(no subject)
I really, really, really have no idea why the hell I code, much less why I think I can actually make it in a Web Media course. I lack the patience to actually get an understanding of CSS, which means that I pretty much spend my time looking for specific solutions to specific problems without bothering to see how it fits into the larger scheme of things. The only reason I have any understanding of HTML at all is because I coded my first website back in, like, 2000, so at this point I've pretty much done everything you can do with HTML, in some form or other.
On the other hand, maybe a Web Media course will teach me some degree of patience, and I'll be able to reassign win conditions based on smaller targets: instead of the win condition being an aesthetically-pleasing, custom coded, non-stolen layout that does specific things, maybe the win condition needs to be "get links and background to be a colour where you can actually see both."
If I'd played video games as a kid I might have that thought process: defeat level 1, great, but you haven't won the game. But no, I read books. They're pretty straightforward. You get to the end of the book, you've won, you move on. (When you read as fast as I do, chapters are not win conditions.)
Sadly, the only thing that kept me from buying a book on Silverlight, one on Web Design, and one on Asp yesterday was the thought that I really did not need $120.00 of books I wasn't going to read and comprehend. It wasn't anything so logical as the fact that I don't need to know Silverlight (yeah, I know it's new, it's now, it's so hot right now, we might as well just call it Hansel) and I HAVE books on Web Design (that I don't read). And there is no conceivable universe in which I will ever need to know Asp as I understand what it does, so there's that. I just like books, quit judging me. Also, if that universe ever changes, the Web Media course will teach me Asp, so.
I do not, however, like the current cover of Different Seasons. Man, that's assy. It almost looks like they've changed the name of the book to Apt Pupil. I shouldn't have bought it, but I've needed to read Shawshank Redemption for a while now, and the book was there, so.
When I was putting the music into the box, I thought "Oh god, I've completely lost it, an MCR song I don't know the name of immediately!" Then I realised that I could identify that it was off Three Cheers, so I felt moderately better, and then I realised it's probably one of my least-favorite tracks of theirs (it's a fine song, I just don't really like it, though I dislike some of their others a lot more) and then I felt okay again.
Also, it's probably bad that I am actually considering, on the encouragement of some people, writing something that would be just a clusterfuck walking. I have good reasons for not writing RPF (if I've ever spoken to you, for instance) and ... I don't even know. My life is very hard.
But!
- I can't do short writing. I think my shortest complete work is 25,000 words.
- I can't write at least five major figures in the main characters' lives because I've spoken to them, and that's just my personal no-go.
- I am scared to death that given my personal preference in writing (dark, with a side of dark, and one of extreme violence) writing RPF would be a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Other people can do that, and do it well. I just think I would be in the category of people who cannot do it, let alone well.
So why won't my brain stop thinking about this?
Also, yes, the shifting morality here is just HILARIOUS. Trust me, I KNOW. *stabs brain* I remember a time, a long time ago, that I said I wouldn't ever even READ RPF, and it's just been all downhill from there. Apparently, next week I'll be kicking puppies.
On the other hand, maybe a Web Media course will teach me some degree of patience, and I'll be able to reassign win conditions based on smaller targets: instead of the win condition being an aesthetically-pleasing, custom coded, non-stolen layout that does specific things, maybe the win condition needs to be "get links and background to be a colour where you can actually see both."
If I'd played video games as a kid I might have that thought process: defeat level 1, great, but you haven't won the game. But no, I read books. They're pretty straightforward. You get to the end of the book, you've won, you move on. (When you read as fast as I do, chapters are not win conditions.)
Sadly, the only thing that kept me from buying a book on Silverlight, one on Web Design, and one on Asp yesterday was the thought that I really did not need $120.00 of books I wasn't going to read and comprehend. It wasn't anything so logical as the fact that I don't need to know Silverlight (yeah, I know it's new, it's now, it's so hot right now, we might as well just call it Hansel) and I HAVE books on Web Design (that I don't read). And there is no conceivable universe in which I will ever need to know Asp as I understand what it does, so there's that. I just like books, quit judging me. Also, if that universe ever changes, the Web Media course will teach me Asp, so.
I do not, however, like the current cover of Different Seasons. Man, that's assy. It almost looks like they've changed the name of the book to Apt Pupil. I shouldn't have bought it, but I've needed to read Shawshank Redemption for a while now, and the book was there, so.
When I was putting the music into the box, I thought "Oh god, I've completely lost it, an MCR song I don't know the name of immediately!" Then I realised that I could identify that it was off Three Cheers, so I felt moderately better, and then I realised it's probably one of my least-favorite tracks of theirs (it's a fine song, I just don't really like it, though I dislike some of their others a lot more) and then I felt okay again.
Also, it's probably bad that I am actually considering, on the encouragement of some people, writing something that would be just a clusterfuck walking. I have good reasons for not writing RPF (if I've ever spoken to you, for instance) and ... I don't even know. My life is very hard.
But!
- I can't do short writing. I think my shortest complete work is 25,000 words.
- I can't write at least five major figures in the main characters' lives because I've spoken to them, and that's just my personal no-go.
- I am scared to death that given my personal preference in writing (dark, with a side of dark, and one of extreme violence) writing RPF would be a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Other people can do that, and do it well. I just think I would be in the category of people who cannot do it, let alone well.
So why won't my brain stop thinking about this?
Also, yes, the shifting morality here is just HILARIOUS. Trust me, I KNOW. *stabs brain* I remember a time, a long time ago, that I said I wouldn't ever even READ RPF, and it's just been all downhill from there. Apparently, next week I'll be kicking puppies.