Dear Q
I have a new phone - it's new, in the sense that I forced AT&T to give it to me, but I've had it for a couple of weeks now - and we're still working out the details of our relationship.
Things I do like:
- It works, unlike the ex phone.
- It has sudoku on it.
- It has email on it.
- It's not a Samsung.
- It's not a refurb.
Things I don't like:
- It has email on it.
- It notifies me of new email after I've already opened the computer and read the relevant email.
- It's black, which is camoflage for everything I own. Including purses. (Old phone was red.)
- It doesn't close applications when you flip the phone shut. Which is why I have a 411 minute game of sudoku fucking up my stats.
- It doesn't necessarily go into standby mode when you flip the phone shut.
- You cannot turn the volume all the way down without going into the settings - the rocker switch only goes to 1.
- You cannot turn the outside screen on to check time without starting up the camera - which does not shut off when you're ignoring the phone again, because it thinks this is an application.
- You can start the camera without realising you've done so. It will run for forever if you do.
So, basically, I hate everything about it but I'm learning to live with it. However, I'm thinking I should return it, given the number of things there on the "hate" column, some of which simply have not come up yet. I mean, I haven't had any meetings to go to where I've had to shut the volume off.
Parenthetically, I'm now seeing reviews that say it's terrible, in the ways I don't want - as in, I do actually want memory in this thing. That's kind of...not an option there. Equally parenthetically, I might have found the phone to switch to.
But! The point of all this is that I have finally named an inanimate object, and I've named it Q because it calls itself Q. I never argue with someone's self-definition, so Q it is. The only problem with this is that Q did not introduce itself to me, but instead started sending emails from Q. This is only odd because it was using my email address.
I'm starting to think that Q needs to be gotten out of my life, because if not I'll find out that, actually, Q's been calling a 900 number located in Bahrain, at $24.99/minute, and pretending it's me. I don't know if I can bitchslap AT&T out of that charge.
But let me tell you, this phrase works wonders: "Are you telling me you don't support your vendors? Should I bring up this problem with Samsung and explain to them that you have no intention of supporting the product you are still selling, even though we both know that, if you took this phone back, you would charge Samsung for the problem, refurbish the phone, and resell it?" Yes, I may have reupped with AT&T when I said I wouldn't, but on the other hand, I take pride in knowing that they think I've reupped with them - what's actually happened is that they gave in to me and reupped with me. I intend to hold them to the standard I wish them to operate at.
Things I do like:
- It works, unlike the ex phone.
- It has sudoku on it.
- It has email on it.
- It's not a Samsung.
- It's not a refurb.
Things I don't like:
- It has email on it.
- It notifies me of new email after I've already opened the computer and read the relevant email.
- It's black, which is camoflage for everything I own. Including purses. (Old phone was red.)
- It doesn't close applications when you flip the phone shut. Which is why I have a 411 minute game of sudoku fucking up my stats.
- It doesn't necessarily go into standby mode when you flip the phone shut.
- You cannot turn the volume all the way down without going into the settings - the rocker switch only goes to 1.
- You cannot turn the outside screen on to check time without starting up the camera - which does not shut off when you're ignoring the phone again, because it thinks this is an application.
- You can start the camera without realising you've done so. It will run for forever if you do.
So, basically, I hate everything about it but I'm learning to live with it. However, I'm thinking I should return it, given the number of things there on the "hate" column, some of which simply have not come up yet. I mean, I haven't had any meetings to go to where I've had to shut the volume off.
Parenthetically, I'm now seeing reviews that say it's terrible, in the ways I don't want - as in, I do actually want memory in this thing. That's kind of...not an option there. Equally parenthetically, I might have found the phone to switch to.
But! The point of all this is that I have finally named an inanimate object, and I've named it Q because it calls itself Q. I never argue with someone's self-definition, so Q it is. The only problem with this is that Q did not introduce itself to me, but instead started sending emails from Q. This is only odd because it was using my email address.
I'm starting to think that Q needs to be gotten out of my life, because if not I'll find out that, actually, Q's been calling a 900 number located in Bahrain, at $24.99/minute, and pretending it's me. I don't know if I can bitchslap AT&T out of that charge.
But let me tell you, this phrase works wonders: "Are you telling me you don't support your vendors? Should I bring up this problem with Samsung and explain to them that you have no intention of supporting the product you are still selling, even though we both know that, if you took this phone back, you would charge Samsung for the problem, refurbish the phone, and resell it?" Yes, I may have reupped with AT&T when I said I wouldn't, but on the other hand, I take pride in knowing that they think I've reupped with them - what's actually happened is that they gave in to me and reupped with me. I intend to hold them to the standard I wish them to operate at.