the friends I hadn't been in contact with over the summer. Plus...autumn! One of my favorite seasons (along with spring, summer, and winter). But I have a special warm spot in my heart for autumn...the crisp blue sky, the vividly hued leaves, football games (which I don't enjoy, actually, but I enjoy the sound and thought of them, at least in early autumn), apples, pumpkins, Halloween...it's just all good, in autumn. I often wonder if it's because my birthday is this time of year. Someone should do a study on birth dates and how they affect season preference. You know, something important like that. People Want To Know.
Anywho, this b-day is a big one: it starts with a 4 and ends with a 0, and implies a seriousness and wisdom far beyond what I currently, or perhaps ever will, have. 40 says: "Look at me! I am a grown up. I have achieved things!" I kick sand in the face of 40 with my utter lack of achievement. PAH! My mother insists that marriage, home, and family is an achievement. I think that they are perhaps the foundation of an achievement...but there is still more work to be done. Apparently, for all of my life, I will be a late bloomer.
I guess it doesn't matter, as long as I bloom eventually.
So, today I got a phone call from one of the members of the writing group, who is...(drumroll please)...you guessed it: dropping out! We're dropping like flies lately. Since May, we've lost 3 members, and we only had 7 to start with. I had been feeling really good about the group, but now I can't help but wonder. Is it something I've done? I swear, I've showered... In reality, every time this has happened, we've recovered, and been fine. But I harbor this secret fear that at some point, the critical mass of drop-outs will tip the balance, and the rest of the writers will scatter like dry leaves before the wind, leaving me back where I was before.
But then I have to look at myself and say, honestly, that I'll never quite be back where I was before. And if nothing else, that's reassuring.
In other news, the Universe has given me access to its lending library of late, which is pretty cool. Everything I read seems to resonate with some area of my life; a problem, a concern, a challenge I am facing. All I have to do is check a random book out from the library, and there I find, if not the answer, at least a similar situation. You know, the Universe whispering "you're not alone..."
I actually find it quite comforting, and am enjoying it while it lasts.
In FAR more mundane news, August ticks ever forward and Back To School looms on the horizon. This has always been my favorite time of year, even as a child. I was a good student and enjoyed school. Although I also enjoyed summer, by this time, I was eager to get back and see the friends I hadn't been in contact with over the summer. Plus...autumn! One of my favorite seasons (along with spring, summer, and winter). But I have a special warm spot in my heart for autumn...the crisp blue sky, the vividly hued leaves, football games (which I don't enjoy, actually, but I enjoy the sound and thought of them, at least in early autumn), apples, pumpkins, Halloween...it's just all good, in autumn. I often wonder if it's because my birthday is this time of year. Someone should do a study on birth dates and how they affect season preference. You know, something important like that. People Want To Know.
Anywho, this b-day is a big one: it starts with a 4 and ends with a 0, and implies a seriousness and wisdom far beyond what I currently, or perhaps ever will, have. 40 says: "Look at me! I am a grown up. I have achieved things!" I kick sand in the face of 40 with my utter lack of achievement. PAH! My mother insists that marriage, home, and family is an achievement. I think that they are perhaps the foundation of an achievement...but there is still more work to be done. Apparently, for all of my life, I will be a late bloomer.
I guess it doesn't matter, as long as I bloom eventually.